HIV/STI Question

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2011 9:52 PM GMT
    WARNING: TMI BELOW

    Ok so I've only been sexually active for a few months (Feb-June). I've waited a long time to be with guys and this February I finally decided to experiment and see what is out there. I discovered the shady world of craigslist and once I got a taste of it, I couldn't stop. In such a short time, I became a slut. icon_sad.gif In 4 months, I've been with a total of 10 guys.

    5 guys was sex (all of which I topped and wore a condom, one guy I had sex with twice), only with two guys I came inside the condom and the pulled out, the other things I did was making out, mutual oral and jerk off. As for oral, the we never wore condoms, but none of them came in mouth. However, for a few of them, I may have tasted a bit of pre-cum but nothing major.

    This past Monday I had my first HIV/STI test at Planned Parenthood and it came back negative (THANK GOD!!) but the nurse said I was still in the three month window period and there is a 10% chance it could turn positive. icon_sad.gif

    My last hook up with a guy (which wasn't sex was June 27th). Do I have anything to worry about? I really don't think I had open sores in my mouth or anything like that. The last time I had sex was in June, but the condom didn't break, I topped, I didn't cum, there was no blood or anything like that. I think I am just panicking, idk. Also, does this mean that I am in the clear from everything I did from Feb-May?? This is scary as shit? I have been a wreck for weeks and out of nowhere a few weeks ago it occurred to me that I had to get tested and I convinced myself that I got infected. My next test is Sept. 28th and my knot is in a stomach because I am not convinced I am negative.

    I am done with craigslist and if I am negative, I am going to wait for a relationship before I have sex or anything sexually related again. Any advice or info anyone here might have would be greatly appreciated. I scare myself googling stuff, so I figured I'd post here and Planned Parenthood hates picking up the phone.

    Thanks guys.
  • jim_sf

    Posts: 2094

    Aug 24, 2011 10:11 PM GMT
    Welcome to RJ. You're panicking. Please take a few moments to breathe deep.

    All sex carries some risk, but you're doing a pretty good job of mitigating that risk - you're wearing a condom when you top, there's no semen in mouths, there's no blood anywhere, and no condoms have broken. The 10% figure the nurse cited is a statistical measure of the HIV test's accuracy for recent infections; the nurse was not lecturing you on how awful you've been, nor was the nurse saying that there's a 10% chance you're going to wither away from AIDS next week.

    I can't argue the "no craigslist" bit, but you should not feel terrified just because you had (safer!) sex.
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Aug 24, 2011 10:11 PM GMT
    I would quit worrying if I were you. You wore condoms during anal intercourse so you've mitigated the riskiest behavior. Oral sex has a very low risk of HIV transmission although other STI's are possible.
  • Glorfindel

    Posts: 277

    Aug 24, 2011 10:21 PM GMT
    Pretty much what everyone else has said. Stop worrying. You're freaking yourself out and there's no need to. It's highly unlikely that you contracted anything. Highly highly unlikely.

    One other way to tell is that HIV infection is not without initial symptoms. If you had gotten infected, you would have come down with flu-like symptoms shortly after infection such as fever, aches, ague, sniffles, sore throat, etc.

    Though now I'm sure that freaks you out even more and you're going to think the slightest sneeze is a sign of infection. icon_confused.gif

    Relax, man, you're fine. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2011 10:50 PM GMT
    Glorfindel saidPretty much what everyone else has said. Stop worrying. You're freaking yourself out and there's no need to. It's highly unlikely that you contracted anything. Highly highly unlikely.

    One other way to tell is that HIV infection is not without initial symptoms. If you had gotten infected, you would have come down with flu-like symptoms shortly after infection such as fever, aches, ague, sniffles, sore throat, etc.

    Though now I'm sure that freaks you out even more and you're going to think the slightest sneeze is a sign of infection. icon_confused.gif

    Relax, man, you're fine. icon_smile.gif


    Well I am always sick, which I was makes this very difficult. I have a chronic sinus condition, and I also suffer from migraines. I also have an anxiety/depression disorder. So needless to say, most of the time, I feel like crap and fatigued; so getting flu-like symptoms is nothing new for me.

    However, I rarely get sore throats, which I currently have and I rarely get fevers, but from time to time I have been known to get low-grade fevers.

    There was an incident in mid-April where for a week my entire body broke out in hives for no reason, head to toes (but mostly my stomach and inner thigh area) but I got them on my hand and feet too). Normally, anxiety causes hives, but I never got them before from stress, and nothing out of the ordinary from food or laundry occurred; it was quite strange. It lasted only a week. Then the end of April, I had a really high fever of almost 105, the Dr. said I had a stomach virus, but I guess he could of been mistaken, how the hell was he supposed to guess HIV,he doesn't even know I'm gay.

    But the thing is, this all occurred in April, and I just tested negative, so that means I'm good right? The window period is over? Nothing that happened from Feb-May can turn positive? Ugh, this is so confusing!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2011 10:57 PM GMT
    I agree with everyone else above you're fine.I think part of yr panic is internalized homophobia - ie the straight worlds brainwashing that being gay is bad and dirty and u will die of aids if u have gay sex. Stay safe, continue having safer sex and protecting yrself EVERY time!
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    Aug 24, 2011 11:20 PM GMT
    GeminiHeart said
    Well I am always sick, which I was makes this very difficult. I have a chronic sinus condition, and I also suffer from migraines.
    Totally unrelated to your post theme, but are you around any environmental danger situations such as mold and dust blowing through an air conditioning system? These things have been known to generate sinus problems and migraines.

