does the amount/intensity of the emotion of "Love" between two men in a long term relationship HAVE to be equal?

  • rnch

    Posts: 11556

    Aug 20, 2011 4:44 PM GMT
    or is it permitted/accepted/expected for one man to love the other "more" (or with lesser intensity)?

  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Aug 20, 2011 5:12 PM GMT
    How could you possibly measure the intensity of love between people? You can see loyalty, affection, honesty, how much help they give you, etc. You couldn't measure your emotion toward each other though, I don't think.

    Often times, in long-term relationships, one partner becomes more dependent and needs more love. Sometimes, one partner is committed to the relationship more than the other. But obviously both are committed enough and love each other enough and can compromise enough to be in the relationship.

    That being said, you may have some ways of displaying love that seem strange to the other partner. But that doesn't mean they love you less.
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Aug 21, 2011 4:27 AM GMT
    I asked my wife this question. She said why shouldn't the partner who loves less loves fully? Or the partner who love more shouldn't receive just as much love?

    In short, when you love less, you get less love.

    But she also thinks there will always be a partner who will be more invested in the relationship than the other. And that this shifts over time between partners.
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    Aug 21, 2011 4:47 AM GMT
    People love differently. If both are sincere, it's hard to say which one loves more. One might be better at patience and the other better at cheering their partner up on a bad day. Thats just two examples of dozens of qualities that go into love. What matters is that both are really into it, into each other, committed and reasonably satisfied.