Asking for dating advice. Help! What do I do?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2011 10:12 PM GMT
    Hi fellow RJers. First and foremost, sorry to use a sock account but I am a tad too embarrassed to use my real main account, especially I have too many friends here in real life. I just wish to talk about this issue without my identity clouding your advice. O....K....this is what happened to me.

    About six weeks ago I met a guy on RJ. He messaged me, commenting that I looked good and all that. So we got to talking, and he would say the sweetest stuff such as "I would be so lucky to have a handsome guy like you as my BF", "I go to sleep dreaming about you", "When are you going to come and visit me in ___", and so forth. At first I thought although he looked cute, he's not exactly my type based on his pics, but when I got to talk to him more, I became attached to his happy go lucky and sunny personality and his sweet messages. He kept bothering me, wanting me to cam, and one night I finally caved to his request, and wow, he is much cuter on cam than his pics. We then cam a few more times, he would keep saying things like I am gorgeous and he loves the way I smile and all that sweet stuff, and we even talked about me going to meet him in person, which he lives about 4 hours away. I was willing to pay for hotels and everything because our conversations have gotten really interesting and I have really grown to be attached to his lovely smile on camera and his sweetest messages that make me feel like I am a cloud nine.

    The problem is, ever since that last time we cammed which is about 2 weeks before. All contacts has stopped on his end. I have his personal cell phone number, if I wish to contact him that way, I can. However, I do feel that it is going to make me look too desperate trying to contact him through another venue other than RJ. He has mentioned on several occasions that he works about 15 hours a day including weekends, and therefore I do not think he met another or better guy. So I am actually concerned if something bad has happened to him. He hasn't logged in to RJ since we cammed last time.

    ....what do I do? thx for reading.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2011 12:57 AM GMT
    *bump* come on people. pretty please?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2011 1:07 AM GMT
    If you're a regular forum poster, you would probably know the general consensus on things like this is:

    He's just NOT that into you

    If all contacts have stopped, why are you wasting your time?

    No sense in stopping your life for someone who you've never met, never touched/kissed/fucked etc... so move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2011 1:10 AM GMT
    he obviously gave you his number for a reason...either text him or move on dam, i dont see how this issue required a whole thread to itself. Its quite simple. This thread makes you look desperate if anything
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Aug 22, 2011 1:17 AM GMT
    Uh call him. If it doesn't go well, get over him. You didn't have that much invested anyway.
  • KissTheSky

    Posts: 1981

    Aug 22, 2011 1:22 AM GMT
    If I were you I would probably give it one last try and text him rather than never communicating with him again... but like the other posters said, this is almost certainly going nowhere.
    There are tons of people, gay and straight, who are partnered but feeling horny/bored/whatever and so they have brief online "flings" that are flirtatious and titillating for them, but they never intend on actually meeting. Once it moves in that direction, they pull the plug. I've had a number of friends tell me this has happened to them (although obviously there's no way to know for sure this was the case with your flaky cam buddy).
    So the person in your position is left thinking, "what did I do wrong," and the answer is nothing... the guy had no intention of ever meeting you or pursuing anything serious with you. He probably used you as his beat-off fantasy for a while (sorry to be so blunt).

    Sorry, I know it hurts. icon_sad.gif
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Aug 22, 2011 1:36 AM GMT
    Wow, did you really make a "sock" account for this?

    Just call/text him, it's so simple. He is probably just busy from working 15 hour days.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2011 2:44 AM GMT
    ohioguy12 saidWow, did you really make a "sock" account for this?

    Just call/text him, it's so simple. He is probably just busy from working 15 hour days.


