Depression

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    Aug 11, 2011 1:57 PM GMT

    The depression has hit everybody...

    I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

    Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

    CEO's are not playing miniature golf, because their salaries are in the millions.

    Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

    A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of
    pennies while she danced.

    I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

    If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call
    them and ask if they meant you or them.

    McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ounce.

    Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

    Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

    My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and
    they've re-possessed her.

    A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

    A picture is now worth only 200 words.

    The Treasure Island Casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

    Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh
    Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated
    by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

    I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs,
    my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the
    Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told
    them I was suicidal, they got excited and asked if I could drive a
    truck.


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    Aug 11, 2011 2:14 PM GMT
    Damn! I'm going to take some extra meds right now!
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    Aug 11, 2011 2:30 PM GMT


    Rofl @ these jokes!

    It's so depressing....

    Back when I was single a guy I liked called me up and said, "Come on over, nobody's home ." So I went over - no one was home.

    Self-service massage parlours.

    The Doc said to watch my drinking so now I drink in front of a mirror.

    I told the Doc when I get up in the morning and look in the mirror over the sink I feel like throwing up. The Doc said my vision is perfect.

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    Aug 11, 2011 5:43 PM GMT
    I'm so broke, I use two plastic cups and a string for internet.
  • smudgedude

    Posts: 260

    Aug 11, 2011 6:31 PM GMT
    this thread makes me miss rodney dangerfield
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    Aug 11, 2011 8:16 PM GMT
    Lol... Hahaha!!! This made me laugh and smile
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    Aug 12, 2011 2:37 AM GMT
    (: