Did your parents bring you up right?

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    Aug 31, 2011 5:57 PM GMT
    Did they allow you to scream and act out and do whatever you wanted? I see so many parents today not disciplining their kids and you know they're going to grow up as brats. Just now I knocked on my neighbor's door after listening to her little girl scream at the top of her lungs and run around for half an hour. That stopped it dead. They didn't even answer the door. Why? Probably because the parent knew it was wrong, yet let it continue. If we had done that as kids it would have been a belt and a bar of soap.

    I'm curious as to how many of you were disciplined, or allowed to run amuck.
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    Aug 31, 2011 6:57 PM GMT
    I acted out as a kid but was always disciplined promptly. I was whipped with belts and wire hangars (those STUNG, ouch!) and locked out of the house for a few hours on a couple occasions. My brother and I became pretty mild-mannered kids, and we were complimented many times for our good behavior.

    At the same time, I'm realizing that my mild-mannered nature has made me a bit of a doormat. This unwillingness to "act out" that I learned at a young age sometimes translates to not speaking up or saying "no" when I should. It's a double-edged sword I guess. icon_neutral.gif
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    Aug 31, 2011 7:02 PM GMT
    My mom barely ever put her hands on me but when she did it was because I seriously needed a can of whoop ass opened on me. My mom had us on lock down!!! Haha! I remember growing up and other adults complimented my mother on how well behaved we were. I'm going to agree with Wildtype87 about not being able to act out and speak my mind. I've learned to cut that shit out though.
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    Aug 31, 2011 7:12 PM GMT
    i was definitely disciplined as a kid. if my brother and i ever fought, my dad would make us kneel at the edge of our stone bricked fireplace. pretty rough either that or spank us with a stick.

    he'd even make us do squats around the house. (hands behind our back, squat and walk around like a duck, if that makes sense) talk about brutal! at least i have nice toned legs because of that lol
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    Aug 31, 2011 7:13 PM GMT
    We were pretty well brought up kids. If we ever acted out inappropriately we the got punishment via spanking on the hand or bum.

    Unfortunately these days, I see parents or 'neo hippies' refrain from disciplining their kids. No one is saying to damn well abuse their child but there has to be exercise of control over their off springs to a certain extent.
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    Aug 31, 2011 7:36 PM GMT
    Did your parents bring you up right?

    No, they brought me up Left, bless them! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 31, 2011 7:39 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidDid your parents bring you up right?

    No, they brought me up Left, bless them! icon_biggrin.gif
    Unfortunately, mine brought me up right.
    I finally learned how wrong they were, and went left for myself. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 31, 2011 7:40 PM GMT
    it is possible to bring up kids "right" and set boundries without corporal punishment.

    I'll leave this thread at that.

    And as I let the rest of you praise the marvellous and unharmful benefits of the use of belts and wire hangers in modern parenting, I'll just warn anyone remotely suggesting that such methods are wrong, or even calling it child abuse, to be prepared to face an angry mob of RJ villagers (w pitchforks) who'll attack any heretic who doesn't acknowledge the use of violence as an acceptable tool in modern pedagogy.

    ref: http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1622652/

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    Aug 31, 2011 7:42 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said

    I think kids today are fucking spoiled shitheads and are never satisfied and always demand more more more. So materialistic, it concerns me. Kids are whinier, screechier, fatter, lazier and less appreciative than ever. It's awful.


    I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment.

    When my cousin is 'punished' for bringing home bad grades, he goes right up to his room with his ipod, ipad, wii, xbox, laptop, netflix account, tv etc.

    I also grew up durt poh as you put it. A night at the movies with siblings and my mom was the best! We were well behaved because we knew it was a rare treat to get to do this kind of stuff, so we enjoyed it and made sure my mom had a good time. We knew she worked hard for it. I just don't see kids these days appreciating what they have. They just take take take consume consume consume.
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    Aug 31, 2011 7:45 PM GMT
    judoguy saidit is possible to bring up kids "right" and set boundries without corporal punishment.

    I'll leave this thread at that.

    And as I let the rest of you praise the marvellous and unharmful benefits of the use of belts and wire hangers in modern parenting, I'll just warn anyone remotely suggesting that such methods are wrong, or even calling it child abuse, to be prepared to face an angry mob of RJ villagers (w pitchforks) who'll attack any heretic who doesn't acknowledge the use of violence as an acceptable tool in modern pedagogy.

    ref: http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1622652/

    Belts, wire hangars, bamboo shafts/twigs, water hoses, etc. etc. etc...and I can count the times they were used out of anger more than out of discipline.

    When my dad died in1994, I threw a party.

    This week I disowned my mom.

