This is why I continue to go to bars/clubs: Because there isn't anywhere else...Not a mother fucking thing.

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    Aug 30, 2011 9:30 AM GMT
    So earlier tonight at the advice of a friend, and countless people who keep saying "you can't meet anyone at a bar or online. You'll never meet anyone worthwhile that way. Go join a group or yadda yadda yadda" I went out to this thing off of meetup.com that is a group for gay men to meet at. Now, on meetup.com, this town has only 5 or 6 gay oriented meetups and 1 is for couples, the other for trans, another says gay welcome but 99% of the people that attend are straight...Pretty sad for a town this size, but then again it's why I won't be staying here in 2012.

    And then this group. I already sort of knew what to expect because my friend warned me, but I wanted to go to check it out. Not a single person in that room was less than 40 or 50 years old. Although the average age was more like 60. And either they were overweight or very skinny. Like, I'm not trying to be superficial or pretentious, but what position would I possibly have being in a place like that? That's just being unequally yoked. Counter-productive.

    I was there for 10 minutes and almost wanted to cry. I thought to myself, what the heck am I doing in here. My buddy was there with me. Basically everyone was sat in this circle and the meetup spot was a basement in a church. I don't know what the fuck they were talking about but it was the dullest most un-entertaining topics possible.

    Luckily, my phone rang and I had to cover a shift....I couldn't of been happier. I kept wanting to just get up and leave anyway but I just don't have the heart to be that blatantly cruel.

    At this point, I need to go someplace where guys my age hang IMMEDIATELY to reclaim my youth. The next guy who wants to fuck, I'm fucking them! For a moment I thought I was looking at myself 40 years later. Oh HELL no.


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    Aug 30, 2011 9:52 AM GMT
    Welcome to Savannah.

    Oh wait, You're in Denver. Sounds the same, though. icon_lol.gif
  • gaydocalex

    Posts: 80

    Aug 30, 2011 11:12 AM GMT
    I wish you could have just stayed for a while even though it was boring. Often we find out that one of those old fatties that you deride so much has something interesting and fascinating to say. It does not mean you have to have sex with them. But if you stay and add your vitality to the discussion, the next person who comes looking for nice guy to meet will find you there.... and so on and so on. I find it is fun to go to places like that to find the gems hiding in the rough. In the long run you will feel better about yourself and when you get to be 50 you will appreciate the presence of bright fresh faces .. even if they wont sleep with you.
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    Aug 30, 2011 12:08 PM GMT
    Gaydoc: He is 24...you might as well talk to your cat. It'll agree faster.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 30, 2011 12:15 PM GMT
    i've often thought about this issue.

    i'm a light/occassional drinker, life long anti-cigarette fanatic.

    i'm also a passionate gay man looking for the same.

    where else does one go to meet gay guys, besides a gay bar?

    sitting on a barstool with a club soda in front of me, gagging on regurgitated second/third hand smoke, going home with my clothes reeking of a burnt down house has always stuck me as a darn stupid way to meet potential friends/dating partners/between-the-sheeters.

    isn't it hypocritical of me to mentally knock a guy for his smoking and drinking habits...when he was doing just that when i first met him?

    icon_confused.gif
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    Aug 30, 2011 12:44 PM GMT
    In a CHURCH? you have to be kidding!.. I'll go the bar before I'd go there.
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    Aug 30, 2011 12:54 PM GMT
    It's so appropriate your holding a glass of whine in your profile pic, (misspelling intended.) And just more proof of how the gay community views older men with disgust. It's really shameful. All you had to say was there was no one there that was your type.
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    Aug 30, 2011 1:49 PM GMT
    I didn't know you had "shifts" now - I didn't know CO had brothels.
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    Aug 30, 2011 1:56 PM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver saidAt this point, I need to go someplace where guys my age hang IMMEDIATELY to reclaim my youth. The next guy who wants to fuck, I'm fucking them! For a moment I thought I was looking at myself 40 years later. Oh HELL no.

    First, because your profile pic was mentioned here in an unflattering way, I'll just say I think it's original, sexy, and a bit mysterious. I like it. icon_smile.gif

    Second, what you found in that church is what I could have predicted you'd find. Unless billed as being specifically for younger men, the guys who usually attend these kinds of gay programmed social gatherings are just as you saw: older, not in great shape, often couples, with personal interests of little interest to a 20-something. That's because many older men don't find anything to interest them in the younger scene, and therefore have their own challenges in socializing, leading them to gravitate to these more "mature" venues.

