I'm not going to pursue him like some cray cray!

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    Aug 14, 2011 6:25 PM GMT
    O.....K.......

    You know what I'm talking about people! You meet a guy, it could be online, clubs, bars, through friends, w/e. You feel that there is a connection, he seemed really interested at first. You talk, talk, talk, and then the fire starts to die away. You are wondering if you did something wrong, because why did it go from some really interesting conversation with light flirting, to like....nothing

    No more communication.

    No more steam. WTF?!

    W.....T.....F.....?!?!?!

    You still have his #. You still have his FB. You still have his email. Or if you met him here, he's still on RJ.

    WTF do you do? I'm not going to pursue him like some cray-cray!
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    Aug 14, 2011 6:40 PM GMT
    you forget him and move on
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    Aug 14, 2011 6:55 PM GMT
    After some lousy experiences when I was younger, I made it my rule that after him not calling me back I will call him once more. If there is still no revival happening then, I'm moving on.
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    Aug 14, 2011 8:00 PM GMT
    People do get busy and forgetful if there is a lot on the plate outside of their dating life - if it has been long enough it does not make you look weak just to send a "Hey, how are things?" and see what kind of response you get.

    Sometimes you get the insta-delete from facebook if that is what was going on, and other times you get back an "Oh, things have been hectic since I got cancer ... " and you can rekindle whatever you want.

    I like definitive closure whenever I may obtain it.
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    Aug 14, 2011 8:13 PM GMT
    waimea saidWTF do you do? I'm not going to pursue him like some cray-cray!

    Then don't. The ball's in his court, and he dropped it. Game's over.
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    Aug 14, 2011 8:13 PM GMT
    There are so many ways of meeting people these days that he could be talking to multiple people.

    For me I get very overwhelmed from online dating sites/grindr. I find it difficult to maintain interest with several people at the same time... I can only really focus on one person. It's time-consuming enough to maintain good offline friendships, let alone 10 online ones.

    That's why I try to meet asap, because it's more difficult to dismiss a person once you've met.

    Sometimes getting a reminder is helpful. There are guys right now I would hang out with, but I'm just so busy with hobbies/friends/work that I forget and before I know it weeks have passed.

    Some of my friends seem to be able to chat 24/7 online. I don't get it, but then I'd rather be doing other things.
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    Aug 14, 2011 8:31 PM GMT
    spaghettimonster saidPeople do get busy and forgetful if there is a lot on the plate outside of their dating life - if it has been long enough it does not make you look weak just to send a "Hey, how are things?" and see what kind of response you get.

    Sometimes you get the insta-delete from facebook if that is what was going on, and other times you get back an "Oh, things have been hectic since I got cancer ... " and you can rekindle whatever you want.

    I like definitive closure whenever I may obtain it.


    I like you. You're much more compassionate than the other posters. And you give thoughtful response. Thank you icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 14, 2011 8:32 PM GMT
    steamfunk saidThere are so many ways of meeting people these days that he could be talking to multiple people.

    For me I get very overwhelmed from online dating sites/grindr. I find it difficult to maintain interest with several people at the same time... I can only really focus on one person. It's time-consuming enough to maintain good offline friendships, let alone 10 online ones.

    That's why I try to meet asap, because it's more difficult to dismiss a person once you've met.

    Sometimes getting a reminder is helpful. There are guys right now I would hang out with, but I'm just so busy with hobbies/friends/work that I forget and before I know it weeks have passed.

    Some of my friends seem to be able to chat 24/7 online. I don't get it, but then I'd rather be doing other things.



    Hahaha, it's like, "don't you have other things to do? like your work?!"

    I agree with what you said, yeah it's overwhelming.
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    Aug 14, 2011 11:28 PM GMT
    I get back to work and life... more people come along... cant get caught up in the past.... focus on the people you need to get ahead in life, no more, no less
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    Aug 15, 2011 1:51 AM GMT
    icon_neutral.gif
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    Aug 15, 2011 1:55 AM GMT
    dekiruman saidicon_neutral.gif


    LOL @ deki's response &

    LOL @ the thread title.

