Anyone else embarrassed to tell people they're gay when first introduced? Also, anyone feel more comfortable telling women they're gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 12:59 PM GMT
    Even though it's often a guy I'll never meet again, I find it awkward.
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    Aug 16, 2011 1:06 PM GMT
    erm no.

    Although it's not like I walk up and go Hi I'm Gay, Names Ben hahaha but it the topic naturally comes around to women and if I have a girlfriend I got no concern telling someone I'm gay.
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    Aug 16, 2011 1:22 PM GMT
    Why would you tell someone you're gay when you're being introduced to them?

    That's ridiculous.
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    Aug 16, 2011 1:24 PM GMT
    I don't tell people I'm gay when I first meet them. Not for shame but I don't think it's the most important thing to know about who I am. I let them know whenever it's appropriate. That may be sometime within our first meeting or sometime down the road once we really know one another.
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    Aug 16, 2011 1:31 PM GMT
    Its not like I introduce myself with a sash and tiara on that reads: "GUESS WHAT? I'm gay".

    Being gay is PART of who I am, its not all of who I am.

    If it comes up, it comes up. If I speak of my partner in conversation, i dont then go "oh yes... he's a man, and I am too. We're gay homosexuals together.". LOL.

    I just let people make their own assumptions. If they ask (and 99% of the time they don't). The only time when someone is going to make a 'big deal' out of it.. is if you do.

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    Aug 16, 2011 1:35 PM GMT
    Anyone else embarrassed to tell people they're gay when first introduced? Also, anyone feel more comfortable telling women they're gay?

    Would you be surprised to know how seldom that issue arises during the ordinary introductions I usually experience? And how totally irrelevant it normally is?

    As for who's easier to tell, I can't recall finding it one way or the other. On the rare occasions I told someone outright it was because it was appropriate & relevant, if not essential, and so their gender was not important to me. Like this new physician I'm seeing. I told him immediately because I felt it's important to my medical history. And also so that my partner be identified as having full authority & involvement with my treatment, which has happened as a result.
  • vintovka

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    Aug 16, 2011 1:38 PM GMT
    If it comes up I prefer to drop it in with something like "yeh, my ex loved that game, he'd play it for hours." If we're all aiming for a world where being gay is no big deal, why not start acting as if it's not a big deal now?
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    Aug 16, 2011 1:40 PM GMT
    If I'm asked, I have no embarrassment saying yes...unless it's a guy I'm interested in, then I'll say no until we're in private. That way he knows I'm "safe" to be with on the DL.
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    Aug 16, 2011 1:45 PM GMT
    vintovka saidIf it comes up I prefer to drop it in with something like "yeh, my ex loved that game, he'd play it for hours." If we're all aiming for a world where being gay is no big deal, why not start acting as if it's not a big deal now?

    Similarly, I usually "tell" people it by mentioning my partner... And the "need" to mention him does not usually arise upon first meeting someone.

    Art_Deco saidWould you be surprised to know how seldom that issue arises during the ordinary introductions I usually experience? And how totally irrelevant it normally is?

    +1
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    Aug 16, 2011 1:49 PM GMT
    i dont get a choice. my best friend introduces me as his friend who likes to give it to guys in the ass
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    Aug 16, 2011 1:50 PM GMT
    No on both counts.
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    Aug 16, 2011 2:42 PM GMT
    I used to be, but I never care anymore. Anytime it kinda comes up, I tell the people. Its funny because a year ago I cared so much and didn't want anyone to know. Now I tell anyone and it doesn't phase me
  • iHavok

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    Aug 16, 2011 2:45 PM GMT
    stone66 saidi dont get a choice. my best friend introduces me as his friend who likes to give it to guys in the ass


    Your friends sound like fun.
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    Aug 16, 2011 2:45 PM GMT
    I have found it easier telling women but I did tell my two closest guy friend and they were both fine with it. As far as anyone else I don't tell I thinks its on a need to know thing. I don't think the whole world needs to know.
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    Aug 16, 2011 2:47 PM GMT
    Nope. Makes things much easier for me. I love seeing the look of disappointment on their face when faces when they realize they can't have me. Mwahahahahaha.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Aug 16, 2011 2:48 PM GMT
    A little, but like people have stated previously, I don't go "Name's Buddha, and I'm gay". But usually I can pretty easily slip it in, for example, if someone says they like SF4 I can usually say something like "Oh yeah my boyfriend's pretty good at that game" (on an additional account, I suck at the game).
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    Aug 16, 2011 2:49 PM GMT
    I usually "out" myself. One time I was walking with a bunch of classmates to our cars, and I noticed a friend of mine who I havent seen in a while. I ran and gave him a hug. When I caught up to my friends, then they asked and said "I didnt know you were gay until..."

