How do you express admiration for guys who are aging well without offending them?

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    Aug 22, 2011 1:06 AM GMT
    There are a lot of guys on RJ who have done a fantastic job of maintaining their bodies as they age. I am very interested in how people to maintain that success during the periods of life where many other people do not. I usually say something like "I really admire the work you have done. What do you do to maintain it." But even that can sometimes be inflammatory to some people.
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    Aug 22, 2011 1:07 AM GMT
    "You look great! What's your diet/exercise regimen like?"
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    Aug 22, 2011 1:11 AM GMT
    You cannot 'not' offend those who would be offended by anything.. Don't worry about it. those who are older and adjusted LOVE the compliments! Those who have issues will always have issues.
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    Aug 22, 2011 1:11 AM GMT
    Looking good pops or damn sir, you look good for youe age!
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    Aug 22, 2011 1:15 AM GMT
    I would expect anyone who is good looking over the age of 30 to start hearing "you look good" followed by "for your age" from other people because that's the age when many (if not most) people just really start looking like shit. If these people you compliment don't understand and take offense to your compliment then obviously their brain is not as well kept as their body is.

    Also, you can always counter-act this by saying "you look great for your age" to people younger than you. After all, for example, 20 is an age where guys are either really fit (good looking for their age) or their body looks seriously weird as they still haven't discovered the gym yet.
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    Aug 22, 2011 1:53 AM GMT
    This is an interesting topic. As an anecdote, If I ever get hot listed by an older guy, it's way more of a compliment, because I take it as that they've seen a lot more than I have and yet, they think I'm hot. And if they look great at 45 or beyond, I do want to say it, but I'm nervous that if I'm just like "you look really good" it might be misconstrued as flirting/legitimate interest.

    And quite honestly - it's not to say that I wouldn't be interested, but most of the time I'm saying it more objectively - like as a statement of fact.

    So, generally I just tend to not say anything because I don't want to offend.

    But really - some of you guys look amazing and I'd hope I can look nearly as good as some of you rockstars at that age.
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Aug 22, 2011 1:55 AM GMT
    Does "Black dont crack" work?
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    Aug 22, 2011 2:02 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    Ariodante said"You look great! What's your diet/exercise regimen like?"

    B I N G O! Give that man a prize!!!
    Men over 50 have no problem with younger, same or older men stopping by to say hi. Why should a compliment be thwarted by age?
    I see lots of men here that have amazing bodies and have clearly worked their asses off to keep em' that way and they are easily 10 yrs my senior.
    Tell them they are an inspiration to you for all their hard work and dedication.
    Saying someone looks good for their age is pretty much the same as saying you look good for a Black, Asian, Red head, short, bald,husky, etc. Guy....
    Why label at all? How's about,, hey, you look great, and leave the obvious alone rather than making it sound like something they overcame...
    Just sayin'


    This is all useful information minus the whole "you look good for a black/asian/minority race here" being analogous as "you look good for your age."

    Everyone ages, not everyone is a minority.
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    Aug 22, 2011 2:11 AM GMT
    JakeBenson saidI would expect anyone who is good looking over the age of 30 to start hearing "you look good" followed by "for your age" from other people because that's the age when many (if not most) people just really start looking like shit. If these people you compliment don't understand and take offense to your compliment then obviously their brain is not as well kept as their body is.

    Also, you can always counter-act this by saying "you look great for your age" to people younger than you. After all, for example, 20 is an age where guys are either really fit (good looking for their age) or their body looks seriously weird as they still haven't discovered the gym yet.


    i think i am going to die the day someone tells me i look good for my age.
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    Aug 22, 2011 2:13 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    Ariodante said"You look great! What's your diet/exercise regimen like?"

    B I N G O! Give that man a prize!!!
    Men over 50 have no problem with younger, same or older men stopping by to say hi. Why should a compliment be thwarted by age?
    I see lots of men here that have amazing bodies and have clearly worked their asses off to keep em' that way and they are easily 10 yrs my senior.
    Tell them they are an inspiration to you for all their hard work and dedication.
    Saying someone looks good for their age is pretty much the same as saying you look good for a Black, Asian, Red head, short, bald,husky, etc. Guy....
    Why label at all? How's about,, hey, you look great, and leave the obvious alone rather than making it sound like something they overcame...
    Just sayin'

    Agree
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    Aug 22, 2011 2:19 AM GMT
    closer85 said This is all useful information minus the whole "you look good for a black/asian/minority race here" being analogous as "you look good for your age."

