Openly gay vs. outwardly gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 1:54 PM GMT
    Or openly bi vs. outwardly bi as the case may be.

    Which one are you? Is one better than the other? Are outwardly gay guys harmful or helpful to the cause.

    Discuss.icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 2:19 PM GMT
    What does an outwardly gay person look or act like?

    What does an outwardly bi person look or act like?

    Before any discussion about the harmful effects to some cause, should your perceptions be more clear?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 2:21 PM GMT
    TroyAthlete saidOr openly bi vs. outwardly bi as the case may be.

    Which one are you? Is one better than the other? Are outwardly gay guys harmful or helpful to the cause.

    Discuss.icon_cool.gif


    To avoid confusion, let's define our terms. "Openly", I assume means that you share your orientation with others, as appropriate. You'll mention the gender of partners/dates, etc. Can you explain what "outwardly" means?

    Thanks!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 2:22 PM GMT
    alexander7 saidWhat does an outwardly gay person look or act like?

    What does an outwardly bi person look or act like?

    Before any discussion about the harmful effects to some cause, should your perceptions be more clear?


    I see what you did there, haha.

    No, I don't want to 'poison' the discussion with my own perceptions. I'm fishing for other views here. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 2:22 PM GMT
    what does outwardly mean?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 2:25 PM GMT
    Troy,
    alexander7 asked a very good question. How can we answer unless we decide, possibly quite wrongly, what you mean by outwardly?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 2:28 PM GMT
    I'm going to assume "outwardly" means that many or most people perceive the person to be gay without self-disclosure. I think that's fine.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Aug 18, 2011 2:30 PM GMT
    I dont get it, sorry.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 2:31 PM GMT
    Sartre saidI'm going to assume "outwardly" means that many or most people perceive the person to be gay without self-disclosure. I think that's fine.


    OR it can be aggressively rubbing it in others' faces, like at work etc.

    OR it can be making sexual advances or alluding to sexual appetites, like at work etc.

    Just three examples.


    Please clarify, Troy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 2:35 PM GMT
    im going with inward bi pre op transexual. Did I win?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 2:38 PM GMT
    Well it seems to me he means by openly gay someone who is comfortable with his sexuality and is out with everyone but does not appear to be gay unless you ask him. He doesn't shy away from he's sexuality if confronted about it but doesnt where it on he's sleeve and may feel as Michael Jackson says, it its just another part of me.

    By outwardly gay I assume he means someone who is obviously gay without even asking. Someone who exhibits so called typical gay behaviour and may actively exhibit such behaviour for all to see. The person may not even be obviously gay but may seem to make their life all about it in day to day interactions with other people whether gay, straight, bi or whatever because he feels this makes up a very big part of who he is and how he defines himself.

    This is just how I see it but correct me if I'm wrong.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Aug 18, 2011 2:43 PM GMT
    alexander7 saidWhat does an outwardly gay person look or act like?

    What does an outwardly bi person look or act like?

    Before any discussion about the harmful effects to some cause, should your perceptions be more clear?
    what's the difference?
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Aug 18, 2011 2:44 PM GMT
    arieschild saidWell it seems to me he means by openly gay someone who is comfortable with his sexuality and is out with everyone but does not appear to be gay unless you ask him. He doesn't shy away from he's sexuality if confronted about it but doesnt where it on he's sleeve and may feel as Michael Jackson says, it its just another part of me.

    By outwardly gay I assume he means someone who is obviously gay without even asking. Someone who exhibits so called typical gay behaviour and may actively exhibit such behaviour for all to see. The person may not even be obviously gay but may seem to make their life all about it in day to day interactions with other people whether gay, straight, bi or whatever because he feels this makes up a very big part of who he is and how he defines himself.

    This is just how I see it but correct me if I'm wrong.
    Now, I know the difference thanks aries.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 2:45 PM GMT
    Assuming that "outwardly" gay means recognizable as gay without disclosure...

    I'm not sure two are that related that you can put a "vs" between them. Apples and oranges if you ask me.

    Comparing them is just fishing for a value judgment.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 2:48 PM GMT
    i'm assuming openly gay means those who are close in your life - (family and friends), know.

    while outwardly, is supposed to mean that you shout it outloud and let everyone know, friend and stranger alike. correct me if i'm wrong.

    as for my views... i think that people should be who they want to be. I often see many become ridiculed for not wanting to go out to gay clubs, have only gay friends, and not want to do 'gay things'. I myself find a hard time juggling between what i truly want to do, and my being social and conforming to the idea of what i 'should' do. I would find myself openly gay, while some others seem more outwardly gay. I have no problem for whichever one decides, not that its set it stone, there are variances in between i'm sure, but no one should be looked down upon for being either, or their views on what they should or should not be.

    not sure if that made any sense.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 2:50 PM GMT
    tuffguyndc said
    arieschild saidWell it seems to me he means by openly gay someone who is comfortable with his sexuality and is out with everyone but does not appear to be gay unless you ask him. He doesn't shy away from he's sexuality if confronted about it but doesnt where it on he's sleeve and may feel as Michael Jackson says, it its just another part of me.

