You discover BF's pictures on a hook-up website

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 2:40 AM GMT
    Let's say you have a friend who is in a monogamous relationship. You know he trusts his partner completely. You know your friend has turned down offers by saying he is in a relationship.

    However, you discover your friend's BF's pictures and find he has created what he thought was an anonymous ID on a hook-up site. He goofs and puts his face picture on the same ID that he has complete nudes including full blown raging hardon. The profile said what he was looking for.

    Now, you know the BF has criticized your friend for having some racy or suggestive pictures on his own profile and you know the BF has asked your friend why he thinks he needs pictures like that on his profile when they are supposed to be in a relationship.


    Would you tell your friend --- maybe show him the link and let him confront the BF?

    If you were the friend, how would you react if you discovered your monogamous BF was posting nude pictures on a hook-up site ---- would you be hurt, mad, would you confront him?

    Don't you think that is a bit hypocritical on the BF's part?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 2:48 AM GMT
    I'd hookup with both of them on the DL on separate occasions, then confront them both about it. icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 2:53 AM GMT
    *campy voice on*
    Oh Paul, STOP IT! You're TERRIBLE! icon_wink.gif
    *campy voice off - there is only so long I can do that without gagging*

    OK, serious mode back on:

    I've answered similar questions on this forum in the same vein - this depends on where your loyalties lie and how strongly. If the primary attachment is to the friend, and you consider yourselves close, then I would tell him. But that's _ME_. I have strong views about loyalty and hierarchies and I am also very clear about that with people. If they're both acquaintances and/or on equal footing as far as who matters more to you, I'd probably stay out of it.

    That's my $.02, which is about all it's worth - I see this as something you'll have to reconcile based on your own values.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Aug 14, 2011 2:55 AM GMT
    fuck yeah, tell him.

    he shouldnt be in a relationship if hes trying to hook up with other dudes.

    i certainly would wanna know so i could avoid AIDS and other STDs.


    TELL HIM
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 2:58 AM GMT
    Thanks Eli,

    To claify --- I really do not know the BF. I am only friend with one of them.

    I recognized the BF's face pictures as I had seen a picture of him before . I did initiate a conversation with him through IM. We only spoke a couple exchanges before he said he was having trouble with his computer and was going to have to reboot and he left the chat window. I did however see he stayed online. When I returned a few hours later and opened the website again, I discovered I must have really scared or shaken him up because all of our email exchanges were deleted, even on my page, his picture had disappeared from the tracking on my profile, and his profile appears to have been deleted. So, he either deleted it or blocked me. I did let him know that I was a friend of his BF -- so possibly I scared him into getting rid of the profile?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 3:17 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI'd hookup with both of them on the DL on separate occasions, then confront them both about it. icon_twisted.gif


    Totally
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 3:19 AM GMT
    Why not tell the BF anonymously?

    We have so many anonymous websites it's easy let him know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    Import saidfuck yeah, tell him.

    he shouldnt be in a relationship if hes trying to hook up with other dudes.



    Or, he should be in a relationship where that is a part of a clearly-agreed-upon set of parameters for the relationship.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 6:11 AM GMT
    Personally, I would stay out of it. I would not touch it at all. It is their relationship and none of my business. If this is going on, it will resolve somehow... maybe by the BF wising up and stopping. Or by the friend discovering on his own. Or by the BF realizing he wasn't happy and he wants to break it off.

