Attraction to your straight friends

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    Aug 11, 2011 4:34 AM GMT
    Has anyone ever been really attracted to your straight friends. If so, how do you deal with it without ruining the friendship?
  • xJudasx

    Posts: 19

    Aug 11, 2011 4:44 AM GMT
    I have really cool friends that don't mind much. I just tell em, they know it and it's not a mystery they try to avoid
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    Aug 11, 2011 4:57 AM GMT
    Just treat them the way you would if you weren't attracted to them. It might be awkward at times, but you just have to resist temptation and deal with it.
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    Aug 11, 2011 4:59 AM GMT
    Yeah, find someone else to fuck lol. Imagine its them if you want, whatever works icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 11, 2011 2:30 PM GMT
    Not so much anymore. I think I have a sense of who would sleep with me and who would not..and I tend to run with that.
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    Aug 11, 2011 2:33 PM GMT
    Just be honest with them. True friends would probably be flattered. icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 12, 2011 12:12 AM GMT
    You can always let it slip into a conversation but you'd have to reassure them that you're not going to make a move.
    The reality is that they will most likely never reciprocate the feelings you have for them. It's like willing a door to open when it's locked. Acknowledge that they are a great person that you want to be around (not with) and soon you'll get over the hurdle and still have the kind of positive, intertwined and shared connection you should have with close friends.
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    Aug 12, 2011 12:19 AM GMT
    I use to be attracted to couple of them...And I told him straight up and while they were flattered, they unable to reciprocate... They are my closest friends now and very accepting of me.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Aug 12, 2011 12:22 AM GMT
    i just start viewing them as my little brother. i am also wired a little different if i meet someone who straight and i think they are hot. i immediately treat as if they are married and not available to me.
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    Aug 12, 2011 12:34 AM GMT
    I was mildly attracted to one of my straight buddies. What made it hard was that all my straight buddies are pretty affectionate now that they are a little older. Nothing sexual, just bonding crap. I got over it by finding guys to hook up with, to be honest. A nice healthy diversion.
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    Aug 12, 2011 12:39 AM GMT
    Remind yourself that they are not gay. Period. Point. Blank.
  • RHUK

    Posts: 273

    Aug 12, 2011 2:22 AM GMT
    pjs1450 saidHas anyone ever been really attracted to your straight friends. If so, how do you deal with it without ruining the friendship?


    Start going out with a nice, down to earth, easygoing lad, preferably with ginger hair, white skin and freckles, called Rob. He'll make you forget about your straight friends.icon_smile.gif

    Hehe, in seriousness, its just something you have to get through, Ive crushed pretty heavily on some of my straight friends, particularly when I was just coming out and they were really affectionate towards me, but in time if you get yourself some healthy 'diversions' then you'll at least be able to deal with the crush easier, even if it doesnt totally go away.
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    Aug 12, 2011 2:26 AM GMT
    I have an attraction not to close friends but to two frat brothers icon_redface.gif
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    Aug 12, 2011 2:28 AM GMT
    I hit on him while he's around (it's good I'm not an obvious flirter) and while he's away I talk about him behind his back of my secret crush icon_twisted.gif
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    Aug 12, 2011 6:35 AM GMT
    If the straight friends know I'm gay...I'll let them know they are hot. If they want to experiment past that then that's fine.

    But at the same time I operate in real time. Real life. Not a fantasy relationship. If you spend all your time being attracted to straight friends, then you're going to miss the ones who might have a real interest in you.
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    Aug 13, 2011 2:16 PM GMT
    It's totally painful to hold on to!!!

    I finally told him, just to get it out. He was very cool about it (as I figured he'd be) and that totally diffused it for me. I think that just knowing that he knows how I feel, and that he understands that I don't expect anything from him other than our friendship, has made it really a non-issue for me.
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    Aug 13, 2011 2:18 PM GMT
    When i had a crush for my Str8 friends was a pain in ass .. but now its ok .. however i am having a crush on my Straight coach rofl ...
  • Scorpio1113

    Posts: 90

    Aug 13, 2011 3:35 PM GMT
    I used to have "crushes" on my straight male friends because I wasn't any getting any attention from gay men (didn't know any).

    Put yourself around people you can actually be with, and this will be a laughing matter (like it is for me) of the past.
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    Aug 13, 2011 3:38 PM GMT
    I have a few times. It doesnt ruin the friendship because they are not gay and I know that. I am mature enough to manage my crush and still be friends.
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    Aug 13, 2011 3:42 PM GMT
    Chances are is nothing will come of it, so it's best to not really give it the time of day.

    If you're attracted to more than just their looks, feel free to compliment them on it and see if you can find any way to develop that attribute within yourself (assuming it's a good one). Try to make it something with which to better yourself rather than cause you frustration and agony.
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    Aug 13, 2011 3:49 PM GMT
    VeinyArms saidJust be honest with them. True friends would probably be flattered. icon_smile.gif


    Some things are better left unsaid. Just because I took an epic shit, it doesnt mean it needs to be my facebook status.
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    Aug 13, 2011 4:01 PM GMT
    I just realize that it would ruin the friendship and revoke my "gay card" if I fucked her.
  • jasen202

    Posts: 42

    Aug 13, 2011 7:52 PM GMT
    I just be mature and professional about it, and just see him as a friend.
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    Aug 15, 2011 2:36 AM GMT
    I am attracted to a few of my straight friends. It's funny because most of them know I'm into guys and that haven't changed our friendship or relationship one bit. They seem a bit more accepting of me and even seem to go out of their way to ask me about my relationships or who I found hot (and were they also fuckable, lol).

    And that meant a lot to me because, being gay I thought I would wait until they were "fully comfortable" with my sexuality to talk about my attraction to guys, while they seemed more comfortable than I am. And since we're now all comfortable, that usually leads to joking, harmless flirting, hugging, etc.

    No, not to say I should be fucking my friends or they'd even let me. (Even if I had the choice I don't think I'd do it because I really have great friends). But with a real friendship, it really doesn't matter, most joke about it or could care less. It's not like they are living in fag fear because "you're the gay friend and if you get any gay on them, they'll throw up."