Homosexuality for Dummies

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 03, 2008 9:33 AM GMT
    As per suggestion of kreawiz, let's write a book! icon_biggrin.gif

    Chapter One
    How do you know if you're gay?


    1) You bought this book.
    2) That's pretty much it.

    _________________


    Chapter Two
    How to tell your friends you are gay.


    I turn the floor over to the more experienced members LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 03, 2008 1:11 PM GMT
    lol kreawiz, you're serious?!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 03, 2008 1:14 PM GMT
    You say this is me give them the book gift wrapped and say Im going out for a walk and shall be back in 10 minutes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 03, 2008 1:17 PM GMT
    bfg1 saidYou say this is me give them the book gift wrapped and say Im going out for a walk and shall be back in 10 minutes


    bfg! Use punctuation! *smack*! I can't make heads or tails of what that was about. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 03, 2008 1:21 PM GMT
    up yer bum
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 03, 2008 1:29 PM GMT
    bfg1 saidup yer bum


    WhooO! I lost my virginity to bfg! icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 03, 2008 4:44 PM GMT
    I love the "dummy" series of books. My favourite is "mutual funds for dummies." I have actually had to answer the question of "how do you know your gay" on a counselling phone line. I usually answer that you have sexual fantasies about men and only develop "crushes" on other guys and never women.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 03, 2008 9:20 PM GMT
    wouldn't the easiest way to let someone know you're gay be to simply leave a copy of this book laying around?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 03, 2008 9:29 PM GMT
    chapter 4: how to become gay...

    just have sex with a man or men if you are one yourself.icon_twisted.gif


    chapter 5: letting people know you are gay...

    always carry a big gay flag with you and have a drag queen at your side. (that's how I met my first boyfriend)icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 04, 2008 10:14 AM GMT
    kreawiz5 said

    Yeah,

    i am,

    though the intonation will be light and slightly humourous

    Surely, you could do it your way - i'm just suggesting - but you are the author, isn't it


    icon_eek.gif LOL, I'm a 22-year old closeted virgin! I NEED the book more than everyone else. ROFL

    Anyway how bout some contributions:

    Some Popular Gay Myths

    1) Gayness is contagious by close proximity - FALSE Gayness is an STD, you only become gay once you willingly have sex with a person of the same sex.

    2) Gay people have sex all the time - FALSE they have to sleep too, y'know.

    3) All Gays want to be women - FALSE some want to be girls.

    4) All Gays are are abominations according to the Bible - FALSE it only mentioned MEN lying with MEN as with Women. How do men lie with women? All the time. Lesson: Honesty is the best policy! icon_razz.gif

    5) Little Red Riding Hood was a lesbian - FALSE She was in fact bisexual.

    6) My Mom is fatter than Your Mom - FALSE Your mom was so fat she was classified by scientists as a Rorqual.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 04, 2008 10:20 AM GMT
    Can you guys add a chapter with lots of research on the "gay accent?" This is a subject that has always fascinated me. How, EXACTLY, does one "sound" gay? Vocabulary? Pronunciation? Intonation? Why does this happen? Cultural? Geographic? Is it patterned after something else? Moms? Popular cheerleaders? Madonna?

    I think there are lots of PhD theses in here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 05, 2008 8:10 AM GMT
    I've never read a 'Dummy' book.

    But one of my older sister, who has a masters in psychology, bought this book once. i think it was called 'How to Make Yourself Miserable'.

    It was so damn hilarious that it does the opposite and makes you feel good about yourself.

    That said, I don't want a nobel prize! I'm too busy planning the invasion of Earth! icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 05, 2008 12:48 PM GMT
    Sedative saidI've never read a 'Dummy' book.

    But one of my older sister, who has a masters in psychology, bought this book once. i think it was called 'How to Make Yourself Miserable'.

    It was so damn hilarious that it does the opposite and makes you feel good about yourself.

    That said, I don't want a nobel prize! I'm too busy planning the invasion of Earth! icon_twisted.gif


    Can I be your second in command? just let me have half of the world's cutest and hottest men, you can keep everything else.icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2008 10:07 AM GMT
    Per request of Professor iguanaSF, PhD:

    THE GAY LANGUAGE


    Since prehistoric times, gays always seem to speak a different language. In this chapter you will learn the ABC's of being gay... literally!

    History:

    In 1921, a spelunker named Chi Chi LaRue discovered the so-called Belami cave paintings in France. Found nearby were two fossilized skeletons of neanderthals in a 69 position, apparently killed by a sudden cave-in, and apparently both male. The immediate conclusion was that they were gay. What was interesting was the cave paintings. Artistically, it was little different from the other well-known cave-paintings of the Neolithic period such as those in France (especially in that big dank caverns called Lascaux and a darker cavern called Louvre) but in terms of subject it was markedly different.

    For example, there were no depictions of weapons of any kind. And it shows what seems to be only two people (both of them obviously male) in different idyllic scenes. Strolling hand in hand past two mammoths, chasing each other in a field of flowers and butterflies, talking to a couple of bunny rabbits, and a still puzzling scene which seems to show them inside what looks to be a tent at night doing something unknown. (Possibly churning the butter?)

    This lead to the conclusion by noted Paleoanthropologist Coco Chanel that this was a manifestation of the 'gay lingo' - a scientific term used to denote the still unexplained phenomena of the way homosexuals tend to develop a different way of speaking.

    Figure 1.0 A cave painting by a group of straight neanderthals.

    cavepaint2sh9.jpg

    Figure 1.1 The Belami cave paintings.

    belamitc3.jpg

    (...more to follow... add your own history as well! LOL)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2008 10:09 AM GMT
    metropolitan said

    Can I be your second in command? just let me have half of the world's cutest and hottest men, you can keep everything else.icon_cool.gif


    You have to prove your worth first. Invade your own country and turn it into a gay paradise, then I'll consider. icon_twisted.gif