So, I gave a guy my number...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 29, 2011 1:15 PM GMT
    I was getting food at a fast food restaurant at college. As I was paying, there was a really cute guy training on the register. I made small talk about classes and working there and as I left slipped him my number. He texted about 4 hours later that night (saturday). He said he appreciated the comment and was wondering if I knew him before that day. I said I recognized him from a fb suggestion (which I did) and sorry if that was too weird for him. He then replied it wasn't weird at all and that I should add him on fb. We then texted a couple of other things (where you from, how gays are treated up here in ND etc).

    So my question is...what should I do next? He didn't text me at all on Sunday. Should I just wait for him...or initiate another text? He knows I'm interested based on me writing "you're cute!" on the note.
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Aug 29, 2011 1:18 PM GMT
    If you want to talk to him, TALK TO HIM. If you're waiting for him to call you, maybe he's doing the same and then no one gets anywhere.
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    Aug 29, 2011 2:06 PM GMT
    Go back to the line where he works at. Mega flirt with him. ;)
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    Aug 29, 2011 2:28 PM GMT
    don't think about it to much, just take it easy, when you feel like you should text him then do it.
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    Aug 29, 2011 2:34 PM GMT
    You have done the hard bit (the opener). Just go with the flow. Ask him out on a date.
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    Aug 29, 2011 2:38 PM GMT
    Is it just me or are guys just really freaking inpatient these days when it comes to stuff like this?

    Slow down and and take a breathe, buddy. Quickest way to scare a person off is by being too persistent and demanding of an answer in such a short amount of time especially wen you just met this dude and spoke/texted with him on Saturday. It's just Monday. Wait til Friday then you'll have a reason to worry.

    Til then I wouldn't be sitting around waiting around like it was the end of the world. Also all you said was that he's cute. That doesn't signify interest.
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Aug 29, 2011 4:08 PM GMT
    Give him a call and ask him if he'd like to grab a coffee/lunch/dinner.
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    Aug 29, 2011 4:16 PM GMT
    Ask him if you can suck him off the next time you see him.
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    Aug 29, 2011 5:16 PM GMT
    What are you waiting for????icon_smile.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 29, 2011 5:22 PM GMT
    Absolutely, take the initiative. Ask him out.
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    Aug 30, 2011 2:47 AM GMT
    Something interactive, or like a show, town festival putt putt golf idk. Just don't make a bar date or drunk college party date.

    If all else fails try this...

    tumblr_lk80e6VXvv1qg64aho1_500.gif

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    Aug 30, 2011 3:35 AM GMT
    Forget the people that say you have to text text text or call call call. It's common for a guy to receive a number, then wait a couple of days before calling/texting. I agree with who ever said that gays are impatient now-a-days. Give it time, wait a couple of days, then text him if he hasn't yet. Ask him if he wants to meet up for lunch or a sporting event at school or something. It's not that complicated really, everyone just over-thinks everything when they get that rush of a new chance at dating.

    Wait a couple of days, text him to hang out. Got out. Rinse, repeat.
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    Aug 30, 2011 3:36 AM GMT
    Texting/emailing/fb/iming each other everyday is such a social media thing. Give guys time to chase you some or build up to your own chase. Wait a few days and text. Give off the impression that you're not stalking him and that you do have a life and that you're just saying "hello" with no expectations. Take it slow and try to get to know him. DON'T WRITE, "Hope your day is going well : )" ...
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    Sep 02, 2011 11:28 PM GMT
    Well, I texted him Wednesday to see if he wanted to get lunch Thursday or Friday. He replied late today saying "Sry haven't gotten back to you, but I'd rather us stay friends"

    The funny thing is, I was meeting him to be a friend, not for sex lol. Oh well, there are more boys out there!

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 02, 2011 11:45 PM GMT
    Jeeeeeezus kids... these days

    ASK HIM OUT!

    Of course he said he'd rather be friends...who wants to date a wishy washy guy without the balls to step up to the plate and make a move
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    Sep 02, 2011 11:58 PM GMT
    MsclDrew saidJeeeeeezus kids... these days

    ASK HIM OUT!

    Of course he said he'd rather be friends...who wants to date a wishy washy guy without the balls to step up to the plate and make a move


    Wishy washy? I asked him out to lunch. What else do you suggest I do? Ask him for sex? A little confused...he denied my request to lunch dude.
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    Sep 05, 2011 5:54 PM GMT
    I find the following article interesting although it's written for women. It might help you figure things out.


    Why guys don’t bother to call
    By Dave Singleton

    It’s the number-one question women have about dating. Does this scenario sound familiar? You have a great time with Mr. First Date. Not a so-so, marginal, you-can-sort-of-understand-why-it-didn’t work-out time. No, this was clearly fun that was had by all.

    He says he’ll call you, but when the phone doesn’t ring, you think, “OK, maybe it’s too soon to hear from him.” One week later without a text, tweet, email, or call, and you wonder what you did wrong. Why did he disappear after the date that apparently only you thought was great?

    You imagine dozens of reasons why he didn’t call you back. His phone fell into a pond. He lost his memory in an accident. The telephone company is on strike and no one can get through.

