Would you wait for a guy to make time for you if he was hella cool?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2011 6:00 PM GMT
    Ok, so heres to me trolling the dating/friendship board. Was looking for advice from all y'all.

    So there is this guy, who lives in LA, and we met on Grindr (I live in SF) and he seems really cool. He is 6'1", 216lbs, bodybuilder, massive muscles/arms/body, really fucking nice, half latino/half Asian (which makes him a total hottie in my eyes) and he says the sweetest fucking shit to me all the time. Like today, he told me that every time he closes his eyes he see's my handsome face, and When we meet again I cant wait to hold your hand, yadda yadda, all that crap that makes me melt.

    Here is the thing though, he is so fucking busy its hard for us to make time to see each other. I mean he is a consultant so I understand that when the work is there, the work is there and you just have to take it, but at the same time its been about a month since I last saw him, the last time I saw him was for a day (because he had to leave early, long story). So, here is my question for you guys, how long would you wait for "your man" to get his shit together and come fuck you...I mean go on a date with you? For the love of god, he has asked me to not sleep with other people, I said yes, and am going fucking crazy here!

    Advice please.

    And no, dont ask for pics, Im not giving them to you.
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    Aug 17, 2011 6:14 PM GMT
    do what you think, dont let others tell you what should be done.
  • jasen202

    Posts: 42

    Aug 17, 2011 6:45 PM GMT
    I wouldn't like the feeling of being in a subordinate position, not given priority status. Being told not to see other guys for 1 month now, if it was real it has to be much sooner for me.
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    Aug 17, 2011 7:05 PM GMT
    johnnydssa saidI wouldn't like the feeling of being in a subordinate position, not given priority status. Being told not to see other guys for 1 month now, if it was real it has to be much sooner for me.


    Yea this is where my thoughts were too. I mean I understand his position and all, he is latino so very passionate and doesnt want to share me. Thats hot. On the flip side, it is a very new relationship, but if he doesnt make me a priority Im going to find someone who will. Its kind of as simple as that. Maybe I should just tell him that...
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    Aug 17, 2011 7:12 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    johnnydssa saidI wouldn't like the feeling of being in a subordinate position, not given priority status. Being told not to see other guys for 1 month now, if it was real it has to be much sooner for me.


    Yea this is where my thoughts were too. I mean I understand his position and all, he is latino so very passionate and doesnt want to share me. Thats hot. On the flip side, it is a very new relationship, but if he doesnt make me a priority Im going to find someone who will. Its kind of as simple as that. Maybe I should just tell him that...



    Just means you are a total booty call.
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    Aug 17, 2011 7:13 PM GMT
    Aggieboy said
    Chainers said
    johnnydssa saidI wouldn't like the feeling of being in a subordinate position, not given priority status. Being told not to see other guys for 1 month now, if it was real it has to be much sooner for me.


    Yea this is where my thoughts were too. I mean I understand his position and all, he is latino so very passionate and doesnt want to share me. Thats hot. On the flip side, it is a very new relationship, but if he doesnt make me a priority Im going to find someone who will. Its kind of as simple as that. Maybe I should just tell him that...



    Just means you are a total booty call.


    Thats a very expensive booty call...especially considering no booty has been gotten by anyone so far...
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    Aug 17, 2011 7:15 PM GMT
    Aggieboy said

    Just means you are a total booty call.


    Agree. And there is nothing wrong with that, if you're ok with it. But you cannot think this is more than it is. Hundreds of miles away, little time for each other. I don't care how romantic he is electronically; if the relationship can't develop IRL a little, than it's not going to be much more than a hookup. Make sure your expectations are realistic and don't set yourself up to be disappointed. Which it sounds like you are, at least a little. icon_neutral.gif
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    Aug 17, 2011 7:21 PM GMT
    torrentprime said
    Aggieboy said

    Just means you are a total booty call.


