Advice please

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    Aug 22, 2011 6:15 AM GMT
    Shoot me an email with your thoughts-

    This is the issue- a friend wants to enlist in the military, i dont want them to grow, its selfish but i dont wanna let them go and grow up and get confident and strong. all because i cant and i dont know what my route to strength is
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    Aug 22, 2011 7:04 AM GMT
    Join your friend.
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    Aug 22, 2011 7:13 AM GMT
    I'm in a somewhat similar situation. Except is not that I don't want him to grow and be all he can be. Is more of a fear of loosing him. He's looking forward to this since 2009 but his mom and I along a handful of others are not. I already told him what my point of view is on the subject and he says he's not going to go to the front lines so I shouldn't worry.

    The best advice I could give you is talk it out with him. Tell him how you feel about his decision. Don't hold anything back.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:31 PM GMT
    I am medically ineligible from joining. No Recruiter(and this was quoting a Marine I talked to) will touch me. I also don't want to see him die of course (who would?) but it's a mix of those two reasons, selfishness and not wanting to see him hurt.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:35 PM GMT
    Let him know that he won't be dying for our freedom like soldiers used to do...now they die (and kill) for the politicians' pocketbooks.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:41 PM GMT
    Not to be rude paul- but I don't appreciate snark, I do sincerely want advice.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:45 PM GMT
    First of all, contrary to what military ads and American culture try to tell you, there are many paths to "grow[ing] up and get[ting] confident and strong" besides picking up a gun and being sent to far-flung lands to secure access to resources that the multinational corporations desperately want.

    Have you considered Teach for America, the Peace Corps, or another such service-based group?

    If you wish to do something more physical, consider taking a semester-long NOLS course. They offer financial aid if money is a factor (they're expensive but you learn GREAT leadership skills - I've used what I learned in my NOLS courses in many other areas of life).
    www.nols.edu

    Here's a page run by a Quaker group about alternatives to military service:
    http://afsc.org/resource/alternatives-military-service

    And here's one more site that lists a bunch of alternatives depending on what you're looking to do:
    http://www.nyclu.org/milrec/alternatives

    I know Vets for Peace has something out there but I couldn't find a good quick guide on their page like the NYCLU page has.

    Good luck, and congrats on at least one piece of "growing up" that you've already done - you've looked at your own conflicted feelings about your friend's enlistment, owned them, and expressed them. A lot of guys NEVER get that grown up.
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    Aug 22, 2011 3:54 PM GMT
    Fun thing is- I make 25 dollars a week(as a college student) taking my neighbors dog out and taking care of it during the week for her.(100 dollars a month). Father dearest, is demanding 100 dollars a month as rent for my living here as a Community college student who is just trying to focus on college and get my degree and further my life. HE says he needs me to start pulling my share(even though I do do the chores around here) He says he needs the money too, and yet he can afford to buy lots of booze and I don't know how many packs of cigarettes a week but yeah, I know if I gave him money it wouldn't go towards groceries or bills (where it should) but probably to his habits