    <-- Not a supporter of violent/barbaric punishment.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Aug 31, 2011 7:47 PM GMT
    Yes. We all had rules to follow, pretty strict discipline. My Dad was a tank comander in the Army. My parents made sure we all had working papers by age 14 and jobs. We, all 5 sons, went onto college, and a few of us went on for advanced degrees. My both parents are and were loving and supportive. I was blessed to have them and never forget how fortunate we were through my Dad's hard work and sacrifice.
  • metta

    Posts: 39107

    Aug 31, 2011 7:51 PM GMT
    My parents were very strict but I had a great childhood. I could not have asked for anything else. I was always a good kid so I did not really get into big trouble. Family always came first. I could even call up my Dad at work when he was with a patient and he would leave the patient to talk to me. But we only did it if it was really important. If my Mom got tired of us...she used to say..."wait till your father gets home."


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    Aug 31, 2011 7:54 PM GMT
    judoguy saidit is possible to bring up kids "right" and set boundries without corporal punishment.

    I'll leave this thread at that.

    And as I let the rest of you praise the marvellous and unharmful benefits of the use of belts and wire hangers in modern parenting, I'll just warn anyone remotely suggesting that such methods are wrong, or even calling it child abuse, to be prepared to face an angry mob of RJ villagers (w pitchforks) who'll attack any heretic who doesn't acknowledge the use of violence as an acceptable tool in modern pedagogy.

    ref: http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1622652/



    Beatings work on some children and not on others. My parents spanked me when I was a kid and only stopped because I shot up like a weed pretty early haha. Sometimes they'd use a hairbrush but usually Dad would go out into the garage and carve a paddle out of a plank of wood (slowly for psychological effect haha). I turned out just fine and so did my siblings. Other people's children don't respond the same way.

    The issue of raising kids right though is an issue of showing kids boundaries and that those boundaries are enforced. Children crave structure and like a gas they'll expand to the boundaries you've given them and test the edges. Only when you push back - not necessarily with a belt, but push back nonetheless - do they recognize a border.

    - Larkin
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    Aug 31, 2011 8:17 PM GMT
    judoguy saidit is possible to bring up kids "right" and set boundries without corporal punishment.


    QFmuthaf***ingT

    What's up with this nostalgia for child abuse?
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    Aug 31, 2011 8:22 PM GMT
    By discipline I mean the parent makes an effort to shut a kid up or tell him/her that they shouldn't be acting out. It seems most parents just turn their heads.

    I remember in a parking lot once a little kid and his mother were walking out of a toy store. The kid took the hard clear plastic off his toy gun or whatever and just threw it on the ground as they walked. The mother didn't even stop him. I politely said, "Oops, I think he left something behind." This made the mother turn and pick it up so not to look bad for littering.

    A long time ago, maybe about 20 years ago, some teenagers were in a McDonald's parking lot throwing their trash out their car window. I blocked their car with mine and told them to get out and pick it up. They obeyed. Nowadays I just try to avoid bad parents and bad kids.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 31, 2011 8:31 PM GMT
    my baptist menonite father had a bar of lava soap (imbedded with my teeth marks) on the top glass shelf of the bathroom "medicine cabinet".

    when i did something that offended him and/or my mother (all too often in my childhood, given my hot german/russian temper and a sassy, smart assed mouth!); i was usually given the choice of the lava bar or his thick leather belt.

    to this day i can recall the pungent, gritty taste of that bar of soap.
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    Aug 31, 2011 8:31 PM GMT
    wildtype87 saidI acted out as a kid but was always disciplined promptly. I was whipped with belts and wire hangars (those STUNG, ouch!) and locked out of the house for a few hours on a couple occasions. My brother and I became pretty mild-mannered kids, and we were complimented many times for our good behavior.

    At the same time, I'm realizing that my mild-mannered nature has made me a bit of a doormat. This unwillingness to "act out" that I learned at a young age sometimes translates to not speaking up or saying "no" when I should. It's a double-edged sword I guess. icon_neutral.gif


    I know what you mean. My parents beat the spunk out of me also. I too was whipped with belts, hangers, flyswatters, wooden spoons, back hands, palms, in general anything that was at hand at the time. I grew up resenting all authority. Have never gotten along with a boss and it's crippled my career. I 've never stood up for myself for fear of being punished. I've always tried to "fly under the radar" through life so as not to call attention to myself, whether it was at school or work or socially. My parents crippled my siblings and me. To the outside world we were perfect, well behaved children when all we really were were scared, scarred defenseless children.

