Friendship dilemma

  • geebus

    Posts: 216

    May 08, 2008 2:46 PM GMT
    I'm moving this weekend but I also have a lot of uni work due next week. I asked all my closest friends to give me a hand, but one of them decides the idea (without reason) and also tells others that he won't be be helping.

    Now two more of my friends don't want to help. So I ask him why and he responds with "helping someone move is really tiring, if you want me to help, pay me $30 an hour". I told him that it was ridiculous and jokingly suggested that out frinedship must be worth more than $30, to which he answered "per hour".

    The mere fact that he can hurt me so much shows how much I care about this friendship, but how can I deal with someone who's only in it for the good times and not stick around when I need help?


    As a background story, when I was young I loved being on neopets, I saw it as a money making game and did really well in it. Until said friend decided to hack my account and give away all my neopoints (money used in neopets). It took so long for me to recover from that emotionally, and my (then) girlfriend played a huge role in helping me.

    This is COMPOUNDED when my family realizes they can't handle so much stress and decides to lash out on me. I actually had to go play sports to get my mind off of it.

    Any response would be nice. I'm normally no where near this level of emo-ness, but when it rains it pours, I guess.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2008 3:20 PM GMT
    I think you have answered you own question on this. Why are you continuing to associate with someone like this. Good friends are there for you during good times and the bad times. This guy obviously has no interest in being a real friend.

    Unless, that is, you've asked him for favours in the past?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2008 5:36 PM GMT
    I'm with RHG on this one. Friends should never come at a price, and if it comes to that, then they're not your true friends.

    Really sorry to hear this too because real friends are very hard to come by.

    I hope moving isn't too much of a pain for ya buddy. And sorry to hear about family issues too.

    Just remember, this too...shall pass.
  • geebus

    Posts: 216

    May 09, 2008 12:59 AM GMT
    thanks guys. It just that we're in a close group of friends, and whenever there's a gathering, he's always there.

    And no, actually, I've been playing the role of driver for him for a while now, in fact once I had to get up from my bed to drive him from his uni back to his house.

    lol, the more I say, the more how I see your point, redhead, perhaps it really is time to cut the strings

    thanks, musclebud, I realise life is full of highs and lows, but sometimes I wish it'd just be a smooth ride icon_razz.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 09, 2008 1:04 AM GMT
    There's a difference between a friend and an acquaintance. He's not your friend. Don't extend yourself for him ever.
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    May 09, 2008 1:47 AM GMT
    oh he aint a mate!

    A mate will help you move, a mate, will help you in a fight with some knob, a mate will get you totally pissed when you've just broken up with someone and he wont ever mention the fact that you cried like a baby and he'll give you a good whack across the back of the head when you start being a dick head.

    A mate is someone who gives a damn about you.

    No, what you described is not a mate. More a dick head who needs to get his head whacked with a baseball bat!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 10, 2008 1:47 AM GMT
    He ain't a friend; he's a user. Tell him to FO.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    May 10, 2008 3:42 AM GMT
    There is a definition of friend and I'm sorry to say, he doesn't fit it.

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    May 10, 2008 3:54 AM GMT
    Your "friend" sounds like a loser. Who charges there friends to move. Cut him loose. You have the circle of friends....so what. Im sure they are aware of his ways. You dont need someone like that in your life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 10, 2008 3:57 AM GMT
    A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend will help you move the body.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2008 12:07 PM GMT
    A friend will visit you in jail, a real friend will be there in the cell with you saying, "Boy wasn't that fun!"

    Geebus, I suggest you forget about it. When your friends who desert you need help, ignore them.



  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 04, 2008 12:49 PM GMT
    A real friend is one who values the trust and faith you place in them, for them to lash out and make inappropriate or devaluing comments shows that that person has issues or has no value in your friendship.

    In this case, I'd get new friends. This is ridiculous.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Jun 04, 2008 2:12 PM GMT
    Skip the Socrates and be an asshole back until you've repelled him far enough for him to fall off a cliff.
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    Jun 04, 2008 2:56 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidoh he aint a mate!

    A mate will help you move, a mate, will help you in a fight with some knob, a mate will get you totally pissed when you've just broken up with someone and he wont ever mention the fact that you cried like a baby and he'll give you a good whack across the back of the head when you start being a dick head.

    A mate is someone who gives a damn about you.

    No, what you described is not a mate. More a dick head who needs to get his head whacked with a baseball bat!


    you said it