Funny, cute, strange, unique, or crude analogies you use in communications.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 15, 2011 11:27 PM GMT
    I am known for some crude and NOT PC ones.....

    "...Jumpy as a whore in church!"
    "....slicker than snot"
    "...hotter than a half fucked fox in a forest fire!"
    "...drive it like you stole it!"


    List a few of you favs! Enjoy!icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 15, 2011 11:47 PM GMT
    "They're so soft, it's like walking in mud." -My first experience trying on a pair of Saucony...been wearing them ever since.

    "You're hotter than me...almost..." -Said by me to a super hot dancer, who I ended up sexing later that night.

    "Drunker than a preacher on vacation." -Me...now...

    "This thread makes about as much sense as an illegal Mexican engineer in Japan." -Me, about this thread. icon_cool.gif
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Aug 15, 2011 11:52 PM GMT
    Wetter than a bus load of fat girls going to watch Ricky Martin.
    Sweating like a fat girl in a Dairy Queen.
    Sweating like a Field Negro.
    Hornier than a 3-peckered billy goat.
    Dumber than a box of hair.
    Pissing off more people that 4 fat girls in the front of the line at Dairy Queen.
    Wetter than hurricane Katrina.


    I can go on and on and on......
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    Aug 16, 2011 12:14 AM GMT
    "sweating like a republican at a gay wedding."
    "tired as a fag's hole after gay pride."
    "nervous as a virgin bitch at a frat party"
    "busier than a two dollar ho on 2-for-1 tuesday"
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    Aug 16, 2011 12:18 AM GMT
    "colder than a witch's tit"

    "colder than a well digger's ass"

    "slower than molasses in January"

    "cuter than a bug's ear"

    "madder than a wet hen"

    "meaner than a wet rattlesnake"

    "nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs"

    "colder than an icicle hanging off Anne Coulter's cunt"
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    Aug 16, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    You need [thing x] like a rat needs an ice cream cone.

    Yeah, and people in hell want ice water!

    I wouldn't piss up your ass if your guts were on fire.

  • Descamisado

    Posts: 95

    Aug 16, 2011 2:52 AM GMT
    She's so ugly, peeping Toms reach inside and close her curtains.
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    Aug 16, 2011 4:19 AM GMT
    JP85257 saidWetter than a bus load of fat girls going to watch Ricky Martin.
    Sweating like a fat girl in a Dairy Queen.
    Sweating like a Field Negro.
    Hornier than a 3-peckered billy goat.
    Dumber than a box of hair.
    Pissing off more people that 4 fat girls in the front of the line at Dairy Queen.
    Wetter than hurricane Katrina.


    I can go on and on and on......


    Absolutely horrible. Absolutely horrible...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 4:21 AM GMT
    dumb as a box of rocks.
    that went over like a fart in church
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Aug 16, 2011 5:26 AM GMT
    HaloJockNYC said
    JP85257 saidWetter than a bus load of fat girls going to watch Ricky Martin.
    Sweating like a fat girl in a Dairy Queen.
    Sweating like a Field Negro.
    Hornier than a 3-peckered billy goat.
    Dumber than a box of hair.
    Pissing off more people that 4 fat girls in the front of the line at Dairy Queen.
    Wetter than hurricane Katrina.


    I can go on and on and on......


    Absolutely horrible. Absolutely horrible...

    And you have heard me say almost all of these.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 5:50 AM GMT
    JP85257 said
    HaloJockNYC said
    JP85257 saidWetter than a bus load of fat girls going to watch Ricky Martin.
    Sweating like a fat girl in a Dairy Queen.
    Sweating like a Field Negro.
    Hornier than a 3-peckered billy goat.
    Dumber than a box of hair.
    Pissing off more people that 4 fat girls in the front of the line at Dairy Queen.
    Wetter than hurricane Katrina.


    I can go on and on and on......


    Absolutely horrible. Absolutely horrible...

    And you have heard me say almost all of these.


    Unfortunately, I have. And many more.
  • aaronkei

    Posts: 211

    Aug 16, 2011 6:56 AM GMT
    It's colder than a witches tit in a bronze bra...most laugh but that's really the only one i use
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 7:04 AM GMT
    How about:

    Sweating your tan off
    Sweating like a whore in church.
    or
    Sweating like a pregnant nun.


    For those that are supportive of something they should not be:
    "like roaches for Raid"



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    Aug 16, 2011 7:09 AM GMT
    "It was an oral orgasm"-When talking about food that tasted good.

    "Sex in a bowl"-sweet cereal

    [Insert offensive party] can suck my dick till I blow all over [insert correct pronoun] face. -when pissed about [insert piss-worthy topic]

    "busting with man juice/man milk"-when talking about the kind of pecs I desire
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    Aug 17, 2011 4:02 AM GMT
    "More pissed off than Rush Limbaugh with a fist full of Oxycontin and nothing to wash it down with"