If you see someone crying does that draw you closer or push you away?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2011 12:36 AM GMT
    I was just wondering. I feel closer to someone after I've seen them tear up.

    It depends on what they are crying about. If it's something silly then I just sorta move on. If it's something serious then its heartfelt.
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Aug 12, 2011 12:52 AM GMT
    Closer.

    I hate to see people so despondent. But like you said, it is circumstantial. Anything nonsensical is not going to garner much sympathy from me. And if they're the type to cry over every little thing, I'd probably work with them to not get so emotionally involved in petty matters. It isn't healthy.
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    Aug 12, 2011 12:58 AM GMT
    Soulasphyxi saidI was just wondering. I feel closer to someone after I've seen them tear up.

    It depends on what they are crying about. If it's something silly then I just sorta move on. If it's something serious then its heartfelt.
    That...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2011 1:04 AM GMT
    Closer
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2011 1:06 AM GMT
    Closer. I'm a real softie. To cry is one of the few moments when one lets their defenses down.
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    Aug 12, 2011 1:36 AM GMT
    I cried in front of my academic and clinic director. Well I broke down entirely. I feel we are much closer now, but that's my side of the story.
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2603

    Aug 12, 2011 1:56 AM GMT
    Closer.Seeing a guy cry from the heart always makes me want help him if I can.I don`t like to see some one distressed.
    I`m a big softie,I know....
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    Aug 12, 2011 1:56 AM GMT
    Victorius saidwell, my mom always said that as soon as i see a man cry,
    to just runaway...


    Your poems suck. They don't even rhyme.
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Aug 12, 2011 1:57 AM GMT
    Depends on why they're crying.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2011 1:58 AM GMT
    Closer. icon_cry.gif I begin to tear up too...

    Of course, when it's crocodile tears, I just don't give a fuck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2011 2:10 AM GMT
    I try to see what their situation is about first so closer it is
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    Aug 12, 2011 2:12 AM GMT
    i would just awkwardly pat them on the back...then move on
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    Aug 12, 2011 2:18 AM GMT
    It pushes me away, because I never know how to help someone that is crying.. No matter how hard I try, I'm just not a person that was born to be the type to help others in need.. So when someone cries and I can't help them, I feel guilty, and I feel angry at myself.. So I always try to avoid crying, so I never get put in that situation.
  • swedeinusa

    Posts: 285

    Aug 12, 2011 2:56 AM GMT
    Closer if I know them pretty well and its a legitimate reason.

    Pushed away if they're a stranger dealing with a petty problem. "They didn't put pickles in my BURGER" -SOB- /truestory
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    Aug 12, 2011 3:11 AM GMT
    People crying makes me very uncomfortable. I generally tend to underline how uncomfortable I am by patting the person awkwardly on the back, which then makes them feel uncomfortable on top of whatever provoked the crying.

    I do not like feelings.
  • tautomer

    Posts: 1010

    Aug 12, 2011 3:35 AM GMT
    Closer.

    I am quiet empathetic so it can usually cause me to cry as well if it's under the right circumstances. That doesn't mean I like it though... My emotions are really strong and I don't really know how to express it. Nevertheless, I have an overwhelming sense of duty to help others so that usually gets put to the wayside, but can subsequently harm me later when I am alone.
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    Aug 12, 2011 3:57 AM GMT
    If you see someone crying does that draw you closer or push you away?

    If you're talking about men, the answer is away. Like with US Speak John Boehner. I have no use for wimps. icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 12, 2011 4:15 AM GMT
    It can go many ways. At work I have to keep a distance while trying to maintain some empathy. In my personal life, which thankfully has far less trauma than I witness at work, I am much more free with my emotions and I will feel bad if my friends are feeling bad.
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    Aug 12, 2011 11:17 AM GMT
    closer closer so much closer

    Croc tears are usually seen on girls as boys are taught that they don't cry, and most believe it.

    I don't fawn over someone upset though, and it pisses me off when people do that. They think making someone stop crying and feel happy is the fix. It's anti-progress.

    "I got fired for skipping too many days at work *sob sob* I'm such a crappy worker!! *sob*"
    fawners: "don't say that! you're a hard worker!"
    me: "you didn't show up and it caught up with you. It sucks, but it's totally possible to change that for your next job. You're not a crappy worker, you just didn't do what you needed to this time."

    I think of tears as something you have to let run until dry when they happen. Otherwise, they're still in you making baggage for future events.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Aug 12, 2011 11:28 AM GMT
    Usually I never know what to do, which is actually rare for me. I always find crying situations awkward. It neither makes me feel closer nor pushes me away.
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    Aug 12, 2011 10:34 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidIf you see someone crying does that draw you closer or push you away?

    If you're talking about men, the answer is away. Like with US Speak John Boehner. I have no use for wimps. icon_razz.gif


    Art-Deco, you should work as a Daily Mail newspaper columnist. You'll be LOVED by all the other staff, particularly by Amanda Platell and Melanie Phillips, both diehard advocates of British stoicism.

    To answer the OP's question, I'll be closer only if the emotional grief is genuine, e.g. loss of a loved one or close relative.
    But instances such as someone had scratched the body of his beloved Porsche would make me turn away.
  • davidsticky69

    Posts: 412

    Aug 13, 2011 10:58 AM GMT
    My reaction would have to be highly dependent on the person crying, my relationship with him/her and the specific situation that we are in.

    Some people are not comfortable with letting others know how emotionally vulnerable they are when they cry. Some just like to be left alone. I have observed that most straight guys (not being skeptical of the gay population, it's just that I don't really know lots of gay friends) prefer to suppress their emotions in an attempt to protect their masculine image. I remember sitting on the bench next to my emotionally torn best friend. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he just sat there, dazed, gazing into empty space. I offered him a piece of tissue paper and we both sat there in silence. Just my presence there was enough comfort to him, but not too overwhelming that it'd throw him off. After a long silence, we both got up and went to get his favorite food.

    Girls usually like it when you put your arms around them and pat gently on their heads as they sob their hearts out on your shoulders. Performing this act does not necessarily draw me closer to the girl. It was more like a duty to be there. It felt right to do what I did. That's all.

    Having said that, I felt a hard tug on my heart when I saw tears free-falling from my sister's cheeks after her first break-up...
  • danielvn

    Posts: 222

    Aug 13, 2011 11:01 AM GMT
    It depends on what that person is crying for.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2011 11:06 AM GMT
    Depends on what the situation is but usually it closer when someone is in distress
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    Aug 13, 2011 9:18 PM GMT
    Draws me closer, after all they've trusted you with an intimate side of themselves