F*CKING INTERNET RUINED MY DATING LIFE! or THE MENU IS TOO BIG, I THOUGHT I KNEW WHAT I WANTED BUT...

• MuscleComeBac...
  
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  Aug 29, 2011 5:03 AM GMT

  Three questions:
  1. Do you think that social networks and other 'far reaching' virtual communities have made you less satisfied with your local 'real' options? (i.e. now that you know there are hot guys outside of your driving area, does that make what IS within your reach seem less satisfying?)
  2. Do you think that your local dating options are diminished because THEY look beyond what is right in front of them in the flesh and are distracted by what's 'online' but 9K miles away?
  3. Do you prevent yourself from considering more lasting relationships with dates because apps and social networks keep you forever looking for something better that might just come along?

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  Aug 29, 2011 5:08 AM GMT

  I've had the same taste in men since I was a teen.
  
  When it comes to dating, I ONLY like guys who are defined, and love to flex...no anal or oral sex.
  
  My dating menu is small enough as it is. If I had the financial ability, I'd travel around the world to meet guys my type.
  
  The only LTR's I ever had were because I "settled" for what I could find.
  
  However, my friends with benefits are absolutely perfect, and I'm always willing to add more to the pot.

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  Aug 29, 2011 6:31 AM GMT

  Well, you are a decent looking dude.
  
  I like to think most gays are smart enough to not rely on the internet for long-distance relationships with strangers.
  
  People who do, probably aren't worth dating.
  
  Bars strike me as a sad way to waste time. Wish I was good at line dancing as gay western clubs are a lot of fun if this one wasn't so fond of my asshole Ex.
  
  Rugby clubs can be a great way to meet guys if you find the Rugby body type and their propensity for drinking and hazing rituals sexy.
  
  My best option of choice now is the gym. Just wish my gym wasn't so...hetero.
  
  

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• Midas426
  
  Posts: 966
  
  
  Aug 29, 2011 6:40 AM GMT

  MuscleComeBack saidThree questions:
  1. Do you think that social networks and other 'far reaching' virtual communities have made you less satisfied with your local 'real' options? (i.e. now that you know there are hot guys outside of your driving area, does that make what IS within your reach seem less satisfying?)
  2. Do you think that your local dating options are diminished because THEY look beyond what is right in front of them in the flesh and are distracted by what's 'online' but 9K miles away?
  3. Do you prevent yourself from considering more lasting relationships with dates because apps and social networks keep you forever looking for something better that might just come along?

  Good questions.
  
  1) I would say no. There are plenty of fish in my general area and from my communication with others, the fish are just as messed up in other areas as in mine so might as well try to catch one here, if I can.
  
  2) I'm sure it is though. The internet has opened up our world and I wouldn't have met some people had it not been for the net. But it does lead to that whole 'grass is greener on the other side' syndrome and guys have choices A - G lined up and you have no idea where you fall in that spectrum, if you're even in it.
  
  3) No my issue is finding guys worthy of pursuing a last relationship likely because of #2.

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• Midas426
  
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  Aug 29, 2011 6:41 AM GMT

  flwright64 saidRugby clubs can be a great way to meet guys if you find the Rugby body type and their propensity for drinking and hazing rituals sexy.

  I do like the Rugby body type. May have to check that option out. Now if I can get a Rugby body type to like me that's another question.

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  Aug 29, 2011 11:41 AM GMT

  No other option for dating here. or at least, no other safe option here. Decade ago men would go to some places for a hookup but then those places were raided. So, for me, they are a bless, the only channel to meet guys here.
  
  But when I move somewhere else more free, of course I will love to check bars and enjoy some of the night life.
  
  One of my biggest fantasies is to meet a great guy by coincidence, say in a super-market...etc)

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  Aug 29, 2011 12:22 PM GMT

  paulflexes said
  
  The only LTR's I ever had were because I "settled" for what I could find.
  
  

  
  
  Do you admit then that you will never be in a LTR with your 'ideal' man? Does that not depress you?
  

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  Aug 29, 2011 12:26 PM GMT

  Oddly, I have had the best luck with Craigs list. I've found that I get along really well with bi guys or guys who aren't "gay savvy". 90% of the local guys I've met on gay sites have gay and/or female friends only so our conversations aren't usually the best. I love talking about football and sports and it doesn't feel like the guys here embrace anything other than art, film, and gay life - not that there's anything wrong with that.
  
  I've noticed that on the gay sites (not RJ) the communication is suboptimal to say the least, which ends up catering to only 20% of the board (the very hottest bodies, the most desperate guy and the sexual addict)

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  Aug 29, 2011 12:45 PM GMT

  1. No. I can be just as satisfied or dissatisfied with the guys on the other side of the country as I can be with the ones on the other side of the local gay bar. I like having a wider selection via the Internet because when I was first coming out I didn't know how to use the local scene in person, and later I lived in low population places where local dating options essentially didn't exist at all.
  
  The Internet is one more resource I use as needed, but it doesn't blind me to what's right under my own nose. In fact, I prefer to "buy local" when I can, just like when I shop for products. And indeed while my first several gay dates were found online, I was doing purely local searches. After that, having gained experience & confidence, I dated guys I initially met the old-fashioned way, through direct in-person social contact, no Internet involvement at all in many cases.
  
  2. Hard to judge. When I was single and on the prowl I did my best to make sure guys who interested me in person didn't "look away" to the Internet. Or if I did first meet them online, I also worked to be competitive there, too, among the many guys vying for attention. Dating is dating, and again, the Internet is just another resource, that requires a slightly different skill set to successfully exploit. What I don't know, however, is how many guys don't enter the live social scene at all for dating, because they're at home surfing the gay sites.
  
  Does the Internet create an excess of riches? Perhaps for some, perfect for others, those who know what they want, and know when they've found it. Don't blame the Internet for revealing indecisiveness.
  
  3. I've known guys who didn't use the Internet for dating, but who nevertheless thought a better guy was always right around the corner, never convinced that what they'd already found was a keeper. That's not the Internet's fault, that's how human nature works with some people. The manner of meeting is merely the method, and not the cause of what happens next.
  
  To paraphrase Shakesspeare's Julius Caesar, "The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in the Internet, but in ourselves."

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