    Yes, there could be dozens of bizarre turns of events that left him unable to contact you. But that’s probably not the case. To end the suspense, I spoke to men to uncover and share (in their words) some of the most common reasons they don’t call women back after that first date.

    I wasn’t ready for a serious girlfriend
    “When I first met her, I felt a hot connection with this girl I knew nothing about. During our date, I got to know her better, liked her, and could tell she was really looking for a serious boyfriend. I could sense our expectations were different. I didn’t have the energy to explain to her that I wasn’t looking for my future wife right now, so I just passed.”
    — Allan, 27, Westchester, NY

    Lesson learned: The woman he wants (eventually) to bring home to mom may not always be the woman he wants to date right now. If the guy in question was just looking for casual dates and you had different expectations (which is a good thing, unless that’s all you wanted in the first place), you are much better off putting your energies elsewhere.

    She was too self-absorbed
    “She gabbed with me like I was a girlfriend. I guess I made her feel comfortable, since she had no problem telling me the minutiae of her life. She seemed very focused on how she was coming across. I wasn’t feeling it.”
    — Bill, 33, Bethesda, MD

    Lesson learned: The idea that men are totally focused on a woman’s looks is a big myth. That’s not how building an attraction with someone works. In this area, woman and men are alike. Most men don’t want a self-absorbed woman who’s focused solely on herself — her friends, her job, her hobbies, her goals, etc. Ask him about his life, too. Focus less on making an impression and more on facilitating the best possible connection.

    “More than most women realize, men judge a woman less on looks and more on how they feel around her,” says Evan Marc Katz, author of Why He Disappeared. “‘Do I feel attractive? Do I feel masculine? Do I feel funny when she laughs at my jokes?’ Those are the questions he’s asking himself before he calls her again.”

    I didn’t want to deal with any confrontation
    “Sometimes women get upset when you say it’s not working for you. The attraction we had shared initially faded pretty fast. I don’t know why. She’d probably press me for some logical reason why I asked her out in the first place if the attraction was so iffy. But attraction isn’t created by logic.”
    — Chad, 34, Washington, D.C.

    Lesson learned: Some men are too immature or scared to be honest and straightforward with a woman about their feelings. The truth is simply that, somewhere along the line, the attraction and connection vanished. Of course, a man’s definition of “confrontation” might be the same as your definition of “friendly, respectful call.” But if he’s scared, he won’t be calling you.

    I’m keeping my options open
    “I had a good time on the date, but I’m focusing more on another girl I’ve been seeing for a few weeks. Who knows, I might change my mind and call.”
    — Jack, 38, San Diego, CA

    Lesson learned: The timing just wasn’t right for the two of you. He’s otherwise occupied, and it has nothing to do with you or your charms (or lack thereof). Dating can be like musical chairs; your date is simply keeping his options open until the right one presents itself. Always assume that your dates are seeing other people until there’s a mutual agreement about exclusivity. Remember, some men don’t call women back because there’s someone else who’s picking up steam in their dating race.

    “While men excel at compartmentalization, women tend to have a more difficult time separating their feelings, so multi-male dating may be a bigger challenge for the female set,” says Kimberly Dawn Neumann, author of The Real Reasons Men Commit.

    She was annoying
    “She had this annoying habit of throwing her head back when she laughed. It was too hysterical and weird for me.”
    — Josh, 29, New York, NY

    Lesson learned: Some guys carry the Seinfeld curse; that is, they share George Costanza’s obsession of overly picky and shallow physical or behavioral traits when it comes to their dating lives. In her book, Why He Didn’t Call You Back: 1,000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought About You After Your Date, author Rachel Greenwald notes that 78 percent of women she surveyed believed that a man hadn’t called her back for reasons beyond her control, i.e. the elusive “chemistry” or a career that intimidates men. The truth is that 85 percent of men surveyed felt the opposite. In fact, there were sometimes small and always-specific behaviors women exhibited which ended up being deal-breakers for the guys.

    Both men and women can nitpick their dates into obscurity. Ask your closest friends if you have any controllable, attraction-inhibiting habits that warrant adjusting, such as avoiding eye contact when you’re nervous. But if you’re being judged on characteristics you can’t control, don’t spend time obsessing over what you could have done differently. Move on, because the next person will likely have different expectations altogether.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2011 5:16 AM GMT
    Invite him to hang out for a cup of coffee, tea, or something.

    See where it goes. Let it happen naturally.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2011 5:30 AM GMT
    He's just not that into you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2011 5:40 AM GMT
    What's on your FB pages? icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2011 2:30 PM GMT
    cookingitsweet saidIf you want to talk to him, TALK TO HIM. If you're waiting for him to call you, maybe he's doing the same and then no one gets anywhere.



    YEAP! I AGREE! IF U WANT IT...GET IT! icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2011 1:56 AM GMT
    I would just simply say to him "I would like to get to know you better and was wondering if you would like to hang out sometime." He will either say yes or no...either way, you will know that you tried. At least you won't be stuck with the "what if" syndrome.