    Or I'll have a picture of my bf on my phone's wallpaper. Or I'm listening to Justin Bieber in the car.
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    Aug 16, 2011 2:52 PM GMT
    no if the conversation goes there ill tell them
  • musclepuppy

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    Aug 16, 2011 3:19 PM GMT
    Not really. Like others said, I don't go out of my way to talk about it but if someone asks questions like "Are you seeing someone?", they'll find out pretty quick icon_lol.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 16, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    I find it a little offensive. I don't care if I was single or what. If I was introduced with my name, maybe what I do for a living and "he's gay".

    Not the same kind of thing, but almost as offensive as if I were a man or woman who was divorced and I was introduced that way.... I think I should be introduced simply as "Chris", maybe what I do for a living and "he would enjoy meeting others" which is true, whether I'm gay, single or what....
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    Aug 16, 2011 3:29 PM GMT
    swimguychicago saidEven though it's often a guy I'll never meet again, I find it awkward.


    It never comes up when I meet people. Why on earth would it?

    If you feel the need to insert that into the introduction conversation I hope you're also telling them your political party, what side of the bed you like most, and your favorite color.

    Seems like a bizarre question to me.

    I worked with my colleagues at my company for four months before they ever noticed because the subject of relationships hadn't come up. I wasn't hiding it, I just didn't need to announce it anywhere.

    Having it come up in a first meeting (or first month) with anybody seems like you may be feeling a need to make a point or something.
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    Aug 16, 2011 4:57 PM GMT
    I agree with the girl thing

    and I also thought the same way when it came to my sexuality but the truth of the matter is you don't have to, I use to think that in order for acceptance and trust i had to introduce my sexuality along with myself.

    But sexuality is something that's just a part of you... For example, I'm also a brother, son, athlete etc. but I would never really include this in an introduction of myself. So why include my sexuality?

    We are made up of many parts, plus how many heteros have you met that have introduced themselves as straight...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2011 4:57 PM GMT
    Does anyone else have friends that purposely 'out' you in front of people?

    I feel like some of my friends have done that to me on purpose.

    I'm not sure if this bothers me or not because it does tell everyone who hears that I am gay for me but at the same time its like why does that matter? Does it make them look better?

    I rarely talk about it unless certain subjects come up and are directed at me then I'll tell them. I don't want to feel like I push the subject on people but I'm definitely not afraid of it.

    Besides their reactions are always amusing.

    You get the;

    "Oh really? Well its OK. icon_smile.gif "

    or the

    "You know I have a gay friend/relative(s) and their mad cool!"

    or how about

    "Are you sure? Have you ever dates a woman? You don't know what your missing."

    LOL

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    Aug 16, 2011 5:01 PM GMT
    vintovka saidIf it comes up I prefer to drop it in with something like "yeh, my ex loved that game, he'd play it for hours." If we're all aiming for a world where being gay is no big deal, why not start acting as if it's not a big deal now?


    ^^This. Usually, the first time people find out I'm gay (if they already haven't figured it out) is when I nonchalantly refer to my ex as "he". I'm not one to shove it in people's faces, but I'm not exactly going to go out of my way to hide it.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Aug 16, 2011 5:04 PM GMT
    vintovka saidIf we're all aiming for a world where being gay is no big deal, why not start acting as if it's not a big deal now?


    ^^^ Exactly ^^^I would find it sort of strange if someone said "Hi I'm______ and I'm gay". I never announce the fact. Why would I? If someone asks I will tell them and I'm certainly not embarrassed by it, but even asking right off meeting someone would seem strange depending on the setting.