    Everyone ages, not everyone is a minority.


    Agreed. I like the way you think.

    Even so, how can I be pissed if someone's just told me that I look better than most my Asian brethren?

    It's good to be receiving compliments than none at all. Just learn to take compliments graciously.
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    Aug 22, 2011 2:20 AM GMT
    wowgamer92 saidLooking good pops or damn sir, you look good for youe age!


    that is one of my least favorties.
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    Aug 22, 2011 2:38 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    closer85 said
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    Ariodante said"You look great! What's your diet/exercise regimen like?"


    This is all useful information minus the whole "you look good for a black/asian/minority race here" being analogous as "you look good for your age."

    Everyone ages, not everyone is a minority.

    First off,, my apologies if I offended you. Not my intention at all.
    I will say that when you get a certain age in the gay community you deal with your own discrimination by your own people,,, one day you'll know what I mean.
    All I was saying is you should not label folks period. Insults are insults.


    Apology accepted - and to be clear, I'm not offended, but I don't like it when people equate an instrument of vanity (age/baldness/etc) to being an ethnic minority.
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    Aug 22, 2011 2:39 AM GMT
    Have to agree with TheGuyNextDoor on his comment. Everyone ages: true. Your age is a fact that you have no control over (like some of the other categories he mentioned.) Maybe a better analogy would be "You look great for a short guy." Can't help that either. We all have to deal with the attributes we've been handed, whether it's the year your were born, or the parents you came from.

    It's nice to just be appreciated for yourself without qualifications.
  • tdot46

    Posts: 25

    Aug 22, 2011 2:44 AM GMT
    a twink once told me i looked good for an old fart

    made my day icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 22, 2011 2:47 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    closer85 said
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    closer85 said
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    Ariodante said"You look great! What's your diet/exercise regimen like?"




    Apology accepted - and to be clear, I'm not offended, but I don't like it when people equate an instrument of vanity (age/baldness/etc) to being an ethnic minority.

    I'm pretty sure that throughout my whole life, I'm going to be more offended the racist stuff that's said or assumed about me because I'm a black gay/bi male than because of my age. And that's inclusive of my "gay" community; a community that is known for being just as, if not more racist as they are ageist.

    You know,, you're 100% right and I have not walked a mile in your shoes nor felt your pain. So, again, poor wording on my part.
    Big hugs my friend.


    I deleted that second part because I didn't want to make you feel bad. My bad that you actually saw it.

    We're cool.
  • emailaddress

    Posts: 313

    Aug 22, 2011 2:48 AM GMT
    Its not something I would say, but I have no hesitation in telling someone they look great for their age. i mean you are 48, at least own up to it. the worst thing being oldER is a mind of an insecure 18 y.o. girl in a grown man's body.


    I have been told that I look great for my age many times. i know it means "for the limited time you have to build up, you look great. but on the grand scale of things you are not all that hot." but a compliment is a compliment, i can either focus on the positive side, say thanks and take it like a man, or i can be bitter and dwell on the fact its a half-assed compliment. I choose the former. its petty and dont worth more than just a polite “thanks”
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    Aug 22, 2011 2:52 AM GMT
    AvadaKedavra said
    i think i am going to die the day someone tells me i look good for my age.


    But you DO look good for your age. :-P

    And to the OP, yeah, "Hey, amazing photo. You look great" (without qualifications of any kind) is always good.

    I also agree with TropicalMark, some people get offended by anything. Don't worry about them.
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    Aug 22, 2011 2:54 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    Ariodante said"You look great! What's your diet/exercise regimen like?"

    B I N G O! Give that man a prize!!!
    Men over 50 have no problem with younger, same or older men stopping by to say hi. Why should a compliment be thwarted by age?
    I see lots of men here that have amazing bodies and have clearly worked their asses off to keep em' that way and they are easily 10 yrs my senior.
    Tell them they are an inspiration to you for all their hard work and dedication.
    Saying someone looks good for their age is pretty much the same as saying you look good for a Black, Asian, Red head, short, bald,husky, etc. Guy....
    Why label at all? How's about,, hey, you look great, and leave the obvious alone rather than making it sound like something they overcame...
    Just sayin'


    Just call them a handsome gentleman and they'll swoon all over you icon_smile.gif!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 22, 2011 2:59 AM GMT
    im still trying to figure how telling anyone they look good could be offensive.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:12 AM GMT
    Speaking as an "official" old guy now...

