ZACH, the Kirby Vacuum Salesman

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 21, 2011 3:54 AM GMT
    So it was about 5:15 p.m this afternoon and I'm trying to get around to exit for the gym and the doorbell rings. The guy tells me about a new carpet cleaning service he is starting and asks if he can do a demonstration.
    My carpets are relatively clean as I have them cleaned twice a year, but
    he encouraged a free demonstration.... "we could use some references if nothing else if we do a good job". He asked me a couple of personal questions, like "are you single" and "do you do the housecleaning" that bothered me. We set up a time for 7:30 p.m. for a quick demonstration.

    I called my partner and told him about the guy and to have him do the demonstration if I wasn't home from the gym yet. My partner was on his way into town and would be at the house when I arrived. When I got there, I found a guy named Zach.. late 20's, cute, but chunky selling my partner on the merits of a Kirby vacuum cleaner. Apparently he had been there an hour already. The guy I talked to earlier was nowhere to be found.

    So I take over the process, irritated I can't jump my partner. I haven't seen him in 3 weeks.. and "Zach" the Kirby salesman starts the sales pitch to me. Of course I wanted to know how this was a "carpet cleaning service" as stipulated by his working partner......no such luck. So.. the deal ..
    $2,510.00 for a new all in one system. I laughed... so it went on and on.
    He kept asking me what I'd consider and I told him I don't make decisions like this on the spot. Meanwhile, my partner was getting frustrated. I was hungry and also hot and wanted to give him a proper welcome.

    $"960.00, take it now.. but if you call me in a few days, I might not remember you" he said .. and by this time I'd been listening to him for 30 minutes myself. I stared at him and told him, "yeah, you'll remember me,
    you'd better... I'm fucking hot, hungry for my dinner and I want to attack my boyfriend (my partner was so shocked and about fell over).. Zach was speechless, I mean he packed up his stuff and said "If you think about it, it might not be as good a price... I looked at him with that look.. "there are a lot of things I think about, I just don't do it", I said. He left and my partner was just dying... "I'd rather have Jehovas Witnesses than that". he said.

    Beware the Kirby Vacuum guys.... but if they use their tricks on me.. I have a few of my own "tricks" for them....LOL!

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Aug 21, 2011 4:18 AM GMT
    I had some Mormans come by one Saturday morning at about 9am. Im not a morning person.

    One was tall and white the other was a REALLY cute hispanic.

    They tried their sales pitch and I stopped them and said:

    "Look. I am GAY and Pentecostal. I am not changing my ways. #2 We have enough Mormans running around here and I dont need 2 new ones. You might want to check your territory with the other 2 that havent learnt to stop coming the fuck by my house.....You (to hispanic)...You're cute..Would you like some Irish Coffee?"

    They couldnt get out of there fast enough.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 21, 2011 4:47 AM GMT
    I had no idea Kirby was still around. I guess there are lots of idiots buying $2500 vacuum cleaners to keep them in business. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 21, 2011 4:59 AM GMT
    I never get in situations like that. My time is very valuable to me and I would stop those pitches immediately. I am very polite but say I am not interested, and if they try and persist, I just say "sorry" and end the conversation.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 21, 2011 10:47 AM GMT
    socalfitness saidI never get in situations like that. My time is very valuable to me and I would stop those pitches immediately. I am very polite but say I am not interested, and if they try and persist, I just say "sorry" and end the conversation.


    I would normally agree with you, John, but there was another motivation going on... Buddy had a vomiting accident in a hallway area and we had a small pet stain going on... I wanted the area cleaned up.. hehe.. I thought this would be a test for this "carpet cleaning company" or so I thought.

    I learned something out of it, be assurred.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 21, 2011 2:24 PM GMT
    designall.dll?ch=&pid=128004796039443800

    http://www.zazzle.com/no_solicitation_no_magazine_offers_no_religi_bumper_sticker-128004796039443800
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 21, 2011 2:27 PM GMT
    (Looks over at the 15 year old Kirby sitting in the closet). They got my mom...and she gave into it. Lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 21, 2011 10:12 PM GMT
    StudlyScrewRite saiddesignall.dll?ch=&pid=128004796039443800

    They never read those signs, and ring your doorbell anyways. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 21, 2011 10:22 PM GMT

    Funny story... and very well handled I would say!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 21, 2011 10:38 PM GMT
    Kirby's are the ONLY vacuum I would endorse tbh...