    And I should know, because those old guys are me. So that those groups appeal to me, and my partner & I go around joining everything, because we can be almost guaranteed we'll be meeting our own demographic, with which we're most comfortable. Don't you think we'd be as uncomfortable & bored as you were, if we attended a similar group in their 20s, eagerly discussing video games and Lady Gaga? Or hanging around twink bars and gay discos?

    But the truth is I don't think very many younger guys formally meet in general discussion groups anyway. And from my unscientific, subjective observation, hang in only very specific kinds of places that have a youthful attraction, such as discos with the very latest club remixes. And if the club scene doesn't appeal to you, then you might do well to network into a small group of friends that has its own scene, often gathering at private homes.
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    Aug 30, 2011 2:23 PM GMT
    Consider creating a club on your own. What is the desired demographic which you wish to communicate with? You have many personal interests... which among them would have mutual interest among that target market? If you had 25-30 guys from your target market together... what would you propose to do together? Where would you prefer to meet? How do people in town successfully advertise their orgs (at gyms, bars, bookstores, coffeshops, etc.) and would your desired demographic likely be there to see your ad? What free newspapers would they likely read, and can you get a classified ad in there? Once you answer those questions for yourself, give it a shot. Even if one guy shows up, you may very well have met your match!
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    Aug 30, 2011 3:41 PM GMT
    Hell even at my age I'd be bored too sitting around a church basement on stacking chairs listening to a bunch of old farts LOL
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    Aug 30, 2011 3:56 PM GMT


    http://www.milehighgayguy.com/2008/01/denver-gay-sports-teams-organizations.html
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Aug 30, 2011 6:35 PM GMT
    All of those "older" people are probably thankful, every day, that they have a place to gather and make friends.

    Your solution is to start your own organization with your own exclusive criteria.

    Good luck.
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Aug 30, 2011 6:56 PM GMT
    I am not sure why you are giving him shit. He just want to be around people his own age. Date people his own age etc..... lay the fuck off.

    Do your thing, Baby.
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    Aug 30, 2011 7:02 PM GMT
    JP85257 saidI am not sure why you are giving him shit. He just want to be around people his own age. Date people his own age etc..... lay the fuck off.

    Do your thing, Baby.



    Maybe because he didn't just say that. He had to refer to people outside his age like we're worthless pieces of shit. Not to mention, this guy is miserable everywhere he goes. You've obviously not followed his other posts.
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Aug 30, 2011 7:02 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    JP85257 saidI am not sure why you are giving him shit. He just want to be around people his own age. Date people his own age etc..... lay the fuck off.

    Do your thing, Baby.



    Maybe because he didn't just say that. He had to refer to people outside his age like we're worthless pieces of shit. Not to mention, this guy is miserable everywhere he goes. You've obviously not followed his other posts.

    I just read what I read. lol I dont care either way really.
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    Aug 30, 2011 7:05 PM GMT
    JP85257 saidI am not sure why you are giving him shit. He just want to be around people his own age. Date people his own age etc..... lay the fuck off.

    Do your thing, Baby.


    in which case he should just do it and shut the fuck up about it. The post ended being nothing but 'pooing' on some segment of the gay community.
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Aug 30, 2011 7:06 PM GMT
    xassantex said
    JP85257 saidI am not sure why you are giving him shit. He just want to be around people his own age. Date people his own age etc..... lay the fuck off.

    Do your thing, Baby.


    in which case he should just do it and shut the fuck up about it. The post was clearly nothing but an intention to poo on some segment of the gay community.


    No I completely agree, but there are some hateful ho's either direction on this site.
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    Aug 30, 2011 7:07 PM GMT
    sorry edited my post above.

    but i agree also.
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    Aug 31, 2011 3:13 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    But the truth is I don't think very many younger guys formally meet in general discussion groups anyway. And from my unscientific, subjective observation, hang in only very specific kinds of places that have a youthful attraction, such as discos with the very latest club remixes. And if the club scene doesn't appeal to you, then you might do well to network into a small group of friends that has its own scene, often gathering at private homes.


    That's a lot better understanding LOL. Again, no offense meant to older gay men. I am well aware older gay men contribute more into the gay community than anyone my age group does.

    But, the type of men that were at this event didn't seem so. To be blunt, half of them seemed to be living the golden years of HIV or something. No joke, it was really sad.

    Scruffypup saidIt's so appropriate your holding a glass of whine in your profile pic, (misspelling intended.) And just more proof of how the gay community views older men with disgust. It's really shameful. All you had to say was there was no one there that was your type.


    No, you've got me all wrong. I don't view older gay men with disgust. I found the particular set up being almost exclusively older gay men was off-putting.

    dayumm saidConsider creating a club on your own. !