    < opinion=personal, projecting=yes >

    I think as guys first start getting on in years (gay years, that is) -- i.e. the hair starts going gray or thinning or receding, and the body fat gets tougher to keep off, and the joints start acting up, etc. (this could happen to guys anywhere from late 30s to late 50s, depending on the genetic cards you've been dealt, and how well you've played them), they are only getting used to the idea of aging themselves, so I classify them as "age sensitive". An "age sensitive" guy is probably not going to react well to the "for your age" modifier, cause it's just another piece of evidence he can't ignore, regardless of how well meaning the compliment -- and frankly, they are all well meaning.

    However, once a guy gets past the "age sensitive" years, and starts to own his age and his body (with all of its new "quirks"), then I find one is no longer all that sensitive to any new signs of aging, including the "for your age" modifier. It's all very familiar, and it's not any big fucking deal anymore. We're just happy for what we have, and value it more and more every day.

    I'm happy to say I exited the "age sensitive" years a few years back, so I have no problem with a young guy saying I look good for my age. I take it, gratefully, as the compliment it was meant to be.

    < /opinion >

    PS I want to give a shout out to all the young guys who've been so freaking brilliant to me, in so many ways, many of them here on RJ, to me in my "old age." I only wish I could reincarnate as a 20 something when you're all in your 50s and return the love.

    I'll guess I just have to be more appreciative of you all now, while I'm still here icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:14 AM GMT
    AvadaKedavra said
    JakeBenson saidI would expect anyone who is good looking over the age of 30 to start hearing "you look good" followed by "for your age" from other people because that's the age when many (if not most) people just really start looking like shit. If these people you compliment don't understand and take offense to your compliment then obviously their brain is not as well kept as their body is.

    Also, you can always counter-act this by saying "you look great for your age" to people younger than you. After all, for example, 20 is an age where guys are either really fit (good looking for their age) or their body looks seriously weird as they still haven't discovered the gym yet.


    i think i am going to die the day someone tells me i look good for my age.


    but you do.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:16 AM GMT
    dekiruman said
    AvadaKedavra said
    JakeBenson saidI would expect anyone who is good looking over the age of 30 to start hearing "you look good" followed by "for your age" from other people because that's the age when many (if not most) people just really start looking like shit. If these people you compliment don't understand and take offense to your compliment then obviously their brain is not as well kept as their body is.

    Also, you can always counter-act this by saying "you look great for your age" to people younger than you. After all, for example, 20 is an age where guys are either really fit (good looking for their age) or their body looks seriously weird as they still haven't discovered the gym yet.


    i think i am going to die the day someone tells me i look good for my age.


    but you do.


    shut up. am i not supposed to look good at 30?
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:18 AM GMT
    AvadaKedavra said
    dekiruman said
    AvadaKedavra said
    JakeBenson saidI would expect anyone who is good looking over the age of 30 to start hearing "you look good" followed by "for your age" from other people because that's the age when many (if not most) people just really start looking like shit. If these people you compliment don't understand and take offense to your compliment then obviously their brain is not as well kept as their body is.

    Also, you can always counter-act this by saying "you look great for your age" to people younger than you. After all, for example, 20 is an age where guys are either really fit (good looking for their age) or their body looks seriously weird as they still haven't discovered the gym yet.


    i think i am going to die the day someone tells me i look good for my age.


    but you do.


    shut up. am i not supposed to look good at 30?


    Well I don't know how old you are in real life. Whatever supple young asian boy's photos you lifted off of gay.com look pretty nice though.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:21 AM GMT
    AvadaKedavra said
    dekiruman said
    AvadaKedavra said
    JakeBenson saidI would expect anyone who is good looking over the age of 30 to start hearing "you look good" followed by "for your age" from other people because that's the age when many (if not most) people just really start looking like shit. If these people you compliment don't understand and take offense to your compliment then obviously their brain is not as well kept as their body is.

    Also, you can always counter-act this by saying "you look great for your age" to people younger than you. After all, for example, 20 is an age where guys are either really fit (good looking for their age) or their body looks seriously weird as they still haven't discovered the gym yet.


    i think i am going to die the day someone tells me i look good for my age.


    but you do.


    shut up. am i not supposed to look good at 30?


    50% chance no you're not supposed to look good. So many guys around 30 (loosely 27-33) typically have garnered a gut, a decent amount of crows feet, lost cheek fat, and gained noticeable male-pattern baldness. I don't see any of those in your photos.