I broke up with my boyfriend

  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Aug 18, 2011 1:58 PM GMT
    Me and my boyfriend have been dating close to three months and I can honestly say that I love him. We have such a good time together, I love his smile and eyes and he turns me on completely. Unfortunatly we've had some rough troubles lately. Mainly they are made up of fighting over little things. I admit I can get bothered over small stuff and me being jealous with comments he makes (like telling a guy on FB he's hot or things of that nature).
    I love him and I know that he loves me. He's my second boyfriend and the first guy I ever slept with. but He was on vacation and I had not seen him for over a week. Another issue we've had is he does not like to burden me with his issues. I've told him I love him and I want to be there for him no matter what. He says he grew up in a family where people did not talk about their worries.
    The last few days have been very tough. I've been a mess on and off and miss him so much. I went to his house to pick up some things and when talking to him had to use all my energy to fight the tears, he was smiling, but was clearly sad too. When I asked him if he thinks breaking up is good he said we need space and should see what happens later. I sadly agree.
    Right now I'm taking some me time to decide what I want and more importantly what I need. Honestly I'm torn since I really love him, but I don't know if we can work out our issues. Sorry to bore your with my drama, but I just needed to let it out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2011 2:13 PM GMT

    "He says he grew up in a family where people did not talk about their worries."

    And yet, this can be one of the most amazing things about a wonderful in-love relationship. You are each other's touchstone. Out there, all the storms of the world. In here, in love, strength, warmth and someone else. Perhaps that's really what you're looking for and need.

    Some, on the other hand, find this same thing claustrophobic. It's not about right or wrong, but compatibility I think.

    -Doug
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    Aug 18, 2011 2:13 PM GMT

    Whoops, almost forgot!

    *GIANT HUGS*

  • Aug 18, 2011 2:18 PM GMT
    well babe i broke up with mine too... i have news for you if you are dating someone only 3 months and he is telling someone else they are HOT on another site... i dont care if it is facebook or whatever.. dump his butt... this guy has issues and is not ready for a boyfriend and is not capable. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING BY ENDING IT... IT WOULD ONLY GET WORSE..AND YOU WOULD ONLY HURT MORE IN THE END. sorry about your breakup... fyi.. i let mine go 9 months... it was wrong from the begiining.. this guy was always looking and checking things out.. then wanting three ways..and i have news for you.. these "open relationships" are nonsense.. why bother being in a relationship with someone if you open it up.. GET A ROOM MATE! good luck!
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    Aug 18, 2011 2:23 PM GMT
    If the "little things" are really little, then maybe you're not really comfortable with your decision. But are they really little things to you, or do you have certain expectations that were not met? If you did have these expectations, did you convey them clearly?
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    Aug 18, 2011 2:24 PM GMT
    Hotgrkmodelguy saidwell babe i broke up with mine too... i have news for you if you are dating someone only 3 months and he is telling someone else they are HOT on another site... i dont care if it is facebook or whatever.. dump his butt... this guy has issues and is not ready for a boyfriend and is not capable. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING BY ENDING IT... IT WOULD ONLY GET WORSE..AND YOU WOULD ONLY HURT MORE IN THE END. sorry about your breakup... fyi.. i let mine go 9 months... it was wrong from the begiining.. this guy was always looking and checking things out.. then wanting three ways..and i have news for you.. these "open relationships" are nonsense.. why bother being in a relationship with someone if you open it up.. GET A ROOM MATE! good luck!



    " Are you ok?" Lends a sympathetic ear-- You are hot!icon_neutral.gif- icon_sad.gif I mean Hope all is working out for you!(Hits on the single hottie) icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 18, 2011 2:25 PM GMT
    `

    Come on, arguments are all part of good relationship.

    The amount of times we're had packed bags at the door over the years before we saw sense.

    Anyone who has no arguments is either lying or their relationship hasn't got the substance to warrant them!
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    Aug 18, 2011 2:27 PM GMT
    cookingitsweet said Me and my boyfriend have been dating close to three months and I can honestly say that I love him. We have such a good time together, I love his smile and eyes and he turns me on completely. Unfortunatly we've had some rough troubles lately. Mainly they are made up of fighting over little things. I admit I can get bothered over small stuff and me being jealous with comments he makes (like telling a guy on FB he's hot or things of that nature).
    I love him and I know that he loves me. He's my second boyfriend and the first guy I ever slept with. but He was on vacation and I had not seen him for over a week. Another issue we've had is he does not like to burden me with his issues. I've told him I love him and I want to be there for him no matter what. He says he grew up in a family where people did not talk about their worries.
    The last few days have been very tough. I've been a mess on and off and miss him so much. I went to his house to pick up some things and when talking to him had to use all my energy to fight the tears, he was smiling, but was clearly sad too. When I asked him if he thinks breaking up is good he said we need space and should see what happens later. I sadly agree.
    Right now I'm taking some me time to decide what I want and more importantly what I need. Honestly I'm torn since I really love him, but I don't know if we can work out our issues. Sorry to bore your with my drama, but I just needed to let it out.


    Hey man! I understand what you are going through.. I realize thatmost gay men are looking for something and they don't know what the hell it is! they are gonna spend their entire lives looking for it. blame it on magazines - gyms and the media.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Aug 18, 2011 2:28 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear that man. If it's meant to be it will end up happening but I think you guys both have issues that you need to work on. You, with jealousy and him with his flirting.
    I used to be a really jealous person but it was because I felt insecure about myself as an individual. Now I'm not saying that's why you get jealous, but that's how it was with me.
    Sorry again about the break up. Hugs
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    Aug 18, 2011 2:32 PM GMT
    Cooking,

    First let me say I'm sorry for your loss of the BF. It's always sad when to men can't make it work. In the 3 months that you were together what did you really know about him. If he comes from a family where no body talks...you really don't know him. What person do you think you fell in love with.

