Bisexuals: Do You See Yourself Ultimately Settling Down With a Woman or a Man?

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    Aug 19, 2011 5:52 AM GMT
    Gay men are very wary of dating a bisexual man seriously. Why? Because they're afraid he'll leave him for a woman.

    This is understandable. A woman offers many things a gay man cannot. 'Normalcy', biological children, social acceptance, equal rights, and the general American dream of a white picket fence, two kids and a dog. And having your parents glad you're choosing a girl over some fag is a plus too.

    It seems like the logical choice to make.

    And what gay man hasn't heard the tale of a gay friend who had a relationship with a bisexual man...to only have him leave him for a woman and get married.

    "Thanks for the gay fun! But it's time to grow up and get real, ya know!"

    Is this an accurate stereotype? Or is it bullocks?

    Questions to Bisexual Men of RealJock!

    1) Do you see yourself ultimately ending up with a woman or a man? Will it be a conscious choice where you're actively looking a long-term partner of particular gender?

    2) If you see yourself ending up with a woman, why do you feel this way?

    3) Do you feel gay men have justified fears of entering a serious relationship with a bisexual man? Or are they just displaying unfounded prejudices?


    Thanks to all who answer!
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    Aug 19, 2011 5:54 AM GMT
    FinalHeaven86 saidBisexuals face alot of prejudice and discrimination. Not only from straight people but also from some gay people too.


    NO SHUT UP THIS THREAD HAS BEEN MADE FIVE BILLION TIMES ALREADY WE GET IT YOU LIKE GUYS AND GIRLS.

    On a side note: President Harding coined the word "Normalcy" when he meant to say "Normality" but no one was audacious enough to point this out and instead incorporated it into the dictionary. Oh history lol
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    Aug 19, 2011 6:02 AM GMT
    Actually, I'm gay.

    What was the general consensus of the answer?

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    Aug 19, 2011 6:04 AM GMT
    FinalHeaven86 said
    What was the general consensus of the answer?


    I'm guessing the answer is the same as with the "why don't white people find Asians/Black people attractive" and "Israel vs Palestine." Countless thoughtless flame war threads and in the end no one cared about the issue anymore except for 5 people.
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    Aug 19, 2011 9:20 AM GMT
    Well, I read the other thread and it didn't really delve into this question I'm asking.

    I'm not asking if bisexuality is real (it is....) or if bisexuals are more or less likely to be monogamous (they're as likely to be monogamous as anyone else who is gay or straight...) but what gender they see themselves ultimately ending up with?

    Everyone imagines who they'll marry and grow old with.

    For bisexual men on this forum, is it a woman or man?

    And is it an intended plan or just a framework of a possibility.

    I know a bisexual man who is actively dating gay men and is 70% into men and about 30% into women.

    But he said outright "I will marry a woman when I'm ready to settle down."

    Why?

    He loves kids. And a gay man can't get pregnant.

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    Aug 19, 2011 11:00 AM GMT
    My bf is bisexual and it is always a worry in the back of my mind that one day he would leave me to be with a woman instead, as I know he wants children and obviously that's the one thing I can't give.

    We can go down the adoption/surrogacy route but if that proved to be too difficult or not possible for whatever reason, or I realised that it wasn't what I wanted after all, then I wouldn't blame him for leaving. He did say if we couldn't or it didn't work out for whatever reason then he'd still want to be with me, but I don't know if I would let him, if I thought I couldn't make him happy/fulfilled. I don't think it would be fair.

    So I can definitely understand why a lot of bisexual guys like to play around with men but end up with women. Though I also think a lot get married to a woman but still play with men - fine if the wife is cool with it, I guess.
  • jlly_rnchr

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    Aug 19, 2011 11:09 AM GMT
    I thought the bi stereotype swung the other way..."bisexual men always end up being full-fledged gay at some point"
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    Aug 19, 2011 11:09 AM GMT
    JakeBenson saidCountless thoughtless flame war threads and in the end no one cared about the issue anymore except for 5 people.


    Yes please let this thread be dead and buried.

    (I'm a bisexual male and I refuse to answer any more of this)
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    Aug 19, 2011 11:09 AM GMT
    JakeBenson saidCountless thoughtless flame war threads and in the end no one cared about the issue anymore except for 5 people.


    Yes please let this thread be dead and buried.

    (I'm a bisexual male and I refuse to answer any more of this)
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    Aug 19, 2011 11:10 AM GMT
    Pure saidMy bf is bisexual and it is always a worry in the back of my mind that one day he would leave me to be with a woman instead, as I know he wants children and obviously that's the one thing I can't give.