    As far as the theme of this post, don't play doctor. Be patient with negative expectations because your MO sounds like you generally did things with safety in mind. Go out and find a BF and continue to do things with safety in mind. The only person who cares about your health as much as you would be your mother.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2011 11:51 PM GMT
    It doesn't matter if you meet someone on Craigs List, Adam4Adam, RJ, or the church barbeque. Anyone you meet anywhere could pose a possible risk. This includes people who say they have never been with anyone before ( yes people lie to make themselves look better ). Take precautions, be careful, and you should be fine. Resolutions like I'm never going to mess around with anyone " till I'm in a relationship " can be the first to fly out the window once someone flashes their baby blues ( or browns ) at you and you are stricken. Good luck icon_biggrin.gif
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Aug 25, 2011 12:19 AM GMT
    I only survived the AIDS epidemic because I lived in Bugtussle. When I moved out of Bugtussle and into the gay candy store I was just like you. I got even less careless though and threw away the condoms. Three of the guys I fucked around with are now HIV+. I'm not though, to put things into perspective. You're aware of the dangers and taking precautions. You'll be fine. Just be more selective. Only fuck them if they're extaordinarily hot, othewise you'll be halfway there and thinking "I'd rather be jacking off."
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Aug 25, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    what? oops.... even more careless ..I meant
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2011 12:36 AM GMT
    GeminiHeart said
    Glorfindel saidPretty much what everyone else has said. Stop worrying. You're freaking yourself out and there's no need to. It's highly unlikely that you contracted anything. Highly highly unlikely.

    One other way to tell is that HIV infection is not without initial symptoms. If you had gotten infected, you would have come down with flu-like symptoms shortly after infection such as fever, aches, ague, sniffles, sore throat, etc.

    Though now I'm sure that freaks you out even more and you're going to think the slightest sneeze is a sign of infection. icon_confused.gif

    Relax, man, you're fine. icon_smile.gif


    Well I am always sick, which I was makes this very difficult. I have a chronic sinus condition, and I also suffer from migraines. I also have an anxiety/depression disorder. So needless to say, most of the time, I feel like crap and fatigued; so getting flu-like symptoms is nothing new for me.

    However, I rarely get sore throats, which I currently have and I rarely get fevers, but from time to time I have been known to get low-grade fevers.

    There was an incident in mid-April where for a week my entire body broke out in hives for no reason, head to toes (but mostly my stomach and inner thigh area) but I got them on my hand and feet too). Normally, anxiety causes hives, but I never got them before from stress, and nothing out of the ordinary from food or laundry occurred; it was quite strange. It lasted only a week. Then the end of April, I had a really high fever of almost 105, the Dr. said I had a stomach virus, but I guess he could of been mistaken, how the hell was he supposed to guess HIV,he doesn't even know I'm gay.

    But the thing is, this all occurred in April, and I just tested negative, so that means I'm good right? The window period is over? Nothing that happened from Feb-May can turn positive? Ugh, this is so confusing!


    Well HIV has a way longer latency period than a few weeks. You wouldn't feel any symptoms of it until way later. Also 10% isn't much to hold on to. One in seven people develop cancer in their lifetimes, but you aren't running out getting CAT scans are you?

    Calm down man. You're going to be ok. Condoms are never fail proof even with guys not on craigslist.
  • jperfit

    Posts: 593

    Aug 25, 2011 12:38 AM GMT
    I dont get how dudes could BB, it almost seems they don't care, I see these profiles on many other sites and it is just unbelievable.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2011 12:42 AM GMT
    Like the OP I am so hesitant to have sex because of fear of getting anything.

    I've met this guy (not hookup) and even the first time we kissed I kind of panicked a little. Last week we got a little further and I had oral sex with him (mutual). Nothing anal happened, just oral. And although it felt good, I worried for days afterwards.

    If you have oral with a guy, should you get tested? How often should one get tested? What the hell do I even ask for at the doctors office, STD testing???

    Like the OP, I am freaking out a little.
    Unlike the OP, I would never ever hook up with anyone, especially from Craigslist.
  • mv03

    Posts: 201

    Aug 25, 2011 12:43 AM GMT
    Your risk bbing WITHOUT a condom, with someone who is positive and NOT on meds is .00065, or .065%....Much less than 1%. You're fine. Other stds you should be fine with too, but it's still possible. Educate yourself on the body.com. Take it as a learning opportunity icon_cool.gif
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    Aug 25, 2011 12:47 AM GMT
    laguy777 saidI agree with everyone else above you're fine.I think part of yr panic is internalized homophobia - ie the straight worlds brainwashing that being gay is bad and dirty and u will die of aids if u have gay sex. Stay safe, continue having safer sex and protecting yrself EVERY time!


    I couldn't agree more, having experienced it myself. The fear in itself is probably the absolute worst feeling. It brings forth all strong psychosomatic stuff. Your mind is a very powerful thing.

    Stop worrying as I don't see anything that you did would put you in direct danger.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2011 12:49 AM GMT
    mv03 saidYour risk bbing WITHOUT a condom, with someone who is positive and NOT on meds is .00065, or .065%....Much less than 1%. You're fine. Other stds you should be fine with too, but it's still possible. Educate yourself on the body.com. Take it as a learning opportunity icon_cool.gif


    Yes. But you should give him the right link.

    http://www.thebody.com/

    Again, stop worrying.