    There are intelligent ways to discipline children and brutal ways. All too often most parents choose the brutal because the results are swift but the emotional scars and wounds last a lifetime.
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    Aug 31, 2011 8:34 PM GMT
    newkid901 saidi was definitely disciplined as a kid. if my brother and i ever fought, my dad would make us kneel at the edge of our stone bricked fireplace. pretty rough either that or spank us with a stick.

    he'd even make us do squats around the house. (hands behind our back, squat and walk around like a duck, if that makes sense) talk about brutal! at least i have nice toned legs because of that lol


    Your father was a sadistic bully.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 31, 2011 8:35 PM GMT
    also, my father had a narrow eyed, eyebrows-almost-joined dirty "death" look that would freeze and silence me AND my noisy friends.

    i was a senior in high school before i realized that my father was shorter than me!

    icon_eek.gif
  • Midas426

    Posts: 965

    Aug 31, 2011 8:44 PM GMT
    My parents definitely raised my sisters and I right. My Dad put the 'fear of God' in us so it was rare that we ever got into any major trouble. I hope if I ever get to have kids one day that I'll do as good of a job. It is scary seeing how much kids of today get away with.
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    Aug 31, 2011 8:54 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    wildtype87 saidI acted out as a kid but was always disciplined promptly. I was whipped with belts and wire hangars (those STUNG, ouch!) and locked out of the house for a few hours on a couple occasions. My brother and I became pretty mild-mannered kids, and we were complimented many times for our good behavior.

    At the same time, I'm realizing that my mild-mannered nature has made me a bit of a doormat. This unwillingness to "act out" that I learned at a young age sometimes translates to not speaking up or saying "no" when I should. It's a double-edged sword I guess. icon_neutral.gif


    I know what you mean. My parents beat the spunk out of me also. I too was whipped with belts, hangers, flyswatters, wooden spoons, back hands, palms, in general anything that was at hand at the time. I grew up resenting all authority. Have never gotten along with a boss and it's crippled my career. I 've never stood up for myself for fear of being punished. I've always tried to "fly under the radar" through life so as not to call attention to myself, whether it was at school or work or socially. My parents crippled my siblings and me. To the outside world we were perfect, well behaved children when all we really were were scared, scarred defenseless children.

    There are intelligent ways to discipline children and brutal ways. All too often most parents choose the brutal because the results are swift but the emotional scars and wounds last a lifetime.
    Glad to know I'm not alone.
    Although, the military taught me how to get along with bosses and around the workplace; and now I'll stand up for myself regardless of the punishment.

    And this sentence says it all, and is what I think every time I see a well behaved child: "To the outside world we were perfect, well behaved children when all we really were were scared, scarred defenseless children."
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:09 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidThis week I disowned my mom.


    Wow, really? Sorry. icon_cry.gif Hugs.
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:10 PM GMT
    My folks did right by me. I learned lots of lessons the hard way and while I grew up pretty well off financially they still made my sibling and I get a job. They taught us the value of a dollar at a very young and basically said that if we wanted something I had to earn it. You quickly learn how to manage your money. Most kids sponge off their parents.

    Most people get paid to do chores. Not in my folks house. Why get paid to do something that you were going to do anyway and should already be doing? The payment in the long run was knowing how to do stuff and just having sheer respect and pride. You'd be surprised how many people don't know how to wash, cook or clean. Doing chores in my folks house was a basic way of "earning your keep" since I didn't pay for clothes, food, rent, school or all those other nice things I had freely. In short, it was the least my siblings and I could do.

    As for discipline for my folks believed in whipping that ass (within reason). The punishment fit the crime and I never got in trouble for the same thing twice. What most people would call child abuse I would call it a learning /discipline tool. As we got older my folks quit hitting us and turned to psychological warfare. When you are teenager what is worst thing your parents can do? Simple. Waste YOUR time, fuck with YOUR money, put a damper on YOUR social life and basically embarrass you.

    When we got grounded our time was spent doing tedious things. They didn't believe in the "sit in your room and do nothing" bit. Nope. Ever cut an acres (or more) worth of grass with toe nail clippers and be put on a time limit? Compared to the other stuff my folks made us do that was the easiest. Have you ever had a job and then had to forcefully quit it because your grades dropped and folks aren't having that. Their logic in the matter was if you can't manage work and your grades then you'll have to quit. Same with after school events. If you can't manage them and your grades then they have to go because they're distracting you from your main goal which was to get good grades. Guess what that does? That's fucking with your money because as I said my folks refused to give us money on a whim and it fucked with our social life. It all added up to being an embarrassing thing to have to quit our job or our after school events.

    Kids these days have it easy and the parents are weak and scared of them. A healthy dosage of fear and a nice reality check did wonders for me and my kin and we turned out pretty good. It'll do wonders for today's kids. I see jobless and penniless kids demanding stuff from their parents and threatening them. WTF! How does that work? On top of that they have the worst attitudes ever and you can't ever tell them shit because they think they know everything which is funny because they lack experience to back up their claim. Just spoiled and rotten to the core. I sometimes fear for the future but then I sit back and figure that eventually it will click in their heads and that things will be ok for them. One can dream, right?
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:21 PM GMT
    Yup my Daddy taught me not to take no one's shit and never back down and my Mama would tell me to compromise with people icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:33 PM GMT
    Well i was such a bad child my parents debating not having another kid...but they did and so lives my brother.

    I was a devil child but I was always punish with the belt. When I was really little my parents used to shut my door and tie it down so I couldn't open it from the outside and let me cry myself until I passed out on the floor.

    I'm surprised more parents don't use the belt these days....seemed to work well in the earlier generations. icon_smile.gif