Why do guys gotta get my hopes up...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 6:00 AM GMT
    I met a guy last night who I thought was feking gorgeous. Like his body was amazing. But I wasn't so much focused on that. He came up to me at the bar and approached me, introduced me to all his friends and said wonderful things about me. He also gave me his biz card. I mean, I genuinely thought he was a nice, single guy. I seen him before a few months ago...and I knew he was interested in me. So to see him again made me happy.

    Well, we were chatting for a bit tonight and at some point in the convo he tells me he is dating someone icon_confused.gif

    It's like I'm not mad because I just met him...but I'm jaded and disappointed by it.

    It's like the TV show, Movie type of scenario where the guy walks up to someone and they click instantly seems to be a fantasy! Not that I'm looking for that, but why is it that it cannot ever measure up to anything? It's always "I have a boyfriend, dating someone, etc"

    Well then, why did you come up to me then if you are involved? Excuse me while I grab a Kleenex icon_cry.gif

    Just seems like I'll be in this never-ending merry-go round forever. It's like someone comes along and I'm feeling positive for a day, but then they end up being like everyone else.

    When is it ever going to end? How many more times do I have to keep running into the same shit. I can't meet a truly single guy out there for the life of me icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 6:30 AM GMT
    you have experienced 90 % of the gay social life.

    Teasers, guys that get your hopes up and ultimately (not pertaining to this) flakes...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 6:45 AM GMT
    I'm just really heartbroken though...NOT.

    I know it sounds silly! but if you seen how fine this guy was you would be too. Just makes me want to fall on the floor and have a temper tantrum LOL.

    Oh well...it's just more motivation to remember that I need to get the fuck out of this town by next year anyway. Don't have to keep fucking dealing with this shit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 9:13 AM GMT
    Hey, you are cute and so damn hot! you won't have a problem to meet a good guy for you.
    Take it easy and enjoy the ride icon_biggrin.gif
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Aug 16, 2011 1:43 PM GMT
    Too many guys think just because someone approaches you they want to date or fuck you.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Aug 16, 2011 2:13 PM GMT
    Maybe he thought you were cool and wanted to be your friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 2:22 PM GMT
    "Well then, why did you come up to me then if you are involved?"


    When you find Love or Love finds you, are you going to stop meeting new people and making new friends? icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 2:33 PM GMT
    You, Fit4Fit, should really start to begin such general and repeated woe-is-the-gay-dating-scene-in-my-town threads with:

    "Dear Diary"...





    That is all.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 2:43 PM GMT
    It might be a very different story if you hit on guys you want rather than wait for them to hit on you.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Aug 16, 2011 2:51 PM GMT
    To be ultra-gay:

    "It's meeting the man of my dreams
    And then meeting his beautiful wife"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 2:54 PM GMT
    I would wait approximately 3 months (the average length of a gay relationship). In the meanwhile, be his "buddy" so he can come running to you when they breakup and then hopefully realize that you were what he was looking for all along.

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 3:22 PM GMT
    LOL. I think you got it backwards and got your own hopes up. They didn't do it intentionally. You just wear your heart on your sleeve and fall pretty easy for a pretty face it seems. Clearly this dude wasn't all that interested in you to begin with and maybe you mistook his interest for something that only you were feeling. Rookie mistake.

    When someone is really into you you'll definitely know it because it will be genuinely reciprocated and you won't have to guess. Seems you keep jumping to conclusions and assume dudes are just as interested in you as you are with them and more often then not it's never the case. Take a seat and just enjoy the moment and don't look so far into what appears to be a good thing because once again you got stuck holding a bag of despair.

    You're feelings keep getting the best of you. You should learn how be more in sync with them and control them. When they get away from you easily that is when you lose control will be most vulnerable. I'm not saying you should be stone cold but I am saying you should exercise better judgement before letting your emotions flutter around freely and letting them get your heart into trouble.

    A nice little lesson that serves a purpose. It's moments like this when rejection and miscalculated failure play big roles in building character and prepping you up to not be so easily downed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 3:41 PM GMT
    "Oh well...it's just more motivation to remember that I need to get the fuck out of this town by next year anyway. Don't have to keep fucking dealing with this shit."

    Moving isn't going to change a thing. You're issues will go with you no matter where you go. Try changing your attitude and you'll be happier and might find exactly who you are looking for.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 3:46 PM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver saidI met a guy last night who I thought was feking gorgeous. Like his body was amazing. But I wasn't so much focused on that.
    Uhh, yeah, and yet your first two sentences focused on nothing but looks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 3:53 PM GMT
    Just when I forgot how much it sucked being young and hot...You always remind me and I thank you for that.
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    Aug 16, 2011 3:59 PM GMT
    Be a good friend to him. Try just having a friendship with him... it might actually fill a little bit of the emptiness you seem to have inside you and are trying to fill with intimacy, expensive things, and numerous boys. Friendship can do wonders my friend... please try icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 16, 2011 5:30 PM GMT
    running11 saidBe a good friend to him. Try just having a friendship with him... it might actually fill a little bit of the emptiness you seem to have inside you and are trying to fill with intimacy, expensive things, and numerous boys. Friendship can do wonders my friend... please try icon_smile.gif


    Exactly this. Friendships are fucking amazing! I think most relationships should stem out of a friendship. My ideal dude is going to be my best friend. Not just my fuck buddy.

