Hot straight friend

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2008 10:44 PM GMT
    This happened to me once and i hope it never happens to me again.

    What do you do when your infatuated with a straight friend? We were really close for a while, way too close when i think about iticon_redface.gif. I really sorta feel guilty but i didn't know what i was doing back then. I just sorta noticed i was attracted to him when he started working out and i went ballistic over him.

    we actually don't talk much anymore so im not too worried but im not sure what id do if it happened again.
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    May 03, 2008 11:38 PM GMT
    carthesis saidWhat do you do when your infatuated with a straight friend?
    I guess it depends on what you do with that infatuation. If it amounts intruding or forcing yourself on someone, then maybe you can get another friend to kick you in the nuts (well maybe just imagine it), because that is what it will feel like when it all goes badicon_evil.gif

    Really though, learning to let go of things that are unreasonable will go far in helping you find peace in life.
  • Tito88

    Posts: 14

    May 04, 2008 2:13 AM GMT
    Aww! It really stings when you like someone so much that you refuse to believe that it's completely one-sided. The best thing for it (for me) is to avoid, avoid, avoid them until you find someone else who can make you feel that way, and will reciprocate!

    So yeah, I know how you feel.
  • imperator

    Posts: 626

    May 04, 2008 7:01 PM GMT
    carthesis said[...]What do you do when your infatuated with a straight friend?



    One word: beer. Everyone knows straight men love their beer, and with enough beer they can discover that they love you, too, for supplying beer :-D

    Failing that,three alternative words: Ro hyp nol. icon_twisted.gif
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    May 04, 2008 10:22 PM GMT
    Oh when that happens I think of just one word.. just one, its a little one, very simple..

    friend

    Then I think, what do I not do to a friend..

    Fuck them over..

    and then I think, well, I'll be infatuated and enjoy it, I'll love them dearly and keep them in context until my emotions have had a time to settle and then I have an amazing mate who I want in my life and are extremely important to me!
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    May 04, 2008 10:32 PM GMT
    imperator said

    Failing that,three alternative words: Ro hyp nol. icon_twisted.gif


    thats a drastic solution. better be thinking how to spend your years in jail. lol
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    May 04, 2008 10:49 PM GMT
    I would move to another country, have plastic surgery, change my name and erase all evidence of my previous life. I mean, what else can you do for god's sake?
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    May 05, 2008 12:17 AM GMT
    I feel once for a guy who kept saying he was straight and has chosen (as far as I know) to live a straight life. He's an amazing man and honestly gives the best and logest hugs that I have ever experienced.

    However, I finally decided that even if one night he wanted to hook up (like his body language suggested) I wasn't interested.

    First it's not worth ruining a great friendship over a one night stand followed by his regrets. Plus, at my age, I really don't have time to convert anyone else. I'd rather spend my time focusing on someone who knows how to love me back without guilt, and doesn't want to keep me in the closet that I broke out of a few years back.

    My heart is worth too much!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 05, 2008 12:52 AM GMT
    It happens ... esp when you're young and new to being gay
    but it really is a dead end street

    it'll ruin a friendship
    make you heartsick and it's not fair to the str8 guy either

    makes about as much sense as slamming a car door on your hand
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    May 05, 2008 4:21 AM GMT
    Almost all of my male friends are straight. In college days I would go out with one of my best friends and we would get shit faced drunk, express our love for each other ("I love you, man") and pass out many times in the same bed. Not once did we go "there" sexually. As LilTanker expressed: there is a line, that if you truly value a friendship, you will not cross. Losing a truly good friend is like getting kicked in the nuts, only with the pain goes away with that. The loss of a friend can leave a terrible void in your life. The moral is learn and don't allow it to happen again.
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    May 05, 2008 4:38 AM GMT
    Alot of my friends are straight and alot of them are extremely hot but while they might be hot I know nothing will happen because I'm gay and they are straight. That's something you do have control over no matter how old you are.

    be stronger then your physical temptations otherwise you will ruin a friendship and usually it they don't end well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2008 6:15 AM GMT
    If I could bro, let me suggest you check out this forum:

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/158756/

    I 've posted my answer there and so have a lot of other guys, I am sure you might find some of the posts interesting and informative. Give it a shot, and best of luck to you.
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    May 05, 2008 7:42 AM GMT
    Back in the early 1990s, when I was in college, I knew a VERY handsome straight guy. He was sweet, nice, dark-haired, around my height, with a boy-next-door quality similar to actor George Eads (Nick Stokes on CSI: Las Vegas). I enjoyed the time him and I would have during those long in-between class breaks. Sure, I would love to stare into his gorgeous brown eyes, his handsome looks as if illustrated by Tom of Finland, and listening his rugged, breathy voice as he spoke in a moderately-paced tone. But my infatuation for him was over-shadowed by a genuine friendship interest and respect that we also had things in common politically, culturally, socially, and beyond.