    The bedrock of any relationship is clear and open communication and if you don't have that, then the relationship like a "House Cards" one sudden move and it falls down. Now what you can do is focus on thing goods about the relationship and not repeat the bad in your next relationship.

    This is prolly done. Because if your former bf does not work on his issues and you yours, chances of you guys making it work a second time is not likely.

    The changes that either of you make has to be for you not the other person.

    Good Luck.



  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 18, 2011 2:33 PM GMT
    sorry ya'll split up! better to find out now than later, though.

    only 3 months is not too bad...try investing over 3 years into a love affair and then start wondering about him........

    icon_sad.gif
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    Aug 18, 2011 2:34 PM GMT
    Getting bothered over small stuff, annoyed that he pays someone a compliment on FB, and being upset that he keeps some of his issues to himself..... No offense, but you do seem to be rather high maintenance.
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    Aug 18, 2011 2:45 PM GMT
    cookingitsweet said Another issue we've had is he does not like to burden me with his issues. I've told him I love him and I want to be there for him no matter what. He says he grew up in a family where people did not talk about their worries.



    I will say, from experience, that I am this type of person also. I have found it to be harder to stay in a relationship because of it, but it is who I am and no matter how much I try to open up to other people it just isn't me or isn't enough.
    I have always been a great listener, but I try not to sweat the little things and my partners always think that I don't share because I am not being open or honest. It is more the fact I don't think a lot of things are big enough issues to share/bother people with. It is something I try to work on, but I need to find the right/understanding person for me.

    Just my two cents on that, but good luck and sorry to hear things aren't working out the way you would like. They will get better, with or without the current guy.
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    Aug 18, 2011 2:45 PM GMT
    seriously three months? get a grip and deal with it
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    Aug 18, 2011 2:50 PM GMT
    Three months is a very short time.
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    Aug 18, 2011 2:54 PM GMT
    Sorry about the break up...All I can say is move one and things will get better in time.

    Although I must say in three months you guys looked like you invested three year into it..icon_lol.gif
  • wild_sky360

    Posts: 1492

    Aug 18, 2011 3:01 PM GMT
    It's a healthy attitude to realize when things aren't going to work out, even when you love someone. I can speak from experience that you can continue to love him as a friend, while pursuing a relationship with someone more compatible long term. It only works if both of you acknowledge what went wrong or was always wrong from the beginning.
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    Aug 18, 2011 3:04 PM GMT
    rnch saidsorry ya'll split up! better to find out now than later, though.

    only 3 months is not too bad...try investing over 3 years into a love affair and then start wondering about him........

    icon_sad.gif


    Absolutely.
    Being with someone from a family that doesn't talk and confide in one another would be a red flag for me.
    There are secrets and there are secrets. People are known to fight over little things, it's being kept in the dark about real important things that should never be. Now you've given yourself the opportunity to find someone more compatible and deserving of your love.

    Hugs cookingitsweet.
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    Aug 18, 2011 3:07 PM GMT
    Three months isn't a long time, but it's long enough to develop a strong infatuation that feels like deep love if the chemistry is there. It hurts no matter how long its been if you really have a thing for someone.

    As far as telling other guys on facebook that they're hot. At three months this is probably a red flag unless you all had already developed boundaries and understanding for these sorts of things.

    *Hugs* Keep your head up. icon_smile.gif




  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 18, 2011 3:08 PM GMT
    cookingitsweet said but He was on vacation and I had not seen him for over a week.



    Well sorry you and you boyfriend look to have ended your relationship. I'm sure it hurts and hope you can either work it out or at least remain friends.
    Always hard to go through something like that....

    Give it some time. With experience and some reasonable thinking.. and some work, make your relationships work. Sometimes you don't see your boyfriend or partner for a week (er or longer, especially if its a long distance relationship!) Lots of trust is required and good communication and quality time is key to the development of that trust.

    Best of luck and again, sorry for the breakup!
  • mybud

    Posts: 11836

    Aug 18, 2011 3:30 PM GMT
    Dude.....While going through a break up you'll go through several phrases..hurt...anger....then healing....Take this time to figure out what's best for you......Grow and learn from this past relationship....Turn negatives into positives....Time heals man...seriously....Lastly reach out to friends and family...even this site for support....All the best....BUD
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Aug 18, 2011 3:40 PM GMT
    You will likely look back on this and realize that this relationship was merely a stepping stone to the next one. You take a little something from each relationship that makes you stronger and wiser and better equipped for later relationships. Perhaps next time you won't be so quick to throw in the towel. On the other hand, it appears that relationship had run it's course. Good luck in the healing process.
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    Aug 18, 2011 4:07 PM GMT
    I call guys like you "very single". Romantic in their minds but cant really live with someone else. It's supposedly a new problem at colleges too where students who were only children or never had to share anything can't share dorm space. You are never going to find someone compatible because "others" are different from you by definition. You need to have the ability to maintain your own space independent of others.
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    Aug 18, 2011 5:00 PM GMT
    first of all you have got to stop getting mad over little things, thats one of the things that make a relationship crumble, another, respect his way of thinking. dont try to change him, it will only end badly. like seriously take a chill pill and take things easy.
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    Aug 18, 2011 5:10 PM GMT
    If these are issues that you cannot resolve then taking things further isn't such a good idea. Take a break and see if it brings you guys closer or take you farther apart.