    Agree. And there is nothing wrong with that, if you're ok with it. But you cannot think this is more than it is. Hundreds of miles away, little time for each other. I don't care how romantic he is electronically; if the relationship can't develop IRL a little, than it's not going to be much more than a hookup. Make sure your expectations are realistic and don't set yourself up to be disappointed. Which it sounds like you are, at least a little. icon_neutral.gif



    Yup it's too late for the OP, hes gone to the deep end.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Aug 17, 2011 7:24 PM GMT
    he's not your man. he's just a dude you hung out with a few times and lives a distance that is greater than most states. the fact that he asked you to be exclusive is stupid, and the fact that you agreed is even more stupid. you basically seem desperate for a guy because he's attractive and nice. the reality check is that you barely see this guy and you don't have a long history with him, but you're acting as if you do.
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    Aug 17, 2011 7:28 PM GMT
    calibro saidhe's not your man. he's just a dude you hung out with a few times and lives a distance that is greater than most states. the fact that he asked you to be exclusive is stupid, and the fact that you agreed is even more stupid. you basically seem desperate for a guy because he's attractive and nice. the reality check is that you barely see this guy and you don't have a long history with him, but you're acting as if you do.


    Yes I know Ive barely seen this guy, I mean we have been talking since may or something.

    Why are you so angry?

    Im not in love with this man or anything I just wanted others opinions...thats all...

    On a side note when did I say he was my man...
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    Aug 17, 2011 7:32 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    calibro saidhe's not your man. he's just a dude you hung out with a few times and lives a distance that is greater than most states. the fact that he asked you to be exclusive is stupid, and the fact that you agreed is even more stupid. you basically seem desperate for a guy because he's attractive and nice. the reality check is that you barely see this guy and you don't have a long history with him, but you're acting as if you do.


    Yes I know Ive barely seen this guy, I mean we have been talking since may or something.

    Why are you so angry?

    Im not in love with this man or anything I just wanted others opinions...thats all...

    On a side note when did I say he was my man...



    And he gave you his opinion and you shot it down. You shot mine down also. Looks like you are seeking someone to tell you to move in with this guy, I mean come on. I'm latino also so I know his schemes icon_twisted.gif

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    Aug 17, 2011 7:34 PM GMT
    Aggieboy said
    Chainers said
    calibro saidhe's not your man. he's just a dude you hung out with a few times and lives a distance that is greater than most states. the fact that he asked you to be exclusive is stupid, and the fact that you agreed is even more stupid. you basically seem desperate for a guy because he's attractive and nice. the reality check is that you barely see this guy and you don't have a long history with him, but you're acting as if you do.


    Yes I know Ive barely seen this guy, I mean we have been talking since may or something.

    Why are you so angry?

    Im not in love with this man or anything I just wanted others opinions...thats all...

    On a side note when did I say he was my man...



    And he gave you his opinion and you shot it down. You shot mine down also. Looks like you are seeking someone to tell you to move in with this guy, I mean come on. I'm latino also so I know his schemes icon_twisted.gif



    Im taking everything that is said in. Cabrilo seemed to be angry with his response, no idea why. It is possible that he just wants to have sex with me (and I would love that the mans body rocks) but still, I highly doubt he wants to fly all the way up just to bang me. He does live in WeHo so he would have plenty of options...
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    Aug 17, 2011 7:34 PM GMT
    Revenge time on chainers for all the forum tolling he does icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 17, 2011 7:38 PM GMT
    wolverinecub86 saidRevenge time on chainers for all the forum tolling he does icon_razz.gif


    I swear Im going to cut you...
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Aug 17, 2011 7:41 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    calibro saidhe's not your man. he's just a dude you hung out with a few times and lives a distance that is greater than most states. the fact that he asked you to be exclusive is stupid, and the fact that you agreed is even more stupid. you basically seem desperate for a guy because he's attractive and nice. the reality check is that you barely see this guy and you don't have a long history with him, but you're acting as if you do.


    Yes I know Ive barely seen this guy, I mean we have been talking since may or something.

