Just came out to first straight friend

  • jasen202

    Posts: 42

    Aug 12, 2011 11:51 PM GMT
    Being out as a gay in my 30s just happen naturally even though I always knew I am gay. But being out as a gay isn't a priority for me because that is just one slice of my identity trait and not the main trait. I wanted to be able to take care of myself financially and have an education first. Only gay people know me as gay and I don't care if people see me at gay places.

    In a way now, based on a hell of a tough experience, in my next step in this evolving process, I've turned the corner where I can't hold it anymore and where I really need to come out by consulting and training those straight people around me to be accepting of me as a gay.

    I had a hard time saying it, crumbling my words but finally said "I am gay" to my good straight friend around my age. A few days later, I watched a movie with his family and afterwards we talked. He was cool about it like nothing happen. He is a really mature guy and looks after his family and people around him. We share lots of life experiences even if I didn't come out. He agrees to go to the gay places with me soon, to see what it's all about , learn and have fun. I'm glad all went just fine. I want to make it work with him because I will need to deal with all the other straight people in my life eventually...

    BTW: There's groups I guys I would never do; including bartenders, straight guys and gay guys in relationships. I have a zero tolerance policy. I have no interest in straight guys but friendship with them is like sacred. There's so many cool gay guys out there, that Ive enjoy time with already...


  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Aug 13, 2011 12:16 AM GMT
    johnnydssa saidBeing out as a gay in my 30s just happen naturally even though I always knew I am gay. But being out as a gay isn't a priority for me because that is just one slice of my identity trait and not the main trait. I wanted to be able to take care of myself financially and have an education first. Only gay people know me as gay and I don't care if people see me at gay places.

    In a way now, based on a hell of a tough experience, in my next step in this evolving process, I've turned the corner where I can't hold it anymore and where I really need to come out by consulting and training those straight people around me to be accepting of me as a gay.

    I had a hard time saying it, crumbling my words but finally said "I am gay" to my good straight friend around my age. A few days later, I watched a movie with his family and afterwards we talked. He was cool about it like nothing happen. He is a really mature guy and looks after his family and people around him. We share lots of life experiences even if I didn't come out. He agrees to go to the gay places with me soon, to see what it's all about , learn and have fun. I'm glad all went just fine. I want to make it work with him because I will need to deal with all the other straight people in my life eventually...

    BTW: There's groups I guys I would never do; including bartenders, straight guys and gay guys in relationships. I have a zero tolerance policy. I have no interest in straight guys but friendship with them is like sacred. There's so many cool gay guys out there, that Ive enjoy time with already...




    Congrats on all of this. I'm glad you are able to take this step! And your whole "bartenders" rule is a crock of shit. As someone who worked on that side of the bar before, I'll tell you, we're the sober ones while the rest of you are chugging beers, downing shots, and stumbling your way home with strangers.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2011 12:20 AM GMT
    I don't quite follow the bartender comment?
  • jasen202

    Posts: 42

    Aug 13, 2011 12:46 AM GMT
    Danis: My only experience with bartenders is at the bar. I've never seen them or talked to them outside of it. I don't know if there is a bartenders imposed rule about co-mingling with your clients outside work.

    I must say, bartenders are some of the nicest gay guys out there. It's just they do it to everyone. So, if you asked me the Why? of not preferring bartenders, it is that so far, we've never got to know one another outsider the bar.. If I did meet a guy in a club who works as a bartender, I could be interested.

  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Aug 13, 2011 6:55 AM GMT
    You're in a way better place than all the guys struggling with coming out. You have a mission in life and your taking control. You're an inspiration to us all.
  • Vaughn

    Posts: 1880

    Aug 13, 2011 6:57 AM GMT
    Banging bartender's is the best. You always get fast service from then on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2011 6:59 AM GMT
    Congrats! Once you get more comfortable with being yourself, you'll realize that most straight people truly don't give a fuck. In fact, most straight people will respect you even more for your honesty.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2011 9:38 AM GMT
    johnnydssa saidBTW: There's groups I guys I would never do; including bartenders, straight guys and gay guys in relationships. I have a zero tolerance policy. I have no interest in straight guys but friendship with them is like sacred. There's so many cool gay guys out there, that Ive enjoy time with already...

    Wtf? Relevance?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2011 9:50 AM GMT
    You know now that I think of it, a lot of people who I find shit faced tell me they are bartenders...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 13, 2011 9:52 AM GMT
    I'm out to my some of close straight mates and they are pretty cool and understanding.

    So congrats and may your bonds of friend be solidified even further!
  • jasen202

    Posts: 42

    Aug 13, 2011 7:45 PM GMT
    Thanks to all you guys for your kind responses. It's going to be lots of fun.

    Some of you guys are right about certain straight people not wanting to be the last person to know. I must say, lots of straight people I know have a neutral standing on it and some just resort to gay name calling so that is why I'm taking my time, take this measurely, one person at a time.



    (BTW: If you guys want to talk more about bartenders, lets do it with a different subject header.... those guys are awesome and some hot as hell.)