Hooking Up At A Gay Bar

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2011 1:21 PM GMT
    Any suggestions on how to do so, especially alone? My female friend and I are traveling this weekend after our college classes to visit her girlfriend, but my friend is under 21 so they will be staying in. I've decided that I would be willing to go to a bar alone solely for a one-night stand.

    The idea of a one-night stand is a mixed bag for me. I used to think it was skanky, and many of my queer college buds have thought so as well. But I've come to realize it's my decision, and I shouldn't let others dictate what I want. The problem is, I've only hooked up like one other time and I was newly out of the closet, so bedroom performance was quite embarrassing cos I was so nervous.

    With all this in mind, any suggestions how to approach men at a bar? The place I want to go to is a bar/club for gay men, and there is a dance floor. It is easy to talk to someone there, but I'm not the best at approaching. I could wait for another guy to approach me, but I'm not the kind to wait for long. I go after what I want most of the time.

    And for those who have hooked up, how do you put it in your mind that this is just sex and nothing more. I used to get attached to guys I've been with, but the hard truth of life has made me more realistic.

    Thanks!
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Aug 25, 2011 2:22 PM GMT
    AlwaysDreaming11 said
    With all this in mind, any suggestions how to approach men at a bar?


    Drink a lot and let your natural instincts take over.
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    Aug 25, 2011 3:16 PM GMT
    Drink alot to loosen up and just let the night takeover! Don't exchange numbers and don't ask for a last name... Then they'll be no way you could get attached :-)
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    Aug 25, 2011 4:30 PM GMT
    How about....

    "Hi, (extend your hand)..my name is Blah..Blah..Blah..can I buy you a drink?"

    If he resonds yes...cool....if not...I'm sure there will be other alcoholic's there that will take you up on your offer...

    DO NOT DRINK YOURSELF! You have to be sober to drive to the dudes house, and yourself home.

    Remember, bars are full of easy guys that are mostly there because they can't deal with life without alcohol...so, just keep buying him drinks until he's drunk, then, do what you want....icon_twisted.gif

    There is a bar here in Dallas that I go to if I'm really horned up....if you go after 1:00am, then, everyone is drunk and I can take my pick. So, try to keep that in mind and go late..

    If you're trying to pick up gay guys, don't hang around with a bunch of tits..or guys will think you are straight. The plus side is...drunk straight guys will be around and you can just buy them beer, then, when they are drunk enough, you can do what you want.....it's easy.....icon_twisted.gif

    SERIOUSLY......don't go to bars....you are cute, young and you seem to have alot going for you....are there no other ways you can hook up? Put an ad up on this thing called the internet...look around at school...ask a buddy to hook you up with a friend....answer some ads...talk to guys at the gym...call a gay hook up chat line....join some sports or activity clubs....
    check out the Craigslist....check out dudes at the coffeshop.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2011 4:34 PM GMT
    I went out late on Friday night and someone slipped GHB in my drink. I have never been drugged by someone before.

    Never, ever lose control of yoru drink even if it isn't alcohol. Luckily, I was leaving anyway and the effects were strongest when I got home, but it was not a good scene.

    Be careful... and safety first!
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    Aug 25, 2011 4:37 PM GMT
    ohioguy12 said
    AlwaysDreaming11 said
    With all this in mind, any suggestions how to approach men at a bar?


    Drink a lot and let your natural instincts take over.
    Or better yet, sit next to some guy and let him buy your drinks for you. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2011 4:38 PM GMT
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HERESERIOUSLY......don't go to bars....you are cute, young and you seem to have alot going for you....are there no other ways you can hook up?


    Thanks for the concerns. It just seems like a fun thing to do in my mind. But it's true: it's also dangerous. I think I also enough street smarts to handle what comes my way.

    And I wouldn't even be thinking about doing this if there were more nice, attractive gay guys in Iowa. But around my area, the numbers are quite limited and I have needs! Or at least strong desires.

    I've only picked up a guy like once before, so this all intrigues and even worries me.
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    Aug 25, 2011 4:47 PM GMT
    Dont get your hopes up too high.. A lot of guys looking for hook ups at bars have been around a few times and you are fresh meat. the second you walk in the bar you will probably know what kind night you are gonna have.

    If you really want to hook up be cool. get a few drinks and get some small talk going. before you know...icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 25, 2011 5:09 PM GMT
    Whatever you do, please be SAFE.
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Aug 25, 2011 6:07 PM GMT
    I can totally understand where you're coming from.
    You're young, horny, and live in an area where there are few or no gay social outlets, and there aren't even guys close by on the internet.

    I was in the same situation as a young gay man (except for the internet thing, which didn't exist - but they had invented the wheel at the time.)

    Scared as fuck the first time I went into a gay bar - but I had to do it, it was the only way to meet other gay men.

    Just be yourself, be friendly, and show interest in the other guys. Make eye contact, if it's returned, and the guy seems approachable, go talk to him.

    Have a drink, so you fit in, but don't get drunk. Stay in contol - and, drunk sex isn't very good.

    You're young and good looking - so guys will notice you. Just enjoy the evening, if it happens, it happens, and if not - it's not the end of the world, they'll be other opportunities - and play safely - that includes not going with someone questionable or to strange places.
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Aug 25, 2011 6:13 PM GMT
    Hey-- enjoy it and don't think less of yourself for it. It's not "skanky" at all. You'll find someone cute and you'll have a great time. Be smart and play safe.
  • JDean

    Posts: 166

    Aug 25, 2011 6:23 PM GMT
    ohioguy12 said
    AlwaysDreaming11 said
    With all this in mind, any suggestions how to approach men at a bar?


    Drink a lot and let your natural instincts take over.



    this was my exact thought. enough liquor and magic happens.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 25, 2011 6:28 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]KingBee38 said[..Remember, bars are full of easy guys that are mostly there because they can't deal with life without alcohol...so, just keep buying him drinks until he's drunk, then, do what you want....icon_twisted.gif

    There is a bar here in Dallas that I go to if I'm really horned up....if you go after 1:00am, then, everyone is drunk and I can take my pick. So, try to keep that in mind and go late.....[/quote]

    before i met my current man, i would hit the gay bars on early saturday am, on the way home, after working the 4 pm to midnight shift on friday night.

    like 38, i could take home just about any cute, drunk, gay guy i wanted at 1 or 2 am.

    often i didn't get to my haus until 8 or 9 am, saturday morning.

    icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2011 10:22 PM GMT
    Hothouse saidI can totally understand where you're coming from.
    You're young, horny, and live in an area where there are few or no gay social outlets, and there aren't even guys close by on the internet.


    Yep, that's exactly it lol. I'm horny all the damn time! I was joking with a friend, and said I need to get laid soon. She's been getting some, and I've been feeling so envious. But my dick doesn't rule me. icon_wink.gif