    We can go down the adoption/surrogacy route but if that proved to be too difficult or not possible for whatever reason, or I realised that it wasn't what I wanted after all, then I wouldn't blame him for leaving. He did say if we couldn't or it didn't work out for whatever reason then he'd still want to be with me, but I don't know if I would let him, if I thought I couldn't make him happy/fulfilled. I don't think it would be fair.

    So I can definitely understand why a lot of bisexual guys like to play around with men but end up with women. Though I also think a lot get married to a woman but still play with men - fine if the wife is cool with it, I guess.


    And because of such an answer, I now make a vow never to date a bisexual man all through my life.. I want a family and children to raise with my husband and for that to happen, there has to be a husband from the start.
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    Aug 19, 2011 1:01 PM GMT
    Atreides said
    Pure saidMy bf is bisexual and it is always a worry in the back of my mind that one day he would leave me to be with a woman instead, as I know he wants children and obviously that's the one thing I can't give.

    We can go down the adoption/surrogacy route but if that proved to be too difficult or not possible for whatever reason, or I realised that it wasn't what I wanted after all, then I wouldn't blame him for leaving. He did say if we couldn't or it didn't work out for whatever reason then he'd still want to be with me, but I don't know if I would let him, if I thought I couldn't make him happy/fulfilled. I don't think it would be fair.

    So I can definitely understand why a lot of bisexual guys like to play around with men but end up with women. Though I also think a lot get married to a woman but still play with men - fine if the wife is cool with it, I guess.


    And because of such an answer, I now make a vow never to date a bisexual man all through my life.. I want a family and children to raise with my husband and for that to happen, there has to be a husband from the start.


    I'm not sure why you reached that conclusion from what I put - you can raise children with a bisexual man, it's just that they would probably find it easier to be with a woman.
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    Aug 19, 2011 2:24 PM GMT
    Pure said
    Atreides said
    Pure saidMy bf is bisexual and it is always a worry in the back of my mind that one day he would leave me to be with a woman instead, as I know he wants children and obviously that's the one thing I can't give.

    We can go down the adoption/surrogacy route but if that proved to be too difficult or not possible for whatever reason, or I realised that it wasn't what I wanted after all, then I wouldn't blame him for leaving. He did say if we couldn't or it didn't work out for whatever reason then he'd still want to be with me, but I don't know if I would let him, if I thought I couldn't make him happy/fulfilled. I don't think it would be fair.

    So I can definitely understand why a lot of bisexual guys like to play around with men but end up with women. Though I also think a lot get married to a woman but still play with men - fine if the wife is cool with it, I guess.


    And because of such an answer, I now make a vow never to date a bisexual man all through my life.. I want a family and children to raise with my husband and for that to happen, there has to be a husband from the start.


    I'm not sure why you reached that conclusion from what I put - you can raise children with a bisexual man, it's just that they would probably find it easier to be with a woman.


    Exactly... So, I'll just let them be with a woman (take the easy path) for mine is the difficult option.
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    Aug 19, 2011 3:50 PM GMT
    OP, I find this offensive. You're basically saying that all bisexuals will inevitably cheat. Aren't gay men just as likely to cheat on each other with other men? Gender has nothing to do with monogamy. That just comes down to moral character.

    Furthermore, my parents just want me to meet someone that will make me happy. They don't care if it is "a girl over some fag" or not.

    I have a question about one of your questions though:

    "1) Do you see yourself ultimately ending up with a woman or a man? Will it be a conscious choice where you're actively looking a long-term partner of particular gender?"

    Is falling in love a "conscious choice"?
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    Aug 19, 2011 4:46 PM GMT
    I like blacks, whites, Asians, Latinos, and any other race or ethnic group that produces attractive guys.

    Asking a bisexual which gender he's going to settle down with makes about as much sense as asking me what race or ethnic group I'm going to settle down with.
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    Aug 19, 2011 5:34 PM GMT
    LeanVA saidOP, I find this offensive. You're basically saying that all bisexuals will inevitably cheat. Aren't gay men just as likely to cheat on each other with other men? Gender has nothing to do with monogamy. That just comes down to moral character.



    That's not the question at all.

    As, I stated this isn't about monogamy or cheating.

    Bisexuals are as likely to be monogamous as a gay man or straight man. Orientation has nothing to do with it.

    It's about whether as a bisexual man which gender do you ultimately see yourself settling down with?

    Everyone has a fantasy of the type of person they want to marry and grow old with.

    Is it is beautiful princess or a prince charming?