    Ii have most certainly thought about it, but I just haven't thought of anything. I thinking maybe a meetup at the mall, but then guys would be forced to shop and buy things.

    I was thinking of making a bar/club meetup but just wasn't sure how to go about it.

    But it leaves me no choice. I have to find guys who are going to be interested in doing similar things. Not sitting in a circle in bright florescent lights sitting in uncomfortable fold up chairs talking about their lives before they were gay.

    I think another reason it made me so uncomfortable is because it reminded me of when I was little, like 4 or 5 when my parents used to make us go to church and Sunday school. It was like a flashback and it scared the shit out of me.

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    Aug 31, 2011 3:16 AM GMT
    JP85257 saidI am not sure why you are giving him shit. He just want to be around people his own age. Date people his own age etc..... lay the fuck off.

    Do your thing, Baby.


    Awww thanks for sticking up for me. Yes that's all it is, someone my own age. Although I don't consider guys your age necessarily old either LOL

    xassantex said
    in which case he should just do it and shut the fuck up about it. The post ended being nothing but 'pooing' on some segment of the gay community.


    I knoooooow you not trying to out curse me? I'll curse you OUT!

    Anyway, on a serious note...I was not pooing on you, Scrappy or other older gay men. There are some attractive older gay men out there in their 40s and 50s even 60s. RealJock is a prime example of that. If you or scrappy were there, I'd totally sit next to you 2.

    This wasn't 'athletic older men in their 50s and 60s'. This was simply, "gay men in their 50s and 60s".

    That's the vibe that it presented itself with anyway. Again, I'm not bashing them...I'm just saying it wasn't for me. I felt like I was trying TOO hard just being there, and Lord knows I don't have to try that hard.

    I felt like I was a giant slab of steak walking up in there...
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    Aug 31, 2011 4:08 AM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver saidyou can't meet anyone at a bar or online. You'll never meet anyone worthwhile that way. Go join a group or yadda yadda yadda


    Groups are fun for friends and if you network within groups you'll eventually find a hot guy. In the meantime you can find decent dates and LTR from clubs. I've had boyfriends that I've met from clubs and online. Granted I've met a shitload more completely mentally retarded people from the clubs too. Maybe Denver is just a small town for you?
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    Aug 31, 2011 4:12 AM GMT
    Scruffypup saidMaybe because he didn't just say that. He had to refer to people outside his age like we're worthless pieces of shit. Not to mention, this guy is miserable everywhere he goes. You've obviously not followed his other posts.
    You are a worthless piece of shit.

    Other men, on the other hand...
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    Aug 31, 2011 4:36 AM GMT
    JakeBenson said
    Groups are fun for friends and if you network within groups you'll eventually find a hot guy. In the meantime you can find decent dates and LTR from clubs. I've had boyfriends that I've met from clubs and online. Granted I've met a shitload more completely mentally retarded people from the clubs too. Maybe Denver is just a small town for you?


    I'm trying really. I still go out every other weekend or so. I just naturally like the club scene. Even if I meet jerks from there, I still like dressing up, dancing a bit, and drinking LOL. Fuck the jerks, it doesn't take away my desire. What does suck is the music in the bars here. Charty chart crap.

    If I was in New York like you or a place similar, I'd be writing topics on what kind of engagement ring I should get. Most of my boyfriends were from NYC when I lived in Florida.

    They just so sorry out here. But I can't keep talking about it though. I'll be up all day trying to figure out these people in Denver but no avail. I need to start looking at flights to Toronto for fuck's sake. And then figuring out how much I can sell all this shit when it's time to move.

    amoonhawk saidMe? I'm a loner and have not problem with it. But keep in mind, if you don't find someone to settle down with, or start building your network of gay friends, you might just be like them at their age.


    I doubt it much. All it takes is one move. Like those commercials for accident injury attorneys, "I'm going to make that 1 call."

    I said the same thing myself last night. I was like, I'd rather be home alone, typing on realjock about my problems than to be in that group. Atleast I can be drunk while I do it. Then again, I don't particularly enjoy doing this either but during the times I'm not traveling on vacation it's the only way to pass the time! icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 31, 2011 5:18 AM GMT
    amoonhawk said It just scared the shit out of him to realize that he was going to grow old. Time will teach him a lesson one way or another.


    It made me feel pathetic.

    Now, I'm sure someone will want me to continue to go on the off chance that one of the older guys will know a hot, younger something my age and hook me up with him. But I'm not going to hang onto dear life for some 3rd party hookup.

    I don't have to force myself to fit in somewhere just to do it.