tereseus1 saidSo feel free to drop your own opinions and please do not mention the issue of race as a factor as id hate to believe that can possible be a cause especially in this day and age.
I can't drop my opinions if I cannot mention something that you feel is hard to believe.
But fact is, regardless of what one may believe, and feel how far things have come along one cannot ignore it as if it does not exist. And you have to use that to your advantage.
You have to remember that most of the gay scene is still very segregated. That's why I find my success with people who aren't in the gay lifestyle versus people who are are drastically different. They're not conformed into this, "all I see when I go out with my (fill in race) friends is other (fill in race) and I've also never dated a (fill in race) guy so not sure how my friends would feel about me dating a (fill in race) guy.
When I used to hangout regularly with a group of gay friends of various races, I would hear it all the time about how they wouldn't date this or that guy because of race. Not even taking into consideration the variations that exist. I'm almost convinced that some gay guys will dismiss someone on race before anything else WHEN it comes to dating. Sex and friends and hanging out is different. But attempt to take it to the next level and they can't see beyond that.
But with that fact that you're in NYC, you have more leverage than a lot of these southern and western states that still have Jim Crow mentality. Black clubs, Black nights, White clubs, Latin nights...all that segregation stuff in the gay community makes it hard to really connect with each other.
Maybe someone can input something else, but I haven't really seen any clear-cut reason why dating would be so hard. That's just how I see it though. Another possible reason is most of us jump into sex too quickly. Like the overplayed idiom goes; why buy the whole cow when you can get the milk for free?
Don't give it up for free. Make em pay for it!