"Sorry, you're not my Type"

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    Aug 23, 2011 6:10 PM GMT
    icon_eek.gif
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    Aug 23, 2011 6:15 PM GMT
    Jeandeau saidI'm getting VERY fed up with people yelling at ME when I respond to them saying "sorry, I appreciate the interest, but you're not my type."

    NO THAT DOES NOT MEAN SEND ME 17 DICK PICTURES. NO I AM NOT SAYING YOU ARE UNATTRACTIVE. I am just saying that I am not interested or attracted. Why is that such a crime and why do I get chastised for it? I thought the kind and mature thing to do would be respond (Unless it's a rude message or one that's just plain trashy..)

    So, Men: Would you rather have a guy just block and ignore you altogether, or politely respond and say "Thanks, but no thanks?"icon_question.gificon_exclaim.gif


    I would rather be ignored or blocked than responded with an "im not interested"

    Im a big boy, I can handle someone not being into me, however when someone responds I usually take it as a sign of interest, only to read the messaging saying "Im not interested." Its a downer.

    That being said, if someone responds to you multiple times (for me there can be some guys who hit me up like 6 times that day) and Im not responding, its usually good call to block.

    What pisses me off more is I will get on grindr, get like 30 messages (when I first start) and log on and get a "5 users blocked you before you had the chance to read their message" crap. Thanks 5 random guys who have no patients!
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    Aug 23, 2011 6:22 PM GMT
    Jeandeau saidyou mak-a no sense? You just said block and ignore is preferential, but then when you DO get blocked and ignored you get mad at them for not giving you a chance?

    I'm confused.icon_question.gif


    No, they send me a message, I dont check it fast enough, so they block me. That pisses me off the most.

    If they block or ignore me I dont give a fuck.
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    Aug 23, 2011 6:29 PM GMT
    Jeandeau saidOhhhhhh.

    I haven't had that happen to me.. I know what you mean though, people get Cunty if you don't respond fast enough...

    Or maybe it's just random people blocking you? Not the same ones who sent the messages? I just go through and block people constantly so I can load more guys ;)


    I do that too, they only send it if someone sends you a message and then block you before you read it, so who knows.
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    Aug 23, 2011 6:38 PM GMT
    Jeandeau saidOh that's weird. I always wondered what that message meant. I was wondering if half the county had gotten them from me icon_eek.gif

    Glad to know they didn't! haha.


    lol I know that would suck to log in and see "20 people have blocked you"

    Gee thanks for the confidence booster Grindr...
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    Aug 23, 2011 7:08 PM GMT
    Sometimes no reply is the best reply.
    Turning someone down without offending them is 100% impossible.
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Aug 23, 2011 7:11 PM GMT
    What I think is the rudest are guys who say "you're not my type" in a non-personal way as if saying "no, thanks, that shirt is not my style". Just remember you're talking to a person and not shooting down a place to eat that not. People have feelings, restaurants don't.
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    Aug 23, 2011 7:14 PM GMT
    I used to shoot people down but I gave up because they usually would come back with some snide remark or keep persuing it.

    One example: "sorry man I just dont think I would be interested."
    "Fucking whore!"

    Or "sorry man I dont think I am interested"
    "why arent you interested?"
    block.

    So I just ignore now.
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    Aug 23, 2011 7:19 PM GMT
    cookingitsweet saidWhat I think is the rudest are guys who say "you're not my type" in a non-personal way as if saying "no, thanks, that shirt is not my style". Just remember you're talking to a person and not shooting down a place to eat. People have feelings, restaurants don't.


    Bingo.

    I think people may get upset because you say in your profile you're open to anything (fun to do) and the only criteria I could find was that you didn't want to hear from men with 90 thousand pics in their hot list or from people that just want a hook-up.

    Are these people you're turning down telling you they're sexually or romantically interested?
    If they are tell them you're not sexually/romantically interested.

    Perhaps they're getting the idea that you don't want a friend or warm acquaintance either.
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    Aug 23, 2011 7:20 PM GMT
    cookingitsweet saidWhat I think is the rudest are guys who say "you're not my type" in a non-personal way as if saying "no, thanks, that shirt is not my style". Just remember you're talking to a person and not shooting down a place to eat that not. People have feelings, restaurants don't.


    Im sorry but if it is a sex hook up, then its like sitting down at a restaurant. Dating is different.
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    Aug 23, 2011 7:23 PM GMT
    Simurgh said
    cookingitsweet saidWhat I think is the rudest are guys who say "you're not my type" in a non-personal way as if saying "no, thanks, that shirt is not my style". Just remember you're talking to a person and not shooting down a place to eat that not. People have feelings, restaurants don't.


    Im sorry but if it is a sex hook up, then its like sitting down at a restaurant. Dating is different.