    Why are you so angry?

    Im not in love with this man or anything I just wanted others opinions...thats all...

    On a side note when did I say he was my man...


    i'm not angry; you're just projecting. honestly, i'm just giving you my two cents and i could care less what you do. if you think straight talk sounds like anger, you're probably on the defensive considering that we've never really spoken before, you're trying to ascertain tone from a thread, and there's nothing in my post that has that sort of outright diction. yes, i'm blunt, but not angry.

    i never said you were in love with him. i think i implied you're infatuated with him in an unreasonable/unhealthy manner given the circumstances. that's my opinion.

    and i never said that you said he was your man. i was just making that point clear because in many ways your behavior seems to be based as if he were even though he's not (consider it a difference of what your brain knows that your heart won't listen to).

    in short, don't be butt hurt by my opinion.
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    Aug 17, 2011 7:43 PM GMT
    calibro said
    Chainers said
    calibro saidhe's not your man. he's just a dude you hung out with a few times and lives a distance that is greater than most states. the fact that he asked you to be exclusive is stupid, and the fact that you agreed is even more stupid. you basically seem desperate for a guy because he's attractive and nice. the reality check is that you barely see this guy and you don't have a long history with him, but you're acting as if you do.


    Yes I know Ive barely seen this guy, I mean we have been talking since may or something.

    Why are you so angry?

    Im not in love with this man or anything I just wanted others opinions...thats all...

    On a side note when did I say he was my man...


    i'm not angry; you're just projecting. honestly, i'm just giving you my two cents and i could care less what you do. if you think straight talk sounds like anger, you're probably on the defense considering that we've never really spoken before, you're trying to ascertain tone from a thread, and there's nothing in my post that has that sort of outright diction. yes, i'm blunt, but not angry.

    i never said you were in love with him. i think i implied you're infatuated with him in an unreasonable/unhealthy manner given the circumstances. that's my opinion.

    and i never said that you said he was your man. i was just making that point clear because in many ways your behavior seems to be based as if he were even though he's not (consider it a difference of what your brain knows that your heart won't listen to).

    in short, don't be butt hurt by my opinion.


    my butt will hurt when and where I damn well please.

    Im just gonna keep it real with him, if he wants to keep sending me things great but until then its just words.

    Grindr here I come!
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    Aug 17, 2011 7:44 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    wolverinecub86 saidRevenge time on chainers for all the forum tolling he does icon_razz.gif


    I swear Im going to cut you...


    Healing factor bitches!


    Wolverine.JPG
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    Aug 17, 2011 7:45 PM GMT
    wolverinecub86 said
    Chainers said
    wolverinecub86 saidRevenge time on chainers for all the forum tolling he does icon_razz.gif


    I swear Im going to cut you...


    Healing factor bitches!


    Wolverine.JPG


    lol...win...
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    Aug 17, 2011 7:55 PM GMT
    Well he seems hot by the way you described him, but is it really worth keeping your panties on for until he want to dig in there. Not to be negative but he could be doing "things" on the side. And its been a month?icon_eek.gif Congrats on that.
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    Aug 17, 2011 8:01 PM GMT
    Don't waste time on people who won't waste time on you.

    Weird that he would ask for you to not sleep with anyone else in this circumstance...
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    Aug 17, 2011 8:54 PM GMT
    I just think you

    A) MET ON GRINDR

    B) AREN'T A PRIORITY.

    Why make him a priority, AND not do your own thing when he clearly doesn't make you a priority nor do you really know what he's doing on the side.

    I've found guys like that tend to "want their cake and eat it too"- meaning he wants to know and be assured that YOU'RE not doing anything on the side and that YOU'RE "behaving" but he doesn't want to stop doing those things himself. Yeah he's busy and ppl do get busy- that's life, but I don't think you should stop your whole life for him.

