Confused!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 28, 2011 8:22 PM GMT
    I'm relatively new to the site and I guess I don't fully understand how things work on here. Is there some unspoken law of the land for interaction between guys on here? If a guy's profile says "feel free to message me" am I wrong for doing just that? If I hotlist a guy, why would he meet my actions with suspicion instead of taking it as a simple compliment. I don't know what the men on here looking for because it's definitely not what they say on their profiles. Are most of the guys on here just jackasses (as has been typical of my past interactions with gay and bisexual men) or am I just too ingenuous? Please fill me in.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 28, 2011 8:24 PM GMT
    Welcome to teh intarwebz. Occasionally you'll find a human here.
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    Aug 28, 2011 9:24 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidWelcome to teh intarwebz. Occasionally you'll find a human here.


    Yea, I bet about as often as Halley's comet.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Aug 28, 2011 10:24 PM GMT
    1. "Feel free to message me"= Anyone can message me, but I'll only respond if you're hot.

    2. There are a bunch of threads that show people think hot lists usually have hidden, rather than a simple compliment, I don't understand it either.

    3. A lot of guys are sluts, but don't want to show it in their profile, so they say they are just "looking for friends."

    4. I wouldn't say the majority of guys on here are jackasses, but with every community, you have your jackasses, but also there are a lot of cool people.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Aug 29, 2011 2:30 AM GMT
    There are some crazies on any dating website. You ran into one maybe. It's a hazard for internet dating sites. There are gems amongst the losers and crazies, and they are rare, but my current bf is a guy I met online.
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    Aug 29, 2011 2:32 AM GMT
    Welcum to the Real Jock men icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 29, 2011 2:33 AM GMT
    ohioguy12 said1. "Feel free to message me"= Anyone can message me, but I'll only respond if you're hot.

    2. There are a bunch of threads that show people think hot lists usually have hidden, rather than a simple compliment, I don't understand it either.

    3. A lot of guys are sluts, but don't want to show it in their profile, so they say they are just "looking for friends."

    4. I wouldn't say the majority of guys on here are jackasses, but with every community, you have your jackasses, but also there are a lot of cool people.



    :C ... damn haha .. i dun agree about Number 2 ..... cuz am really looking for friends :S ( Faithful ones lol)
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 29, 2011 2:33 AM GMT
    Not really sure what you mean. I try and always be friendly and appreciative when I get a compliment or am hotlisted. I assume most would be.
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    Aug 29, 2011 2:34 AM GMT
    datislandboy said
    paulflexes saidWelcome to teh intarwebz. Occasionally you'll find a human here.


    Yea, I bet about as often as Halley's comet.
    Wow, you're more optimistic than I am! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 29, 2011 2:36 AM GMT
    It has happened once or twice to me...but not recently...
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    Aug 29, 2011 2:37 AM GMT
    Trust me, Ive met a lot of assholes on here.... but also a lot of very polite nice men too.... When you ask for help on here, they begin reaching out en masse.. it ws a very touching experience for me when they did that
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    Aug 29, 2011 2:37 AM GMT
    Razdeleno saidIt has happened once or twice to me...but not recently...


    Cuz maybe u r really cute icon_razz.gif ?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 29, 2011 2:38 AM GMT
    For me its all about the effort you put in to contacting me. I take hot lists as compliments and will send back a thank you. I don't always carry the conversation on for more than a few messages, but if a guy legitimately seems interested in getting to know me I will not hesitate to respond. However, if I get really impersonal messages like "What's up? Here's my #" or even worse "You want to s my d?" When people are that blatantly looking for sex I don't waste my time responding....but yeah some people are dicks, you just have to know that you are better off with out them.
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    Aug 29, 2011 3:20 AM GMT
    GreenHopper saidTrust me, Ive met a lot of assholes on here.... but also a lot of very polite nice men too.... When you ask for help on here, they begin reaching out en masse.. it ws a very touching experience for me when they did that


    GreenHopper is one of the nicest guys here on RJ, and what do you know, he's good-looking human as well! Who would've thought that's possible in the gay world?! icon_eek.gif


    To OP: I would say look at how many mutual buddies they have. If they have a lot, that means they are willing to engage in interesting conversations with interesting people (and hopefully that's you). If they have a very small buddylist that look like it's consisted of Abercrombie and Fitch models, chances are they won't respond unless you also look like those fitness models. I usually stay away from those profiles like a plague.