    Even though this guy openly expressed having a cool gay roommate (can you believe back in the early '90s, gay-dom was still kinda taboo for a straight guy to discuss?), he had no shame in saying so. He knew who he is. Still, knowing he liked girls genuinely, I respected this and never made any uncomfortable overtures toward compromising an established friendship first grounded from being in a couple of classes.

    No, I never came out to him. I just didn't see the point at the time, and he never suspected. If he did, he wouldn't have kept pointing at pretty girls (to me) who would walk by to see if I was interested in pursuing. icon_biggrin.gif Sometimes, he would get up to go greet one of these girls. Eventually, one of them would wind up being his future wife. She was awfully beautiful. Reminded me of a cross between Grace Kelly and Natalie Portman.

    I won't deny I miss him because during that tumultuous time for me (hey, I was still coming out and coming to terms with myself), he was one of the very few genuine, sincere people I would ever meet -- qualities that disappeared once I graduated into the corporate world full of cheats, phonies, suck-up's, cronyism and nepotism -- where people feign to be your friends for their advantage.

    However, it's sometimes nice to think back to those days for me. In a time where I no longer date, thinking back reminds me that perhaps -- hopefully -- there are still good people out there without an ulterior agenda for their selfish gain, but openly enjoy just being in the company of someone they can relate to, have common ground with, and sincerely enjoy their time together. But the only difference is, both are gay and genuinely into one another.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2008 7:51 AM GMT
    I've always just let it go. If it happens, it happens; if it doesn't than we'd get over it, and each other... but since I'm coming from a place where there was too much drama going on with my 'straight' hot friends in high school, I'm a little disillusioned and indifferent.

    I just recommend to you what I recommend to everyone. Just be friends. Put little things like race, gender, religion, sexuality and political point of view aside. If you click and can tolerate the differences between you than you're set for life, but once you start splitting hairs it's time reevaluate your relationship, and that's never easy.
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    May 05, 2008 8:14 AM GMT
    cadudesf saidBack in the early 1990s, when I was in college, I knew a VERY handsome straight guy. He was sweet, nice, dark-haired, around my height, with a boy-next-door quality similar to actor George Eads (Nick Stokes on CSI: Las Vegas). I enjoyed the time him and I would have during those long in-between class breaks. Sure, I would love to stare into his gorgeous brown eyes, his handsome looks as if illustrated by Tom of Finland, and listening his rugged, breathy voice as he spoke in a moderately-paced tone. But my infatuation for him was over-shadowed by a genuine friendship interest and respect that we also had things in common politically, culturally, socially, and beyond.

    Even though this guy openly expressed having a cool gay roommate (can you believe back in the early '90s, gay-dom was still kinda taboo for a straight guy to discuss?), he had no shame in saying so. He knew who he is. Still, knowing he liked girls genuinely, I respected this and never made any uncomfortable overtures toward compromising an established friendship first grounded from being in a couple of classes.

    No, I never came out to him. I just didn't see the point at the time, and he never suspected. If he did, he wouldn't have kept pointing at pretty girls (to me) who would walk by to see if I was interested in pursuing. icon_biggrin.gif Sometimes, he would get up to go greet one of these girls. Eventually, one of them would wind up being his future wife. She was awfully beautiful. Reminded me of a cross between Grace Kelly and Natalie Portman.

    I won't deny I miss him because during that tumultuous time for me (hey, I was still coming out and coming to terms with myself), he was one of the very few genuine, sincere people I would ever meet -- qualities that disappeared once I graduated into the corporate world full of cheats, phonies, suck-up's, cronyism and nepotism -- where people feign to be your friends for their advantage.

    However, it's sometimes nice to think back to those days for me. In a time where I no longer date, thinking back reminds me that perhaps -- hopefully -- there are still good people out there without an ulterior agenda for their selfish gain, but openly enjoy just being in the company of someone they can relate to, have common ground with, and sincerely enjoy their time together. But the only difference is, both are gay and genuinely into one another.




    Wow. I'm amazed at this post. I could have written it word for word (although I may not have been able to write it as well as you have here). Without a doubt, this is one of the best pieces on this subject I have ever read. It speaks volumes for a lot of guys......who owe you a debt of gratitude for writing it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2008 1:57 PM GMT
    I always take the plunge of falling in love, whether the guy is straight or gay. Okay, I admit being bias to say that it's better for me to have my heart broken by a hot straight friend voluntarily.
    j.jpg
    Especially at the part when he introduces you as his "best mate" to his girlfriend.
    I mean, c'mon, even blind people would know I'm gay.
    carthesis- I do hope you're not in the habit of burning bridges as when friendship outweighs the attraction part, no matter how severe, nothing beats the joy of you two laughing at the thought of you falling for him. Now all the romantic thoughts about this guy just makes me cringe! LOL
    (edit)
    I found this too:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/73836/