Funny, cute, strange, unique, or crude analogies you use in communications.

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  Aug 15, 2011 11:27 PM GMT

  I am known for some crude and NOT PC ones.....
  
  "...Jumpy as a whore in church!"
  "....slicker than snot"
  "...hotter than a half fucked fox in a forest fire!"
  "...drive it like you stole it!"
  
  
  List a few of you favs! Enjoy!

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  Aug 15, 2011 11:47 PM GMT

  "They're so soft, it's like walking in mud." -My first experience trying on a pair of Saucony...been wearing them ever since.
  
  "You're hotter than me...almost..." -Said by me to a super hot dancer, who I ended up sexing later that night.
  
  "Drunker than a preacher on vacation." -Me...now...
  
  "This thread makes about as much sense as an illegal Mexican engineer in Japan." -Me, about this thread.

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• JP85257
  
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  Aug 15, 2011 11:52 PM GMT

  Wetter than a bus load of fat girls going to watch Ricky Martin.
  Sweating like a fat girl in a Dairy Queen.
  Sweating like a Field Negro.
  Hornier than a 3-peckered billy goat.
  Dumber than a box of hair.
  Pissing off more people that 4 fat girls in the front of the line at Dairy Queen.
  Wetter than hurricane Katrina.
  
  
  I can go on and on and on......

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  Aug 16, 2011 12:14 AM GMT

  "sweating like a republican at a gay wedding."
  "tired as a fag's hole after gay pride."
  "nervous as a virgin bitch at a frat party"
  "busier than a two dollar ho on 2-for-1 tuesday"
  

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  Aug 16, 2011 12:18 AM GMT

  "colder than a witch's tit"
  
  "colder than a well digger's ass"
  
  "slower than molasses in January"
  
  "cuter than a bug's ear"
  
  "madder than a wet hen"
  
  "meaner than a wet rattlesnake"
  
  "nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs"
  
  "colder than an icicle hanging off Anne Coulter's cunt"

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  Aug 16, 2011 12:21 AM GMT

  You need [thing x] like a rat needs an ice cream cone.
  
  Yeah, and people in hell want ice water!
  
  I wouldn't piss up your ass if your guts were on fire.
  
  

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• Descamisado
  
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  Aug 16, 2011 2:52 AM GMT

  She's so ugly, peeping Toms reach inside and close her curtains.

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  Aug 16, 2011 4:19 AM GMT

  JP85257 saidWetter than a bus load of fat girls going to watch Ricky Martin.
  Sweating like a fat girl in a Dairy Queen.
  Sweating like a Field Negro.
  Hornier than a 3-peckered billy goat.
  Dumber than a box of hair.
  Pissing off more people that 4 fat girls in the front of the line at Dairy Queen.
  Wetter than hurricane Katrina.
  
  
  I can go on and on and on......

  
  
  Absolutely horrible. Absolutely horrible...

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  Aug 16, 2011 4:21 AM GMT

  dumb as a box of rocks.
  that went over like a fart in church
  

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• JP85257
  
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  Aug 16, 2011 5:26 AM GMT

  HaloJockNYC said

  JP85257 saidWetter than a bus load of fat girls going to watch Ricky Martin.
  Sweating like a fat girl in a Dairy Queen.
  Sweating like a Field Negro.
  Hornier than a 3-peckered billy goat.
  Dumber than a box of hair.
  Pissing off more people that 4 fat girls in the front of the line at Dairy Queen.
  Wetter than hurricane Katrina.
  
  
  I can go on and on and on......

  
  
  Absolutely horrible. Absolutely horrible...

  
  And you have heard me say almost all of these.

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  Aug 16, 2011 5:50 AM GMT

  JP85257 said

  HaloJockNYC said

  JP85257 saidWetter than a bus load of fat girls going to watch Ricky Martin.
  Sweating like a fat girl in a Dairy Queen.
  Sweating like a Field Negro.
  Hornier than a 3-peckered billy goat.
  Dumber than a box of hair.
  Pissing off more people that 4 fat girls in the front of the line at Dairy Queen.
  Wetter than hurricane Katrina.
  
  
  I can go on and on and on......

  
  
  Absolutely horrible. Absolutely horrible...

  
  And you have heard me say almost all of these.

  
  
  Unfortunately, I have. And many more.

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• aaronkei
  
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  Aug 16, 2011 6:56 AM GMT

  It's colder than a witches tit in a bronze bra...most laugh but that's really the only one i use

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  Aug 16, 2011 7:04 AM GMT

  How about:
  
  Sweating your tan off
  Sweating like a whore in church.
  or
  Sweating like a pregnant nun.
  
  
  For those that are supportive of something they should not be:
  "like roaches for Raid"
  
  
  
  

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  Aug 16, 2011 7:09 AM GMT

  "It was an oral orgasm"-When talking about food that tasted good.
  
  "Sex in a bowl"-sweet cereal
  
  [Insert offensive party] can suck my dick till I blow all over [insert correct pronoun] face. -when pissed about [insert piss-worthy topic]
  
  "busting with man juice/man milk"-when talking about the kind of pecs I desire

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  Aug 17, 2011 4:02 AM GMT

  "More pissed off than Rush Limbaugh with a fist full of Oxycontin and nothing to wash it down with"

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