    Then don't pursue him. There are other guys out there. Better ones. The ones that stay around and the ones that write (or call) back. I promise.
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    Aug 15, 2011 5:46 AM GMT
    what was wrong with the thread title? icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 15, 2011 6:19 AM GMT
    steamfunk said

    Sometimes getting a reminder is helpful. There are guys right now I would hang out with, but I'm just so busy with hobbies/friends/work that I forget and before I know it weeks have passed.


    +1

    With me anyway - for purely platonic friendships and otherwise, if I want to hang out...I'm going to say, "let's hang out." If I don't want to, then I won't say it. So if I show interest to chill or do whatever and it doesn't happen right away, it'd be great to get that reminder just so that I know it's a priority to the guy too.

    So to the OP, if the guy shows interest and you are interested, I personally wouldn't find it annoying to get the ball rolling. After all, until you get some real traction in your friendship/relationship/whatever, you're probably not the sun to him...
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    Aug 15, 2011 3:53 PM GMT
    closer85 said

    So to the OP, if the guy shows interest and you are interested, I personally wouldn't find it annoying to get the ball rolling. After all, until you get some real traction in your friendship/relationship/whatever, you're probably not the sun to him...


    But I also don't want to make myself sound / look desperate. I dunno. Some guys like heavy pursuing and some don't. How do you know what is healthy reminder that "yeah dude, what about that date that you said we're gonna go on like a month ago", and what is in the realm of cray-cray??

    I don't want to look like Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction. That will scare away any men.

    alexforrest.jpg. --> scary
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    Aug 15, 2011 4:06 PM GMT
    Speak up, ask, and if he responds positively, you're good. Otherwise, you have your answer. You're only cray cray if you don't accept no (either implied or explicit) for an answer.
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    Aug 15, 2011 4:21 PM GMT
    LOL. There's not much you can do, buddy. You leave a message, text or whatever and just let it take it's course. If he decides to give you the silent & avoidance treatment then that's your cue to move on. If he decides to give you "run around" answers and naturally I would hope you wouldn't be cool with that then you move on.

    Beating around the bush with a question you already know the answer too based off of actions alone is not healthy. You keep on truckin' and find someone who will match your speed and stay consistent with it.

    Basically don't clown around with someone who isn't willing to meet you half way in showing interest. It's just not funny. Hit that dudes up and if he doesn't reply within a certain amount of time designated by you privately (your basic tolerance to waiting for a simple "yay or nay") then you file him away and move on.

    Scary%20Clown.jpg
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    Aug 15, 2011 5:32 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidLOL. There's not much you can do, buddy. You leave a message, text or whatever and just let it take it's course. If he decides to give you the silent & avoidance treatment then that's your cue to move on. If he decides to give you "run around" answers and naturally I would hope you wouldn't be cool with that then you move on.

    Beating around the bush with a question you already know the answer too based off of actions alone is not healthy. You keep on truckin' and find someone who will match your speed and stay consistent with it.

    Basically don't clown around with someone who isn't willing to meet you half way in showing interest. It's just not funny. Hit that dudes up and if he doesn't reply within a certain amount of time designated by you privately (your basic tolerance to waiting for a simple "yay or nay") then you file him away and move on.

    [clown]


    I wonder if I can send all of those guys who didn't write back to "the island of lost clowns". Well at least this clown is not as bad as the ones you've posted in the past...except the scary fingers.

    Still not as scary as Alex Forest though. That movie kept me up for days.
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    Aug 15, 2011 5:52 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidlove_quotes_graphics_c2-1.gif


    It's your what? icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 15, 2011 6:21 PM GMT
    Or my favorite version:

    "If you love somebody, set them free. If they don't come back, it's probably because they found someone better who didn't abandon them as some sort of relationship test, you manipulative freak."
    -unattributed
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    Aug 15, 2011 10:22 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidtumblr_ldfenb0vhP1qzpwi0o1_500.jpg


    YES
    <3