    I wouldn't get involved into someone else's life.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Aug 14, 2011 10:56 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI'd hookup with both of them on the DL on separate occasions, then confront them both about it. icon_twisted.gif


    Lol that's the way to do it I suppose.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Aug 14, 2011 1:16 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI'd hookup with both of them on the DL on separate occasions, then confront them both about it. icon_twisted.gif


    This. It's just too good of an option icon_smile.gif hopefully they'll learn their lesson after that ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 1:18 PM GMT
    Welcome to GAY.
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    Aug 14, 2011 1:20 PM GMT
    ks_dusty saidhmmmm, Paul ---- I believe you are the one who always says --- pics or it didn't happen?? icon_twisted.gif
    In this case, video would be more appropriate. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 1:20 PM GMT
    ks_dusty said
    Don't you think that is a bit hypocritical on the BF's part?


    yes
    he is a hypocrite
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    Aug 14, 2011 1:24 PM GMT
    ks_dusty saidNow, you know the BF has criticized your friend for having some racy or suggestive pictures on his own profile and you know the BF has asked your friend why he thinks he needs pictures like that on his profile when they are supposed to be in a relationship.

    And so maybe the BF posted those pics to make a point with your friend about his own online pics, that the BF doesn't like. Or maybe your friend has been cheating, and this is the BF's revenge.

    You don't know, so therefore you shouldn't get involved.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 1:24 PM GMT
    I would defiantly tell, if my friends bf was hooking up he could catch something and give it to my friend who thinks they're monotonous so maybe they don't use condoms. Thats my input, I dont even care if it seems like hypocracy if my friends health is on the line
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 1:27 PM GMT
    Answer the BF's profile anonymously. Tell him you know his BF (aka your friend); mention their real names in real life. Tell the BF that you have taken a screen shot of his profile with his face on. Tell the BF that if he does not take down those racy photos (or if it's a hookup site, just delete his profile altogether), you will send the screenshot to his BF.

    Take the screenshot for reals. In case you really need to expose this sucker.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 14, 2011 1:32 PM GMT
    I certainly would be sure of all relevant facts. So easy to get things misconstrued or even to get pictures confused. Pictures can also be stolen. I recently had a couple of friends tell me a picture of me was on some "Craigslist" ad. I had it flagged. I wasn't very happy.

    Trust is usually developed over time between a couple. My suggestion is that you either say nothing or carefully explain what you believe you have found. It will be up to your friend to determine a course of action.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 1:43 PM GMT
    I would normally suggest not to get involved, but in this case you would be telling your friend about something posted on a public site. Whether there is a mistaken identity is something your friend could address.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 1:46 PM GMT
    MYOB!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 1:53 PM GMT
    ks_dusty saidLet's say you have a friend who is in a monogamous relationship. You know he trusts his partner completely. You know your friend has turned down offers by saying he is in a relationship.

    However, you discover your friend's BF's pictures and find he has created what he thought was an anonymous ID on a hook-up site. He goofs and puts his face picture on the same ID that he has complete nudes including full blown raging hardon. The profile said what he was looking for.

    Now, you know the BF has criticized your friend for having some racy or suggestive pictures on his own profile and you know the BF has asked your friend why he thinks he needs pictures like that on his profile when they are supposed to be in a relationship.


    Would you tell your friend --- maybe show him the link and let him confront the BF?

    If you were the friend, how would you react if you discovered your monogamous BF was posting nude pictures on a hook-up site ---- would you be hurt, mad, would you confront him?

    Don't you think that is a bit hypocritical on the BF's part?


    if you consider yourself a friend tell him. tell him now!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 1:59 PM GMT
    he would discover his shit in the hallway.......
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 2:30 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]HndsmKansan said[/cite]I certainly would be sure of all relevant facts. So easy to get things misconstrued or even to get pictures confused. Pictures can also be stolen. quote]

    While that may be true, I sent an email to the profile and wrote the guy's name with a question mark.

    I received an email saying, "yes, this is ______, who are you"

    I replied, "we have a mutual friend" He confirmed who he was in the instant message, and I called my friend by name.

    There is no doubt in my mind who it was.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 2:35 PM GMT
    Let your friend know. HIV is real.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2011 2:40 PM GMT
    ...or you could tell your friend that you think someone has stolen your bf's pics and is using them.
    Then let the two of them sort it out. I say this because I think that without actually meeting the bf of your friend via this mystery profile, you really can't know for sure.