What doesn't matter to you in atraction?

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    May 03, 2008 1:18 PM GMT
    I'm curious as to your ideas of what may not be an issue in what you find attractive in a guy. Specifically, things that are commonly listed as important (though not in a fetish way). I also don't mean absolutes but generalized.

    For me as examples of things that have virtually no bearing on hotness:
    Hair: color, quantity (bald or not).
    Height: 18 inches shorter or taller than I is irrelevant
    Race: 'nuff said.
    Religion: (or lack of it)
    Educational level: I distinguish this from intelligence. I've know idiots with PhD's and brilliant men with GED's.
    Style of attire: Trendy, conservative, cheap casual, continental, etc.
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    May 03, 2008 2:06 PM GMT
    You've pretty much summed it up for me as well. There's no cookie-cutter image of what I look for in a guy. Like when people ask me, "what's your type?". I always say, "Attractive" haha. Then people want to know what's attractive to me. Again, I don't have much of a response other than, "I'll know it when I see it". I look back on the guys that I've dated, and honestly they're all so different. They've all had varied traits from what you list.
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    May 03, 2008 2:08 PM GMT
    Money.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    OH, I crack me up

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    May 03, 2008 5:45 PM GMT
    For me, things that don't matter would include:

    religion (with the exception of fundamentalist born-agains - I can't go there)
    race / nationality
    geography (we can have two residences)
    children (I don't have any - and don't care if he does)
    finances (as long as he contributes somewhat, not an issue)
    sports (as long as he's in shape and lives clean)
    hair color, etc. (no preference - just clear it away from back and shoulders!)
    height/weight (just HWP please)
    educational level (as long as he's intelligent - fine with me).
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 03, 2008 7:33 PM GMT
    What don't matter to me...

    hair color
    hairy or smooth
    eye color
    Race

    Everything else is up for negotiationicon_wink.gif
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    May 03, 2008 7:52 PM GMT
    Hair color
    Head hair
    Eye color
    Education level; needs to be intelligent though
    Amount of shinies

    I would have to say weight isn't an overly strong criterion for me either. For me it's the general set of the man; by that I mean his build and face.

    Face like a mountain goat + body of Zeus = a mountain goat.

    I love a handsome man.. Well, I lust after them. icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 03, 2008 9:25 PM GMT
    Bgcat57, I love you man for breaking it down like this. I’ve been trying to tell these fools for years that sexual attractiveness has everything to with your ability to BRING IT! That means a hot, tight body, a gorgeous face (relative to whatever style of man you represent) and a freak quotient that’s off the scales!

    It has nothing to do with shade of hair colorant you choose to goop on your head today or any of those other non-sequiturs you’ve listed. They are all interesting elements that make up a person but don’t aid one’s ability to bring it on sexually. Or at least not that I’ve seen.

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    May 03, 2008 9:34 PM GMT
    i'm not particularly put off by:

    hair color

    eye color

    clothing brands

    economic status (so long as he has a job)

    hiv status (so long as he's healthy and managing his viral load with meds and regular check ups)

    religion (so long as his religion doesn't interfere with me or mine)

    maturity (excessive youth, however, annoys me)

    completed education (so long as he's smart)
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    May 04, 2008 12:03 AM GMT
    I'm interested that so many say educational level is unimportant but intelligence is.

    I had quite a few poorly educated boyfriends whom I liked to describe as "uneducated but very smart." I'm not talking about having a PhD; you have to be something of an idiot-savant to pursue one of those.

    But I would no longer agree that comparable educational level isn't preferable in a relationship. It made a huge difference in conversation, activities, places we traveled, etc., when I met my very well-educated present partner.

    Just saying.

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    May 04, 2008 12:13 AM GMT
    Religion, political views, hair, eye colour, finances. As long as the person was responsible, loving and not cruel or racist then he had a good chance of catching my interest.
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    May 04, 2008 12:15 AM GMT
    shoe insoles
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    May 04, 2008 12:18 AM GMT
    caslon saidshoe insoles

    Because you're focused on the heels, right?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 04, 2008 12:24 AM GMT
    I can't nail down what the difference is between a nice looking guy and an attractive guy.
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    May 04, 2008 12:57 AM GMT
    Eye color,
    color,
    religion,
    political views,
    Bald or not,
    finances. So long as he can afford for One to eat whatever I want off the menu; something One is used to.
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    May 04, 2008 1:54 AM GMT
    Hmmm... I must be more shallow than I thought. Apart from eye and hair colour I kept coming up with a "as long as he's not..." for each category. My past inexperiences with men have built up a profile of what I think won't work for me.