    Look at his profile; he doesn't do hook-ups.
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    Aug 23, 2011 7:27 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Simurgh said
    cookingitsweet saidWhat I think is the rudest are guys who say "you're not my type" in a non-personal way as if saying "no, thanks, that shirt is not my style". Just remember you're talking to a person and not shooting down a place to eat that not. People have feelings, restaurants don't.


    Im sorry but if it is a sex hook up, then its like sitting down at a restaurant. Dating is different.



    Look at his profile; he doesn't do hook-ups.


    Grindr is a sex app, everyone is looking for Nookie on grindr...
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    Aug 23, 2011 7:41 PM GMT
    i knpw the feeling!
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    Aug 23, 2011 7:52 PM GMT
    If I were to send a message that was or could be construed as sexual in nature, then I would rather be replied to and told that I wasn't his type, but given the reason. "Sorry, I'm into taller/older/less loquacious/etc. guys" is far more helpful than being ignored (in which case I might just think they're busy or didn't see the email) or just shot down with no feedback.

    Wouldn't you rather know that you just happen to be outside someone's height/age range than that they think you're an ass? And if they think you're an ass, wouldn't that be nice to know also, so that if you get that feedback a lot, you can go about trying to change the things you do that come across as asinine?
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    Aug 23, 2011 7:56 PM GMT
    Jeandeau said
    meninlove said
    cookingitsweet saidWhat I think is the rudest are guys who say "you're not my type" in a non-personal way as if saying "no, thanks, that shirt is not my style". Just remember you're talking to a person and not shooting down a place to eat. People have feelings, restaurants don't.


    Bingo.

    I think people may get upset because you say in your profile you're open to anything (fun to do) and the only criteria I could find was that you didn't want to hear from men with 90 thousand pics in their hot list or from people that just want a hook-up.

    Are these people you're turning down telling you they're sexually or romantically interested?
    If they are tell them you're not sexually/romantically interested.

    Perhaps they're getting the idea that you don't want a friend or warm acquaintance either.



    Wasn't looking for people to read into this so much... I appreciate the psychoanalysis of my profile, but I simply meant that when I'm being nice saying "sorry I'm not interested" Which is a PERFECTLY fair thing to say, people get pissy.


    Welcome to realjock, where even the most mild of questions gets turned into a personal attack on the OP. We are not for the feint of hearts lol.
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    Aug 23, 2011 7:59 PM GMT
    Jeandeau said
    meninlove said
    cookingitsweet saidWhat I think is the rudest are guys who say "you're not my type" in a non-personal way as if saying "no, thanks, that shirt is not my style". Just remember you're talking to a person and not shooting down a place to eat. People have feelings, restaurants don't.


    Bingo.

    I think people may get upset because you say in your profile you're open to anything (fun to do) and the only criteria I could find was that you didn't want to hear from men with 90 thousand pics in their hot list or from people that just want a hook-up.

    Are these people you're turning down telling you they're sexually or romantically interested?
    If they are tell them you're not sexually/romantically interested.

    Perhaps they're getting the idea that you don't want a friend or warm acquaintance either.



    Wasn't looking for people to read into this so much... I appreciate the psychoanalysis of my profile, but I simply meant that when I'm being nice saying "sorry I'm not interested" Which is a PERFECTLY fair thing to say, people get pissy.


    Rofl, there's no psychoanalysis in our reply, all we did was go to your profile as though we were complete strangers, which we are, and imagined ourselves thinking about contacting you.
    So, we read your profile (which welcomes people to contact you) and then thought about how we'd feel if we did contact you and you said, 'sorry I'm not interested.' or 'you're not my type'. icon_wink.gif

    Is this about friendship or sex?





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    Aug 23, 2011 8:04 PM GMT
    I think such a reply is perfectly ok and much better than no response at all.
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    Aug 23, 2011 8:07 PM GMT
    Jeandeau saidBut sure, if you email me saying "Hey you sound nice let's chat" then sure. I'm perfectly willing to have a conversation. But if you send me a message saying "you're hot" or just sending a picture or something which makes the intent some kind of sexual encounter... I don't know whther people like heading "I'm not interested/you're not my type" or just "block."


    Now that's a lot clearer. Your profile specifically states you're just looking for friends and training buddies, so just remind them of that.
    We do.
    Yes believe it or not we get propositioned. We take it lightly, often as a compliment, invite them to read our profile, and keep the door open to making a friend.
    It leaves the door open to friendship and is a lot warmer than what you said. icon_wink.gif


    .
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    Aug 23, 2011 8:24 PM GMT
    People have all kinds of insecurities and personal issues that play into what they think when you turn them down, especially over the internet. For some odd reason, even though I know there could be numerous different reasons, I always assume if i write someone that appears to have a lot in common with me and they don't respond back, that they are simply assuming that we have nothing in common from a quick glance at my photo. It pisses me off sometimes, but isn't that big of a deal.