    LeanVA said
    Is falling in love a "conscious choice"?


    To my understanding, some bisexuals (like the testimony of my friend) do 'direct' their inclinations toward the gender of their preference when it comes to settling down.

    Could he fall in love with a person of a gender he ultimately didn't see himself with? Sure absolutely.

    But when looking for a husband or wife, they often just exclusively 'hunt' for a mate of their preferred gender.
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    Aug 19, 2011 5:37 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI like blacks, whites, Asians, Latinos, and any other race or ethnic group that produces attractive guys.

    Asking a bisexual which gender he's going to settle down with makes about as much sense as asking me what race or ethnic group I'm going to settle down with.


    Not entirely. Race is a social construct which shouldn't effect the direction of your life.

    Gender on the other hand ultimately plays a hand on whether you'll have biological children, face social stigma or acceptance or being citizen with second-class or equal rights.

    It's naive to think that ending up with a man or woman is the same as ending up with an African American or Caucasian.

    Completely different.
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    Aug 19, 2011 5:48 PM GMT
    FinalHeaven86 said
    paulflexes saidI like blacks, whites, Asians, Latinos, and any other race or ethnic group that produces attractive guys.

    Asking a bisexual which gender he's going to settle down with makes about as much sense as asking me what race or ethnic group I'm going to settle down with.


    Not entirely. Race is a social construct which shouldn't effect the direction of your life.

    Gender on the other hand ultimately plays a hand on whether you'll have biological children, face social stigma or acceptance or being citizen with second-class or equal rights.

    It's naive to think that ending up with a man or woman is the same as ending up with an African American or Caucasian.

    Completely different.


    Not entirely, gender is a social construct which shouldn't effect the direction of your life if you are bi.

    Race, on the other hand, ultimately plays a hand on whether you will be accepted by society as a whole. Whether you like it or not, there are still people out there who disagree with interracial marriage and couples.

    Its niave to think differently.

    Congratulations, you did it. I didnt even think it was possible, FinalHeaven86, you made the dumbest post on RJ to date. Yes, you of all the people did it.

    I have talked with many bi men and women as of recently and they all tell me the exact same thing, they fall in love with the person and not the gender.

    Want to know why the bi guy ended up with a girl? 91% of women are going to be attracted to him, as opposed to 9% chance with a guy. More women = higher percentage.

    Yes, you are a dipshit.

    Thank you and good night.
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    Aug 19, 2011 5:48 PM GMT
    With a man because communication with a man is much simpler than with any woman hah.
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    Aug 19, 2011 5:50 PM GMT
    Animator saidWith a man because communication with a man is much simpler than with any woman hah.


    Ive heard this many a times from people as well.
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    Aug 19, 2011 6:03 PM GMT
    Animator saidWith a man because communication with a man is much simpler than with any woman hah.


    I've heard that.

    Women can get a little cray-cray sometimes with their passive-aggressive questions.
  • easterndude69

    Posts: 632

    Aug 19, 2011 6:04 PM GMT
    But I dont want kidsicon_confused.gif And I want a hunky man.icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 19, 2011 6:06 PM GMT

    Chainers said


    Yes, you are a dipshit.

    Thank you and good night.



    Well, you're quite rude. However, it's unsurprising considering your post history.

    So, I'll just press the Ignore button.

    However, your comment on higher percentage of women over gay men was insightful; I'll give you that.
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    Aug 19, 2011 6:07 PM GMT
    JakeBenson said
    FinalHeaven86 said
    What was the general consensus of the answer?


    I'm guessing the answer is the same as with the "why don't white people find Asians/Black people attractive" and "Israel vs Palestine." Countless thoughtless flame war threads and in the end no one cared about the issue anymore except for 5 people.


    Jake......stop fucking up the flame thread.....
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    Aug 19, 2011 6:08 PM GMT
    hornydude01 saidBut I dont want kidsicon_confused.gif And I want a hunky man.icon_smile.gif


    I prefer godchildren.

    If you get the "daddy" urge, you can take them for a weekend.

    BUT. You can give them back when you've gotten your jollies.

    Works for me.
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    Aug 19, 2011 6:16 PM GMT
    FinalHeaven86 said
    Chainers said


    Yes, you are a dipshit.

    Thank you and good night.



    Well, you're quite rude. However, it's unsurprising considering your post history.

    So, I'll just press the Ignore button.

    However, your comment on higher percentage of women over gay men was insightful; I'll give you that.


    Bitch please, ignore me all you want but you will miss out on all my important insifghtfullness.

    I am wise beyond my years young grass hopper!