    That said, I would never rule out a guy simply because he was too short/too skinny/too queeny etc... attraction is random and it really comes down to the total package.

    The one definite is education level. I don't care that you have a MBA/PHD/Bach Bus... and you shouldn't care that I have nothing more than my high school certificate.

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    May 04, 2008 2:19 AM GMT
    If it's just simple attraction the door is pretty wide open. Developing something beyond that attraction is when some of these categories do begin to count. I guess three of the things that would never matter in the long run would be eye color, his taste in music, or where he grew up.
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    May 04, 2008 6:38 AM GMT
    What matters :

    Religion - It's just a turn off to have someone who belive and everything , someone who'll see the homosexuality as a sin.. even if he doesn't he'll has some bad feelings about doing it ...
    Besides , I'm a non-beliver and these too will never get a long..

    and intelligence .. stupid guys are a turn off
    period.

    what not is everything else
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    May 04, 2008 6:48 AM GMT
    For me, the things that dont matter too much are

    Religion (unless he seems to be extreme)

    Co-ordination (i'm a total clutz as well)

    Finance (as long as he has a decent job)

    Family (i tend to win over parents and siblings)

    Style (as long as he's not a slob(
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    May 04, 2008 7:42 PM GMT
    I know this is unusual for a gay guy, but I am going to head up my list with dick size and shape. I do not care if it is short, long, straight, bent, skinny or thick. I might even consider a guy who had his blown off in Iraq, although, he would have to make that up in another area (for example, an exceptional bum would be nice) since it would be a sacrifice to not be able to (well you know, this is not an adult forum, so you can use your imagination to complete this sentence).

    Hair colour and length (although, sorry it has to be clean, no Rastafarians or Sikhs, if they do not wash their hair)

    Race

    Religion (although we must have similar values)

    Educational level (this is a tough one because there probably is somewhat of a correlation but there must be exceptions to watch out for)

    Style

    Body Shape (although someone who is more than 20% over weight or a Mr. Universe type just does not make it for me)

    Hairy (but I might get turned off by an ape like man)
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    May 04, 2008 8:16 PM GMT
    Height, eye color, hair color
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    May 04, 2008 8:26 PM GMT
    For me, more things DO matter than DON'T matter. But the things that don't matter to me are:

    1) money/status
    2) fashion/style
    3) small stature

    I say "small stature" because most people seem to think that in matters of height, only being shorter than average is a drawback. For me, I'm less likely to be interested in someone taller than me. I have no idea why, but it's true.

    The things that do matter to me are maturity, education/intelligence, mannerisms (not feminine), character, a sense of humor and joviality, an easy smile, and an interest in physical fitness.
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    May 05, 2008 1:51 PM GMT
    What doesn't matter to me?

    BIG COCK.


    Really.


    I am a whore.
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    May 06, 2008 10:20 AM GMT
    Same problem as Ignorance. Whenever I think of some category there always seems to be a 'as long as he's not...' condition to it.

    I can still say though that Money and Status matter the least to me since I don't have both either. LOL.

    I'm ashamed to say pretty much everything else has varying degrees of importance to me. icon_sad.gif

    For example if you can't shoot an apple on top of my head blindfolded, I'd still like you, but ONLY if you aim the arrow 180 degrees away from me. ROFL
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    May 06, 2008 1:50 PM GMT
    Working off your list --
    Hair: Color and quantity I agree with, but cut is important to me. Generally, the shorter the better -- probably why I don't mind bald.
    Height: Agreed.
    Race: Actually, this one is quite important. However, as a white man, I prefer those who are not, so I guess that means I am not racist (or at least I am racist in a "good" way).
    Religion: I don't care about a guy's religion, but is important the he isn't a devout follower of any religion.
    Educational level: Agreed.
    Style of attire: Agreed.

    Adding a few of my own --
    Penis size: This one probably puts me at odds with most on here, but I really don't care, and if I had to make a choice, I would go with smaller.
    Body shape: Another one that probably separates me from other posters; I like a good body as much as the rest, but a little round is nice, too.