    So continue to be friends with this guy. Build a relationship out of it...and hey, who knows, maybe things will fall out with his current guy, and they will no longer be dating. And who would come next? Maybe that awesome dude who is always there for him and is such a great friend, right? icon_smile.gif
  • Rawrdo

    Posts: 343

    Aug 16, 2011 5:37 PM GMT
    running11 saidBe a good friend to him. Try just having a friendship with him... it might actually fill a little bit of the emptiness you seem to have inside you and are trying to fill with intimacy, expensive things, and numerous boys. Friendship can do wonders my friend... please try icon_smile.gif


    This. I know a lot of people are so hung up about meeting Mr.Right when in reality all that you really need to do is meet Mr. Right's friends. So get out there, make friends, have fun. Even if you don't find your guy for a while, at least you'll be busy having fun. If that's not a win-win situation I don't know what is.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Aug 16, 2011 5:47 PM GMT
    sounds like he might want a little on the side- and if this man of your dreams dated you-just know he gives that biz card and number out alot!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 5:54 PM GMT
    DavePhx1007 said"Oh well...it's just more motivation to remember that I need to get the fuck out of this town by next year anyway. Don't have to keep fucking dealing with this shit."

    Moving isn't going to change a thing. You're issues will go with you no matter where you go. Try changing your attitude and you'll be happier and might find exactly who you are looking for.


    This. He's going to have a shitty attitude no matter where he lives so he best get used to bad, albeit self-inflicted, experiences everywhere.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 5:54 PM GMT
    Oh yes this happens plenty. Not too long ago a guy chatted me up all night and even went in for the goodnight kiss when we parted. The next day he tells me he has a boyfriend. Oh COOL!

    I think they think with their dicks that night. Then in the morning they have the chance to think with their minds.
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    Aug 16, 2011 5:59 PM GMT
    I probably should have explained a bit more...it wasn't just a friendly "hey how are you" approach. Like he literally had me wrapped in his arms to the point I glanced to the side and people were fixated on us like it was ridiculous. Hewas trying to get me to go back to his place that night, but I didn't end up doing so because I got his text like 30 minutes or an hour later around 2:30 and by that time I was already home.

    I mean I'm open to friends and all but that's not the vibe that was being given off.

    When he said he was dating someone, I said, "oh you are? I thought you were a shy single guy who was looking to get to know me more".

    You don't tell a guy, "I NEVER give anyone my number or go to ANYONE I'm shy. But you are hot icon_smile.gif" but then say the next day, "I'm dating someone". That's head games.

    _SAGE_ saidYou, Fit4Fit, should really start to begin such general and repeated woe-is-the-gay-dating-scene-in-my-town threads with:

    "Dear Diary"...





    That is all.



    If you don't like what I have to say, then stop listening to what I have to say. Rather than talking shit, come at me with some alternatives then. You saying what you saying not making any difference in the conversation, just talking crap. So shutup. You way the fuck out in London...which I would be happy to be at. You don't know what the fuck I go thru living out here. The shit that I have to deal with on a week to week basis.
  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Aug 16, 2011 6:04 PM GMT
    KSUOWLI think they think with their dicks that night. Then in the morning they have the chance to think with their minds.


    Are they kind of like Gremlins, in that you're not supposed to feed them after midnight?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 6:07 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidIt might be a very different story if you hit on guys you want rather than wait for them to hit on you.


    Trust me...it does not make a difference! In fact it's just the opposite. Usually when I hit on a guy they have a boyfriend, are married, have kids, girlfriend, wife, just broke up, still dating someone, not sure, open relationship etc. the list goes on.

    But I still initiate stuff with guys from time to time. I'm not the one to sit on the sidelines and watch. That night I chatted to about 4-5 guys, 1 of whom I seen at my barbershop the other week. I wasn't trying to hit on him, nor all of them...but I'm just outgoing like that where I don't mind talking to a bunch of people.
  • ATXnative

    Posts: 240

    Aug 16, 2011 6:09 PM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver saidI met a guy last night who I thought was feking gorgeous. Like his body was amazing. But I wasn't so much focused on that. He came up to me at the bar and approached me, introduced me to all his friends and said wonderful things about me. He also gave me his biz card. I mean, I genuinely thought he was a nice, single guy. I seen him before a few months ago...and I knew he was interested in me. So to see him again made me happy.

    Well, we were chatting for a bit tonight and at some point in the convo he tells me he is dating someone icon_confused.gif

    It's like I'm not mad because I just met him...but I'm jaded and disappointed by it.

    It's like the TV show, Movie type of scenario where the guy walks up to someone and they click instantly seems to be a fantasy! Not that I'm looking for that, but why is it that it cannot ever measure up to anything? It's always "I have a boyfriend, dating someone, etc"

    Well then, why did you come up to me then if you are involved? Excuse me while I grab a Kleenex icon_cry.gif

    Just seems like I'll be in this never-ending merry-go round forever. It's like someone comes along and I'm feeling positive for a day, but then they end up being like everyone else.

    When is it ever going to end? How many more times do I have to keep running into the same shit. I can't meet a truly single guy out there for the life of me icon_neutral.gif


    I'm betting he looked at your forum post listings on rj and thought, dang what a drama bomb.