OUCH! My pride.....

  • swimmer8671

    Posts: 429

    Aug 29, 2011 7:33 AM GMT
    So my first official date ever and.......... i got stood up.

    That hurt haha


    Anyone else get stood up on a first day?
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    Aug 29, 2011 7:34 AM GMT
    He was intimidated by your prettiness.
    Get uglier and maybe they won't stand you up. icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 29, 2011 7:46 AM GMT
    Don't take it to heart. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you why the other guy didn't show. Some guys are just flakey. Hell, I've been one of them. I've stood up hot guys before due to busy schedules, overslept, or running late and just figured there was no point in showing up so late.

    Move on. You can catch other fish in the sea easily.
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    Aug 29, 2011 7:48 AM GMT
    That sucks. Did he even call with an excuse?
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    Aug 29, 2011 7:51 AM GMT
    swimmer8671 saidSo my first official date ever and.......... i got stood up.

    That hurt haha


    Anyone else get stood up on a first day?



    By "stood up" I'm assuming he didn't bother to call you. If that's the case do NOT accept a second date with this guy. It's a huge red flag he doesn't respect other people's time. And if he calls I'd tell him exactly that. icon_evil.gif
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    Aug 29, 2011 8:01 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    swimmer8671 saidSo my first official date ever and.......... i got stood up.

    That hurt haha


    Anyone else get stood up on a first day?



    By "stood up" I'm assuming he didn't bother to call you. If that's the case do NOT accept a second date with this guy. It's a huge red flag he doesn't respect other people's time. And if he calls I'd tell him exactly that. icon_evil.gif
    More like this: If he calls, ask if he flaked cause his bf got back from vacation early. icon_wink.gif
  • swimmer8671

    Posts: 429

    Aug 29, 2011 8:12 AM GMT
    I really just didn't know that people actually stood each other up haha that was so shocking to me. Like a simple text that said oh hey sorry something really important came up and i can't make it would of been really nice.
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    Aug 29, 2011 8:17 AM GMT
    swimmer8671 saidI really just didn't know that people actually stood each other up haha that was so shocking to me. Like a simple text that said oh hey sorry something really important came up and i can't make it would of been really nice.
    Before the internet, I never experienced a single flake.
    Early in the internet, almost everyone flaked.
    I payed attention and learned the red flags (too many to list).
    In the past 3.5 years I haven't experienced a single flake...except for those whom I knew would flake from the start, so no surprise.

    In other words, live and learn. Go back through the messages and gather info.
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    Aug 29, 2011 11:50 AM GMT
    welcome to the circus...

    Better luck always comes later. don't worry, you still have the looks and you're gonna charm lots of other men, much better ones as well.
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    Aug 29, 2011 11:56 AM GMT
    whoaaaa, now i'm afraid 2 date.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 29, 2011 12:02 PM GMT
    he was a darn fool to pass up spending time with a cute guy like YOU.

    move on.

    he's not worth thinking about.
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    Aug 29, 2011 12:16 PM GMT
    All my dates have been via the internet. Not all of them have been a success, but I have never once been stood up. I think I have a very good nose for sniffing out genuine people.

    Try not to let it knock your confidence. The guy might be shy and may, at the last minute, have decided he could not go ahead with meeting up. Just keep trying.
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    Aug 29, 2011 12:22 PM GMT
    swimmer8671 saidI really just didn't know that people actually stood each other up haha that was so shocking to me.

    How did you miss the dozens of RJ threads lamenting about this same topic?
    We've all been stood up sometimes. Too bad it was on your first date. Just think of it as a 100% accurate way of identifying who isn't relationship material.
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    Aug 29, 2011 12:44 PM GMT
    Standing people up and flaking out is not a big deal in some peoples eyes. It happens all the time in some other cultures and is almost accepted. I don't agree with it and believe we should all make our word good.
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    Aug 29, 2011 12:59 PM GMT
    ^ in which culture????