    A few more pointers:

    1. Like others said, don't do one liners. If you say "sup" or "how are you", there really is nothing to respond to that.

    2. If you would like to meet a guy, take time to read his profile, read what he posted, and get a sense of his personality, interests, likes and dislikes. These things help conversations go a very long way. Obviously if you don't share common interests, the conversation will just stop.

    3. Post often and write interesting or insightful things. Try to be yourself as much as you can. If people like what you write, they will contact you as well. Hopefully it's a good looking guy. Yes there are good looking guys who appreciate a good mind in this site.

    4. Take time to buildup your reputation here. RJ is a social site so intelligence, lightheartedness, and humor together will carry you a long way. The key is to know that there are topics that are for serious posts, and there are threads that is designed for a little fun and banter. Know the difference in those threads. If it's a serious topic then obviously try your best to contribute and offer insightful solutions and such. If it's a lighthearted thread then you can crack some context-specific jokes. It'll make good impression with people.

    OK hope this helps! Oh, welcome to RJ. icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 29, 2011 3:22 AM GMT
    The guy above me is also a helluva nice guy and is deffo worth getting to know. ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 29, 2011 3:23 AM GMT
    alphatrigger saidThe guy above me is also a helluva nice guy and is deffo worth getting to know. ;)


    icon_biggrin.gif So are you.
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    Aug 29, 2011 3:23 AM GMT
    Cityaznguy said
    alphatrigger saidThe guy above me is also a helluva nice guy and is deffo worth getting to know. ;)


    icon_biggrin.gif So are you.

    You both are. icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 29, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Cityaznguy said
    alphatrigger saidThe guy above me is also a helluva nice guy and is deffo worth getting to know. ;)


    icon_biggrin.gif So are you.

    You both are. icon_wink.gif

    icon_biggrin.gif So is my favorite pilot!
  • PRDGUY

    Posts: 641

    Aug 29, 2011 3:26 AM GMT
    Sometimes I am on several sites at once and miss an IM.... nothing personal as if I am here I always respond. I believe we have more good people here than on other site....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 29, 2011 3:41 AM GMT
    tel de man to haul he scunt ih he do dah icon_razz.gif j/k
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 29, 2011 3:42 AM GMT
    Cityaznguy said
    paulflexes said
    Cityaznguy said
    alphatrigger saidThe guy above me is also a helluva nice guy and is deffo worth getting to know. ;)


    icon_biggrin.gif So are you.

    You both are. icon_wink.gif

    icon_biggrin.gif So is my favorite pilot!


    Pssss, yo man, dem two up hea dem, dey be good fellas nuh icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 29, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    Cityaznguy said
    GreenHopper is one of the nicest guys here on RJ, and what do you know, he's good-looking human as well! Who would've thought that's possible in the gay world?! icon_eek.gif
    >


    One of??? I am THE nicest guy on here bitch!!! icon_razz.gif Just ask Simghur lol

    j/k, the nicest guy I think is you ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 29, 2011 12:44 PM GMT
    this is like the nice guy thread icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 29, 2011 2:39 PM GMT
    ohioguy12 said1. "Feel free to message me"= Anyone can message me, but I'll only respond if you're hot.

    2. There are a bunch of threads that show people think hot lists usually have hidden, rather than a simple compliment, I don't understand it either.

    3. A lot of guys are sluts, but don't want to show it in their profile, so they say they are just "looking for friends."

    4. I wouldn't say the majority of guys on here are jackasses, but with every community, you have your jackasses, but also there are a lot of cool people.



    You summed it up pretty nicely.

    I usually respond to everyone. Provided that they have their own pic and something on their profile to compliment back on.
  • RHUK

    Posts: 273

    Aug 29, 2011 9:19 PM GMT
    GreenHopper saidtel de man to haul he scunt ih he do dah icon_razz.gif j/k


    I really enjoy your creolese, I wanna give you a prize.


    The the OP, I think its just pretty hit and miss whether peope will message you back, or engage in conversation with you. If they have more forum activity, theyre more likely to check their messages every day and respond. There are some jackasses, but there are plenty of great guys on here too.