    When I'm turning a guy down on the web, I tend to say: "Hey nice profile. You seem like a really nice guy. Unfortunately, you're not typically what I go for, but I have no issue chatting with you as a friend!"

    Guys seem to really like it. Whereas it is kind of is pre-judging on my part, it says that I don't think you're shit, or worthless, or that i'm incapable of enjoying your conversation. Simply that I'm not romantically interested.

    I've never gotten cursed out, or a why don't you like me message while using this kind of response. In fact most people write me back saying: "Wow. Most people just ignore me and leave me hanging. You're a nice guy."


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    Aug 23, 2011 9:42 PM GMT
    Jeandeau saidI'm getting VERY fed up with people yelling at ME when I respond to them saying "sorry, I appreciate the interest, but you're not my type."

    NO THAT DOES NOT MEAN SEND ME 17 DICK PICTURES. NO I AM NOT SAYING YOU ARE UNATTRACTIVE. I am just saying that I am not interested or attracted. Why is that such a crime and why do I get chastised for it? I thought the kind and mature thing to do would be respond (Unless it's a rude message or one that's just plain trashy..)

    So, Men: Would you rather have a guy just block and ignore you altogether, or politely respond and say "Thanks, but no thanks?"icon_question.gificon_exclaim.gif



    I would rather someone say sorry, I appreciate the interest, but you're not my type." That's what I tell guys too. I think it's much better then blocking or ignoring someone.
  • Scriven

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    Aug 23, 2011 9:50 PM GMT
    Jeandeau saidYeah I've gotten the "Thanks for being Honest/polite" response as well, but lately I feel like people have taken it and been like "Well what IS your type then, stupid jocks like you?"

    A) I'm CERTAINLY not a jock and B) I'm not stupid.. just not interested. It just gets frustrating that when I'm honest, people get pissed off or somehow make ME feel like the guilty party.


    I think saying "Sorry, you're not my type" based off a few pictures and a paragraph of text you might may, or may not, have bothered to read is incredibly shallow. I can't see why you would be pissed at people for reacting negatively to your shallowness.

    The mere act of saying that someone's not your type implies that you have made a judgement, probably a snap judgement, probably just based upon appearance, and suggests that appearance is the absolute most important thing to do. It says that you've assessed what "Type" of person someone is, and that you don't care for that. Yeah, that's demeaning

    Back when I had a profile on a couple of dating sites I had on it, "If you think Glee is the bestest show ever on television, and that Lady Ga Ga isn't annoying and underwhelming then we probably don't have anything to talk about."

    Yeah, that pissed off some people I think, but at the end of the day it was information about me that let people make a decision about what kind of person I was, not just whether I fit some sort of "Type." If you have a profile and don't put any information about what you're looking for or what your "Type" is, then you can't really be pissed off at people who you don't like approaching you.

    If looks are that important to you, and it must be if you have a "Type" that's not personality determined, then you should probably be upfront about it. If you only go for guys of a certain ethnicity, height, weight and age range then state it and specifically say that only people meeting that exact physical criteria should contract you. My bet is it that you won't do that though, because you like turning people down.
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    Aug 23, 2011 9:54 PM GMT
    Some will get mad regardless of how you handle it. I met a guy for coffee once and just completely found no chemistry. I told him at the end in what I felt was a nice way that I just found no chemistry, and wouldn't led him on. I thought it was much nicer than avoiding someones calls or blocking them. Well regardless my first name was BITCH after that as far as he was concerned. lol Still I think it was better than playing games. Getting disappointed rejected and let downs part of dating.
  • Nizzo

    Posts: 130

    Aug 24, 2011 12:16 AM GMT
    The muscle guys get the worst. I'm not in the best shape but just because you have Abs doesn't mean I'm going to suck your dick lol. I get told im ugly, fat WTF lol I think a thank you but no thank you is acceptable.
  • Scriven

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    Aug 24, 2011 1:49 AM GMT
    bosjock90 saidI hear you OP ... it's sad, because I used to respond to compliments with a sincere "Thank you".


    Seriously, if you complimented someone and they said "thank you," how could you possibly interpret that as a sign of disinterest?
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    Aug 24, 2011 1:56 AM GMT
    atljoe75 saidSome will get mad regardless of how you handle it. I met a guy for coffee once and just completely found no chemistry. I told him at the end in what I felt was a nice way that I just found no chemistry, and wouldn't led him on. I thought it was much nicer than avoiding someones calls or blocking them. Well regardless my first name was BITCH after that as far as he was concerned. lol Still I think it was better than playing games. Getting disappointed rejected and let downs part of dating.


    I think handling it well comes with maturity because I have a hard time believing a mature person would start calling you names and stuff over honesty like that.