    First time I was stood up was by a girl actually
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    Aug 29, 2011 1:06 PM GMT
    In all seriousness, who the damn hell would stand you up? I suppose he was just intimidated by how handsome you are.
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Aug 29, 2011 1:16 PM GMT
    Yes, something like that happened to me on my first date with a man so I understand how you feel. I met a date through okcupid who lived in my town. I was 18, ready for my first date and I was so excited. I was so excited I did not see the booming RED FLAGS such as while I wanted to meet at the 4th of July Carnival he kept trying to meet at his house. He also said we could see fire works from there. Stupid, but I had this perfect idea of my date. So I went down there to be stood up and was in tears. My car was being repaird and I had to walk there and back.
    So I get home and am so sad and so pissed. He gets online and I start yelling at him to which the fuck gives me a sob story and I had to pick up my mother. I ate it up and he promised to meet me at the diner. After another mile of walking I got there to be texted asking if I would meet him at his friends house where he's pet sitting. I stood my ground and said WE HAD A DEAL. He finally agreed to meet me in public. When he showed up I saw major QVC which means he looked nothing like his picture. Bigger, sloppy, bad tattoos. I was shocked. He said let's go, trying to convince me and when I said no, we had a deal he said he forgot his wallet and left. He texted me "you're not mype type, I just wanna mess around". What a shitty fuck.

    Anyway....this long story shows that there is shit out there, but there are also amazing guys which makes sorting through all the shit worth it. Just realise it's not you and jump in for the amazing guys. You get better at telling the difference with time.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Aug 29, 2011 1:18 PM GMT
    I get stood up 90% of the time, or they cancel at last minute, or try to reschedule at last minute, etc. Believe me, it has nothing to do with you and your pride. It is completely their problem.
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    Aug 29, 2011 1:33 PM GMT
    I haven't been stood up completely (yet) but flakiness is par for the course... I've had guys cancel last second, or just stop talking to me entirely, or get cold feet for no apparent reason. It's really nothing to do with you. There are a lot of neuroses floating around.
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    Aug 29, 2011 1:39 PM GMT
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    Aug 29, 2011 1:45 PM GMT
    Not even close to being your issue man...its his insecurity...keep trying...and remember..it was not about you, it was about his issues....
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    Aug 29, 2011 1:55 PM GMT
    I wouldn't sweat it buddy. Stuff happens. It might be the first but it certainly won't be the last. Those are the breaks and there's really nothing you can do about it but move on and just keep being you.

    On a side note, (not aimed at the OP) I love how everyone calls a person insecure and every other word under the sun just because they stand someone up. No one ever thinks they might be the problem resulting in why they got stood up it seems. I'm just saying.
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    Aug 29, 2011 2:39 PM GMT
    three years back, I was supposed to go on my first date ever with a guy- he had asked me out (this is significant you'll quickly figure out as you read), I said yes, so I arranged for him to pick me up from my best friend's house (as wasn't out to my parents at the time), he flaked (no phonecall, no text message and wouldn't answer when I called him).

    The next day he had the excuse that he had fallen asleep, I let it slide, after all it could happen and he asked me out for the following weekend.

    I replied and told him if he wasn't comfortable going out with me yet it was no hassle we could just keep talking on the phone and texting, he still wanted to go out, so we made arrangements to go out the following weekend and once again he flaked.

    The next day he messaged me apologising but no reason given for standing me up and ignoring my calls and texts, However he wanted me to go out with him the following weekend (in other words date attempt number 3).

    Well, fool me once shame on you and fool me twice shame on me,
    but there was no way in hell he was getting me a third time so I messaged him back and to summarise;

    I told him he seemed like a nice guy who I would be interested in getting to know better but he had stood me up twice and he really needed to make up his mind about what he wanted and once he figured it out to let me know, i told him in the meantime I'd be happy to keep messaging him and talking to him over the phone but at this point I wasn't going to meet up with him anytime soon.

    And surprise, surprise I never heard from him again...Idk after several attempts to date guys and having had them flake, I'm beginning to assume that's the nature of the beast unfortunately.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 29, 2011 3:01 PM GMT
    I've been stood up before. Meh. Move on to the next guy.
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    Aug 29, 2011 3:35 PM GMT
    swimmer8671 saidSo my first official date ever and.......... i got stood up.

    That hurt haha

    Anyone else get stood up on a first day?


    I think it's happened to all of us at least once. It sucks, you feel a little wounded, but then you realize that he wasn't worth your time. He's an idiot for standing up a good looking guy like you, and you don't need to be dating some idiot.