    Well after being here for a long time I think it's important to uphold a certain image on RJ. I know it looks really silly but it's not like I am creating this sock account to insult another member, so I don't see why it is so wrong. thanks for your input. I was thinking that it's probably just working 15 hour days too.
  • ATXnative

    Posts: 240

    Aug 22, 2011 2:47 AM GMT
    He wanted you to contact him, obviously you haven't reciprocated his actions so he's doing the smart thing and waiting for you to make the next move. He spent a lot of time on you already, so dig a little if you like him.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:00 AM GMT
    the risk takers are the ones who always get everything, why?? because they have no fear, they are not afraid to do what they want, go call that dame guy you have nothing to lose but much to gain. duhhhhrrrrrrzzzzzzzzzfghfgjfnygfmk
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:05 AM GMT
    FannyBandit saidHe wanted you to contact him, obviously you haven't reciprocated his actions so he's doing the smart thing and waiting for you to make the next move. He spent a lot of time on you already, so dig a little if you like him.


    So you think that's his way to see if I would contact him first? I have shot him a follow up RJ mail, but he hasn't logged in. I think it's time that I text him.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:06 AM GMT
    archon saidthe risk takers are the ones who always get everything, why?? because they have no fear, they are not afraid to do what they want, go call that dame guy you have nothing to lose but much to gain. duhhhhrrrrrrzzzzzzzzzfghfgjfnygfmk


    I think I will do that. That really made me feel so much better. thanx dude.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:07 AM GMT
    klarepup said
    FannyBandit saidHe wanted you to contact him, obviously you haven't reciprocated his actions so he's doing the smart thing and waiting for you to make the next move. He spent a lot of time on you already, so dig a little if you like him.


    So you think that's his way to see if I would contact him first? I have shot him a follow up RJ mail, but he hasn't logged in. I think it's time that I text him.


    don't think, you done enough thinking, time for action, dont think about what he thinks do what you need to do, TEXT HIM, say hii or something
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:15 AM GMT
    the curious/nosy side of me says: take action, then UPDATE US, PLEASE. Thanks! icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:26 AM GMT
    icon_biggrin.gif sure will
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:38 AM GMT
    klarepup saidicon_biggrin.gif sure will


    tell me your other identity!!!
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Aug 22, 2011 3:41 AM GMT
    archon said
    klarepup saidicon_biggrin.gif sure will


    tell me your other identity!!!


    Yea I want to know too!
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    Aug 22, 2011 4:48 AM GMT
    ohioguy12 said
    archon said
    klarepup saidicon_biggrin.gif sure will


    tell me your other identity!!!


    Yea I want to know too!


    I'm a ginger.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2011 4:50 AM GMT
    lmaooooooo
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 23, 2011 6:50 PM GMT
    I sent him a text and it has been a day n a half. I think it's over between us.

    Done.

    Finito.

    Da end.

    Sad-Puppy.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 23, 2011 6:54 PM GMT
    archon saidlmaooooooo


    Hey you're pretty good looking and nice....icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 23, 2011 6:57 PM GMT
    klarepup said
    archon saidlmaooooooo


    Hey you're pretty good looking and nice....icon_biggrin.gif


    thanks, i wish i knew your real profile, well you send him the text and you got your answer, he is ether dead or not interested, now move on and forgeticon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 23, 2011 8:56 PM GMT
    archon said
    klarepup said
    archon saidlmaooooooo


    Hey you're pretty good looking and nice....icon_biggrin.gif


    thanks, i wish i knew your real profile, well you send him the text and you got your answer, he is ether dead or not interested, now move on and forgeticon_biggrin.gif


    I am sure you'll know who I am soon enough. icon_wink.gif
  • jasen202

    Posts: 42

    Aug 23, 2011 11:08 PM GMT
    I would always call. Leaving a voice message leaves an impression.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2011 1:57 AM GMT
    klarepup said
    archon said
    klarepup said
    archon saidlmaooooooo


    Hey you're pretty good looking and nice....icon_biggrin.gif


    thanks, i wish i knew your real profile, well you send him the text and you got your answer, he is ether dead or not interested, now move on and forgeticon_biggrin.gif


    I am sure you'll know who I am soon enough. icon_wink.gif


    perfect, make sure i know you in the forume.