    By outwardly gay I assume he means someone who is obviously gay without even asking. Someone who exhibits so called typical gay behaviour and may actively exhibit such behaviour for all to see. The person may not even be obviously gay but may seem to make their life all about it in day to day interactions with other people whether gay, straight, bi or whatever because he feels this makes up a very big part of who he is and how he defines himself.

    This is just how I see it but correct me if I'm wrong.
    Now, I know the difference thanks aries.


    You're welcome Tuff
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 2:50 PM GMT
    arieschild said He doesn't shy away from he's sexuality if confronted about it but doesnt where it on he's sleeve and may feel as Michael Jackson says, it its just another part of me.



    THIS!! too often must i tell people.. Yes i am gay, its only a part of me.. it doesn't define me!
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Aug 18, 2011 2:56 PM GMT
    One being himself is best. Straight-acting which is my interpretation of openly gay in terms of the op's question is overrated. I want someone who doesn't feel the need to put on a show whether it be a flaming show or a frat show. Both are equally not my cup of tea. Just be a person. Don't focus so much on boxes and judging people.

    This question is rather ridiculous in purpose. Are you trying to show that rjers prefer guys over glitter? No f$&@ing duh! That's all people spout off about on here in these type questions. What is the point of beating, stomping, and gutting the proverbial dead horse?

    I'll save others some time. The ones that are most stable care the least and represent the full spectrum of butch to fem. Those that are going to jump in and start calling out the opposite side of the spectrum are the self haters and oftentimes other haters who, unless you match in hate and want someone to validate your discomfort, are really not dream men. The bullied become the bullies.

    DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT, NOT WHAT OTHERS WOULD WANT OF U!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 3:05 PM GMT
    what an absolute wank of a question icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 3:12 PM GMT
    It's always best to live the way you are comfortable. In my opinion this means to be proud of what you are in therms of sexuality as well as any other aspect of your personality.
    If I got the question right, you are asking if it is better to just be gay in an open and blunt way or play on both fields and try to keep up some straight act for the community? If this is the question - than the first one is definitely better in my opinion icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 3:16 PM GMT
    arieschild saidWell it seems to me he means by openly gay someone who is comfortable with his sexuality and is out with everyone but does not appear to be gay unless you ask him. He doesn't shy away from he's sexuality if confronted about it but doesnt where it on he's sleeve and may feel as Michael Jackson says, it its just another part of me.

    By outwardly gay I assume he means someone who is obviously gay without even asking. Someone who exhibits so called typical gay behaviour and may actively exhibit such behaviour for all to see. The person may not even be obviously gay but may seem to make their life all about it in day to day interactions with other people whether gay, straight, bi or whatever because he feels this makes up a very big part of who he is and how he defines himself.

    This is just how I see it but correct me if I'm wrong.


    For the purposes of this thread, I think this is an excellent way to define the difference, although I think several gay men I know might fall somewhere in the middle, the area between those two distinct boxes.

    However, using those criteria, what about the last question asked by the OP? Are outwardly gay guys harmful or helpful to the cause? My opinion is that both openly and outwardly gay men are helpful to the cause, if the cause is equal human rights for gays.

    Then, what about the bi guys? If you substituted bi for gay in arieschild's definitions what would be the result? I am not sure that is very clear.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 3:17 PM GMT


    How is this not clear, Openly gay means anyone who knows you knows you are gay.

    Outwardly gay means even walking down the street, paying for something in the shops or talking on the phone, leaves people with no doubt that you are gay.

    Simple.

    I would describe myself as openly gay
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 3:21 PM GMT
    I only wear rainbow colored clothing with glitter-filled depictions of gay porn all over it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 3:22 PM GMT
    zsocerstar said
    arieschild said He doesn't shy away from he's sexuality if confronted about it but doesnt where it on he's sleeve and may feel as Michael Jackson says, it its just another part of me.



    THIS!! too often must i tell people.. Yes i am gay, its only a part of me.. it doesn't define me!


    I know what u mean its the same here, its probably because most peoples perceptions of a gay man is based on what they see in the media.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 18, 2011 3:53 PM GMT
    I think I understood the OP's intent right from the start. "Openly" vs. "outwardly" isn't really a black-and-white distinction of outward qualities as much as it is intent of personality.

    When I think of someone who is "outwardly" gay, I think of someone who deliberately tries to call attention to the fact that they're gay. This can happen either through deliberate mannerisms or choice of words, or by being deliberately letcherous toward another male regardless of the other male's intent (i.e. hitting on anything with a penis).

    Personally, I live my life as "openly" gay. I do not hide the fact that I am gay when asked, or when it's appropriate in conversation, nor do I hide the fact that I'm married to another man. However, I mention these things only when it's appropriate in conversation, much like a straight person would mention their spouse if the subject called for it.

    That does not mean that most people don't have me pegged five minutes after meeting me. When you talk to me, it's pretty obvious which team I bat for, but that does not mean that I call attention to myself deliberately. I think it's very possible to live a life as "openly" gay without tripping anyone's gaydar, but that just doesn't apply to me in this case.