When did you tell your kids you were gay

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 28, 2011 5:36 AM GMT
    Got young teenage kids who are not too happy about the breakup. Think I should let the dust settle before dropping another bomb on them. Wondering how other dads handled it.
  • CincyBOJ

    Posts: 306

    Aug 28, 2011 6:03 AM GMT
    I was lucky, my kids were 6, 5 and 1.5 when I told them. One thing I've learned, honesty is best with your children. They need to be able to fully trust their parents. Good luck.
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    Aug 28, 2011 12:00 PM GMT
    I waited until some time had passed before I told mine. I felt the same as the OP, that the emotions were raw enough about the breakup between their mom and me, and adding my own true confessions on it would have been a bit much for them to handle.

    I waited until we were on a long car trip together and I had them "captive". It could not have gone better. I just said that I wanted them to understand why we split and it was because I was gay. My daughter said "good for you, Dad!", and my son said "Ok, cool. Can I go back to my Nintendo, now?" I also told them that it was completely up to them who (if anyone) they told.

    Teens (mine are 18 & 15) will be much more accepting, because in most cases, it's not a big deal to them. I would wait until they seem to be in a better place. They'll bounce back quickly. Good luck!
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    Aug 28, 2011 12:02 PM GMT
    My son was barely 13 when I told both him and his mother together. She shreiked..his words "Well, Duh!"

    A few rough years with her - never a problem with my son. Every child is different

    If they are in their teens...they probably have figured it out
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    Aug 29, 2011 1:46 AM GMT
    Hey thanks for the input guys. Don't think my kids have any idea cause I am pretty staight acting. Don't have a bf and they have not seen me around gay men. But I can do a pretty mean flower arrangement icon_smile.gif. Think I may wait till the divorce is finalized.
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    Aug 29, 2011 1:53 AM GMT
    I have no children, but I told my nephew (emotionally as close as a son) when he was 11.
    Got lots of backlash from the family, but I told them to go fuck themselves...he didn't care, and still loves his "uncle Paul" at age 22. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 29, 2011 1:56 AM GMT
    TriAthInCA saidGot young teenage kids who are not too happy about the breakup. Think I should let the dust settle before dropping another bomb on them. Wondering how other dads handled it.



    tell your kids sooner rather than later. Better to create a large wound than to create a slightly smaller one and then picking at the scab. They don't care that you're gay, they care that you're not with their mom. Who (other than her) you choose to be with is a very small part of the equation. It will probably even shorten the road to forgiveness because they will realize that the decision was the result of a force beyond your control.
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    Aug 29, 2011 3:47 AM GMT
    I told my kids when they were 13 & 15. It had been 4 years after the divorce (because she was having an affair).

    no real problems. they see that I am happy.