    I'm gonna say this in the nicest, most respectful, genuine way I can (so as to not get you all bitchy like you get- but from your post I sense):

    you're looking/acting desperate

    And desperation does not attract other guys nor is it a good look on you. You have to have the I-Don't-give-a-fuck attitude.... that's basically an air about you that gives off the vibes that, where there's 1 there's 10 more, and if he REALLY wants it, he'll make sure he's #1 and the ONLY 1.

    That's how I roll- if my man isn't acting right or treating me like shit, it's where there's 1 guy there's 10 more that want it so he better man the fuck up and act right...

    it's about confidence dear. Don't be desperate. Be confident... ooze confidence with him and he'll keep coming back and coming back and coming.

    oh... and don't give up the cookies too soon ;)
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    Aug 17, 2011 8:55 PM GMT
    hope that helps icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 17, 2011 8:56 PM GMT
    It seems everyone is too busy for shit these days...The way i look at it, is if they can't make time for you within a reasonable time frame, then they really arent that interested. If i really like someone, I can make time for them no problem.
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    Aug 17, 2011 8:56 PM GMT
    running11 saidI just think you

    A) MET ON GRINDR

    B) AREN'T A PRIORITY.

    Why make him a priority, AND not do your own thing when he clearly doesn't make you a priority nor do you really know what he's doing on the side.

    I've found guys like that tend to "want their cake and eat it too"- meaning he wants to know and be assured that YOU'RE not doing anything on the side and that YOU'RE "behaving" but he doesn't want to stop doing those things himself. Yeah he's busy and ppl do get busy- that's life, but I don't think you should stop your whole life for him.

    I'm gonna say this in the nicest, most respectful, genuine way I can (so as to not get you all bitchy like you get- but from your post I sense):

    you're looking/acting desperate

    And desperation does not attract other guys nor is it a good look on you. You have to have the I-Don't-give-a-fuck attitude.... that's basically an air about you that gives off the vibes that, where there's 1 there's 10 more, and if he REALLY wants it, he'll make sure he's #1 and the ONLY 1.

    That's how I roll- if my man isn't acting right or treating me like shit, it's where there's 1 guy there's 10 more that want it so he better man the fuck up and act right...

    it's about confidence dear. Don't be desperate. Be confident... ooze confidence with him and he'll keep coming back and coming back and coming.

    oh... and don't give up the cookies too soon ;)


    Wow everyone is making me glad I slept with that cop when he propositioned me now.

    yea I told him I would wait but you know what? Im 24 years old, I have way to many suitors as is.

    Thanks for the help running! Ill cut you less now!

    And just as a side note to everyone, he said that he doesnt want me to see anyone else and I said OK, not that I would agree to it, so thank you for making me feel like less of a dick for fucking around.
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    Aug 17, 2011 9:16 PM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Chainers saidOk, so heres to me trolling the dating/friendship board. Was looking for advice from all y'all.

    So there is this guy, who lives in LA, and we met on Grindr (I live in SF) and he seems really cool. He is 6'1", 216lbs, bodybuilder, massive muscles/arms/body, really fucking nice, half latino/half Asian (which makes him a total hottie in my eyes) and he says the sweetest fucking shit to me all the time. Like today, he told me that every time he closes his eyes he see's my handsome face, and When we meet again I cant wait to hold your hand, yadda yadda, all that crap that makes me melt.

    Here is the thing though, he is so fucking busy its hard for us to make time to see each other. I mean he is a consultant so I understand that when the work is there, the work is there and you just have to take it, but at the same time its been about a month since I last saw him, the last time I saw him was for a day (because he had to leave early, long story). So, here is my question for you guys, how long would you wait for "your man" to get his shit together and come fuck you...I mean go on a date with you? For the love of god, he has asked me to not sleep with other people, I said yes, and am going fucking crazy here!

    Advice please.

    And no, dont ask for pics, Im not giving them to you.

    Who are you and what have you done with the real Chainers????


    The real chainers has been crushed and is now an emotional fragile shell of his former self ;-(.

    boys suck, Im going back to girls.