IMO, Sex On The First Night Can Be Helpful

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2011 12:40 AM GMT
    Hear me out RJ. I know a lot of gay men usually look down on men who have sex with a dude the first night. But, think about it this way. Now, I'm one who likes to pursue men, as in, I know what I like and if I see it, then I'll attempt to obtain it for myself (i.e., try to see if I can form a friendship/relationship with said man). Okay, so say I meet a guy I want to pursue. I make my move and, SCORE, I get an invite to his place. Now, we hookup and have sex. Either one of two things can happen:

    1. The sex could be so amazing, that I'll become selfish and not want to share him (i.e., pursue for a relationship) OR...
    2. The sex could be so bad, that the hookup shall remain just that, a hookup.

    Now, I know sex isn't everything in the relationship, but at some point, it does come up. Being fully versatile myself, I can do both positions and usually (try to) stay within the versatile pool (vers-top, full vers, or vers-bottom). I know I'm going to get bashed for this, but I honestly can't be with somebody if we don't connect on a sexual level. Sure, physically, he could look great, and personality could be awesome, but if I'm not connecting with him on an emotional/sexual level, then it just won't work.

    That's all I wanted to say RJ. I look forward to the replies.
    icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 30, 2011 12:54 AM GMT
    I believe with us men this is 100% true - sex is first on our list!
  • calibro

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    Aug 30, 2011 1:09 AM GMT
    there's nothing wrong with sexual attractiveness being an important part of whether you see yourself compatible with another guy, but for the reasons you list you sound like a complete, shallow whore.
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    Aug 30, 2011 1:14 AM GMT
    calibro saidthere's nothing wrong with sexual attractiveness being an important part of whether you see yourself compatible with another guy, but for the reasons you list you sound like a complete, shallow whore.

    Yeah, yeah, cry me a river. Knew I was going to get called this anyway. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • UVaRob9

    Posts: 282

    Aug 30, 2011 1:34 AM GMT
    Sex is an important thing, but it's not the only factor in a relationship. This does not mean that test driving a guy on the first date all the time is wise at all, simply to justify the importance you place on sex in a relationship. I've had full-tilt sex on a first date twice in my life and in completely different states of mind. The first time was after my 4-year relationship ended 2 months before; that one ended as a one-night stand. The second time was about a year later and I had healed from the previous year. The guy and I had good chemistry during the date and the sex was his idea. We ended up dating for about 2 months after that and had pretty amazing sex, with some fun taking turns. It's really not always a good idea. In fact, I'd say it usually isn't a good idea because then it says a lot about you that you may not want to project (e.g. shallowness, poor judgement, emotional unavailability).
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    Aug 30, 2011 1:40 AM GMT
    UVaRob9 saidIn fact, I'd say it usually isn't a good idea because then it says a lot about you that you may not want to project (e.g. shallowness, poor judgement, emotional unavailability).

    Makes it all the easier for me to stay single. icon_wink.gif
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Aug 30, 2011 1:42 AM GMT
    TheLetterD said
    calibro saidthere's nothing wrong with sexual attractiveness being an important part of whether you see yourself compatible with another guy, but for the reasons you list you sound like a complete, shallow whore.

    Yeah, yeah, cry me a river. Knew I was going to get called this anyway. icon_rolleyes.gif


    dude, like i said, there's nothing wrong with sex being part of a relationship, but according to your own words, you get in a relationship because the sex is so good you don't want anyone else to have sex with him. beyond being a whore (not because you sleep with a lot of guys, but you're dick-driven so much that you think no one else should be having sex with a guy you like to have sex with), you're an overly-sensitive tool. if you don't want to be called a shallow whore, then don't start threads on the internet asking if getting in a relationship solely so your dick has its own watering hole makes you a whore.
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    Aug 30, 2011 1:43 AM GMT
    My ex and I hooked up the night we met and were together for six fantastic years.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2011 1:46 AM GMT
    calibro said
    TheLetterD said
    calibro saidthere's nothing wrong with sexual attractiveness being an important part of whether you see yourself compatible with another guy, but for the reasons you list you sound like a complete, shallow whore.

    Yeah, yeah, cry me a river. Knew I was going to get called this anyway. icon_rolleyes.gif


    dude, like i said, there's nothing wrong with sex being part of a relationship, but according to your own words, you get in a relationship because the sex is so good you don't want anyone else to have sex with him. beyond being a whore (not because you sleep with a lot of guys, but you're dick-driven so much that you think no one else should be having sex with a guy you like to have sex with), you're an overly-sensitive tool. if you don't want to be called a shallow whore, then don't start threads on the internet asking if getting in a relationship solely so your dick has its own watering hole makes you a whore.


    I don't think any part of his response was overly-sensitive at all, lol. In fact, it was rather stoic.
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    Aug 30, 2011 1:57 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidDang, LetterD. Could you increase the size of your font? It is hard to read.

    Nah, the small font is my thing. icon_lol.gif
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Aug 30, 2011 1:58 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidDang, LetterD. Could you increase the size of your font? It is hard to read.


    polls_DangAnythingElse_0147_885815_answe
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    Aug 30, 2011 2:25 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidLOL!

    Go'awn BON QUI QUI!!!

    Hellz yeah..I gotz me uh complicayted awduh!


    You see me placin mah awduh!?? Dont intuhrup! RUDE!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    Ah, the age old debate of frigid prude vs. dirty whore.

    You're clear that sex is very important to you. You have my blessing to have all the first-date sex you want.
    Why waste your time and your date's time playing some game. You don't need to jump through the hurdles of going on x number of dates before you can find out if you two are even sexually compatible.

    Generally, I say to wait on having sex until you're ready and the chemistry is right (which could be/has been on the first date),

  • Aug 30, 2011 3:50 AM GMT
    Sex is important, but sex on the first night is still too fast for me~








  • petermalaka

    Posts: 158

    Aug 30, 2011 3:55 AM GMT
    >implying guys i date even want to have sex with me icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2011 3:55 AM GMT
    To see if you're compatible, I say just get the sex out of the way first thing on the date, before the dinner or movie- especially if you're the one paying. Thinking ahead helps keep a little cash in your pocket.