this may be a matter every gay expericed

  • weidingxian

    Posts: 18

    Aug 28, 2011 5:19 AM GMT
    i am a gay from china ,my english may not be good but try ur best to understand.
    i knew i am gay so long time ago,maybe when i was 8 or so.
    the fact that i am gay didnt bother me untill 13,when i had a crush on a boy.from then on i just knew i am different from others.i wondered how come i love boys instead of girls,i didnt know there are other gays in this world too.
    whenever i think of my future it just tortures me .i can just see a man cooking for himself and eating alone.have u ever felt that way too people . plz tell me what i should do.
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    Aug 28, 2011 5:21 AM GMT
    I cook for myself, eat by myself, and live by myself, but I very seldom feel alone.
    And, you are not alone. There is a whole world out there that you have not experienced yet, and they are just like you. icon_biggrin.gif
  • weidingxian

    Posts: 18

    Aug 28, 2011 5:41 AM GMT
    i have seen a lot of american gay movies,they give me an impression that gays like to get a fuck buddy when feeling horny.and after that they just leave each other and go back to their normal life without asking what his name is.i know a lot of gays who are still single or divorced with his wife. i have a feeling that gays never have a destiny.if there is only one living in a house can we call it a home?
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    Aug 28, 2011 3:59 PM GMT
    I am just shocked to see an 18 year old posting a serious question and not using sparkling pink fonts, half-naked bondies, and GIFs and going "hayyy".

    Oh wait, he is from china. That explains.

    Anyway, I dont know answer to your question. I would love to hear what other men have to say too. There are a lot of smart people here.
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    Aug 28, 2011 4:04 PM GMT
    Everyone is afraid of being alone, even people who have wives. You can be around a lot of people and still be very alone.

    Some people do just have sex with other men, because they want to and some grow out of it and some do not. You can choose which type of person you want to be.
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    Aug 28, 2011 4:23 PM GMT
    adam228 saidEveryone is afraid of being alone, even people who have wives. You can be around a lot of people and still be very alone.


    But you have to agree that more gay men are single than their straight counterparts. I see a lot more 40+ single gay men.
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    Aug 28, 2011 5:37 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI cook for myself, eat by myself, and live by myself, but I very seldom feel alone.
    And, you are not alone. There is a whole world out there that you have not experienced yet, and they are just like you. icon_biggrin.gif


    + 1. I would also say to make as many good, quality friends as you can. They will help you get through any tough times you will face. Also, do not feel that you have to keep everything bottled up inside...talk to someone. The fact that you posting this message and reading the responses should tell you that there are people out there who are willing to listen and give you encouragement.
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    Aug 28, 2011 5:50 PM GMT
    weidingxian saidi have seen a lot of american gay movies,they give me an impression that gays like to get a fuck buddy when feeling horny.and after that they just leave each other and go back to their normal life without asking what his name is.i know a lot of gays who are still single or divorced with his wife. i have a feeling that gays never have a destiny.if there is only one living in a house can we call it a home?
    Some like to get random fuck buddies. I prefer friends with benefits. The difference is that friends have names, personalities, and are enjoyable to be around even when we're not in the bedroom. All of my friends with benefits have outlasted every live-in relationship I've ever had.

    It's easy to call a place home when you live by yourself. When you live with someone else, it changes the entire dynamic of the relationship, and commonly ends in disaster...especially if you only move in together because you feel insecure living alone. That subconscious insecurity will surface, and be the underlying cause of most of the relationship problems.
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    Aug 28, 2011 7:19 PM GMT
    asian culture vales the traditional family a lot more than the west does, so this poor kid must think there is no other way to live if u dont have a family.


    everything revolves around family... I could see how u would become depressed given the pressures from chinese society to conform and have a family so when u get older that family will take care of u.


    dont worry tho, you'll find ur way. it'll work itself out, you're only 18, u still have lots of growing up to do...i do too
  • weidingxian

    Posts: 18

    Sep 03, 2011 10:59 AM GMT
    i live happily now as long as i dont think about it so much,becuase i am only 18 and my parents are not presuring me to date a girl yet.but as i get older yet dont have a girlfirend ,they will do it. i dont know what to do when they really presure me to date a girl. what is worse ,i can not come out to them becuse they are illiterate and they have little knowledge about gay people. they dont even know there are gays existing in this world.
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    Sep 03, 2011 11:03 AM GMT
    Advaya saidI am just shocked to see an 18 year old posting a serious question and not using sparkling pink fonts, half-naked bondies, and GIFs and going "hayyy".
    1209341s4c07wdip7.gif
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    Sep 03, 2011 11:10 AM GMT
    If you find it's difficult living as a gay man in your country, maybe you could consider moving elsewhere some day.
    There are many people from China who live in Canada, especially in the big cities where there are also many gay people.

    Just remember that there's a whole world with 6 billion people on it to discover, and it may be difficult but it is possible to find a boyfriend who will share the same family values as you do and might even want to get married and adopt children.
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    Sep 03, 2011 2:41 PM GMT
    weidingxian saidi live happily now as long as i dont think about it so much,becuase i am only 18 and my parents are not presuring me to date a girl yet.but as i get older yet dont have a girlfirend ,they will do it. i dont know what to do when they really presure me to date a girl. what is worse ,i can not come out to them becuse they are illiterate and they have little knowledge about gay people. they dont even know there are gays existing in this world.

    I feel the exact same way
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    Sep 03, 2011 7:08 PM GMT
    adam228 saidEveryone is afraid of being alone lonely, even people who have wives. You can be around a lot of people and still be very alone.


    Fixed
    The fear is not to be by one's self, but to be unloved.