Counselor told me he would prefer it if I wasn't gay.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2011 8:55 PM GMT
    Some of you know my partner of 10 years broke up with me due to a religious crisis a while back. I started seeing a counselor because of it. I thought I had dealt with my religious issues and accepted myself/place with God when it came to living the gay lifestyle vs. eternal damnation but because of my partner telling me he's dumping me because God wants him to be straight or celibate, and homosexuality is a sin I've sort of mentally reverted to a place where I have become uncomfortable with being gay and being true to myself.

    To make matters worse at my last counseling session the counselor and I got talking about damnation and God vs. being gay to which he said ...

    "You know, you have this fear of being damned and judgment that prompts all of your anxieties and worries about what others think about you. To be honest i would prefer that you weren't gay at all. You're a great guy; you should find a woman, get married and have kids. It's because of your past experiences that you conditioned yourself to believe you're gay."

    icon_eek.gif

    Uhhh ... yeah ... I've been seeing this guy for like 6 months and he has been helpful in the past but now he says this. That is really not helpful and it's kind of messed me up even more where I'm struggling with my sexuality, my self-confidence and religion again.

    Please help guys. Kind of don't want to go through this and feel this way anymore.
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:04 PM GMT
    Time to find a new counselor. He's not helpful and not objective. You didn't have to pay this guy for that "advice" did you?
    If you're really offended, you could make a complaint against him. This guy let his personal feelings get in the way of his professional work.
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:05 PM GMT
    You should not have to put up with a therapist advising you to be someone other than who you really are. I think the answer is really simple- find another counselor. Some people go through several before they find one they click with.
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:06 PM GMT
    Dump him. Do not go back and demand a refund for that session.

    I know things are more fucked up in the USA, but in the UK you could make a professional complaint against him. What he said is highly unprofessional and would get him in SERIOUS trouble in Europe.

    Sorry you have to go through this.
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:06 PM GMT
    I would have punched him in the face and told him to go suck his god's dick.
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:10 PM GMT


    It's your duty to report him to the board to have his license removed.

    His 'therapy' is extremely harmful and could lead to a suicide.

    If you are in Texas, you need to go here:

    http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/plc/plc_complain.shtm

    File a complaint, have his license revoked or suspended.

    Imagine him telling this bullshit to an impressionable 15 year old gay teen?

    Imagine if his words could lead him to committing suicide.

    You could potentially save LIVES by filing a complaint.

    Please don't hesitate to do so.

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    Aug 31, 2011 9:12 PM GMT
    DCUniversalGear saidIt's your duty to report him to the board to have his license removed.

    His 'therapy' is extremely harmful and could lead to a suicide.

    According to his profile he lives in Houston. The board would probably take his info, and shitcan it after he leaves.
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:13 PM GMT
    Ermine saidTime to find a new counselor. He's not helpful and not objective. You didn't have to pay this guy for that "advice" did you?
    If you're really offended, you could make a complaint against him. This guy let his personal feelings get in the way of his professional work.


    Iceblink saidYou should not have to put up with a therapist advising you to be someone other than who you really are. I think the answer is really simple- find another counselor. Some people go through several before they find one they click with.


    100% agreement!
    Sounds like you're living in the wrong place and/or should find a gay friendly church. They exist and are love cultivating places!

    Hugs to you!
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:20 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    DCUniversalGear saidIt's your duty to report him to the board to have his license removed.

    His 'therapy' is extremely harmful and could lead to a suicide.

    According to his profile he lives in Houston. The board would probably take his info, and shitcan it after he leaves.


    Filing a complaint will put his license under review.

    This usually means he can't counsel for awhile until it's resolved.

    It may not get his license revoked but it will be under his file and tarnish his name.
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:23 PM GMT
    Kindly reply "And I would prefer if you slit your throat and bled to death in front of me so as to spare anyone else of your fucking retarded mouth. Mmkay sweetums? ;D"
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:26 PM GMT
    Completely unprofessional. I'm so sorry. Don't buy into the bullshit.
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:27 PM GMT
    BuddyinNYC said
    Ermine saidTime to find a new counselor. He's not helpful and not objective. You didn't have to pay this guy for that "advice" did you?
    If you're really offended, you could make a complaint against him. This guy let his personal feelings get in the way of his professional work.


    Iceblink saidYou should not have to put up with a therapist advising you to be someone other than who you really are. I think the answer is really simple- find another counselor. Some people go through several before they find one they click with.


    100% agreement!
    Sounds like you're living in the wrong place and/or should find a gay friendly church. They exist and are love cultivating places!

    Hugs to you!


    I was raised Lutheran and it's hard to find a Lutheran church in Houston that is accepting. When it comes to "religion" changing your religion is easier said than done. I was raised know God's "wrath" rather than his love. Hard to flip that switch but I'm trying to. Thanks for the suggestion though.
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    Aug 31, 2011 9:36 PM GMT
    DCUniversalGear said

    It's your duty to report him to the board to have his license removed.

    His 'therapy' is extremely harmful and could lead to a suicide.

    If you are in Texas, you need to go here:

    http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/plc/plc_complain.shtm



    I will look into this, thanks.

    He a counselor though not an actual therapist. Tired of the search for a good one though.
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    Aug 31, 2011 10:21 PM GMT
    Stolenname said
    DCUniversalGear said

    It's your duty to report him to the board to have his license removed.

    His 'therapy' is extremely harmful and could lead to a suicide.

    If you are in Texas, you need to go here:

    http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/plc/plc_complain.shtm



    I will look into this, thanks.

    He a counselor though not an actual therapist. Tired of the search for a good one though.


    If he's not a professional and licensed, then you really shouldn't have been seeing him in the first place. Clearly he isn't qualified for this.

    Find a new LICENSED therapist.
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    Aug 31, 2011 10:40 PM GMT
    DCUniversalGear said
    paulflexes said
    DCUniversalGear saidIt's your duty to report him to the board to have his license removed.

    His 'therapy' is extremely harmful and could lead to a suicide.

    According to his profile he lives in Houston. The board would probably take his info, and shitcan it after he leaves.


    Filing a complaint will put his license under review.

    This usually means he can't counsel for awhile until it's resolved.

    It may not get his license revoked but it will be under his file and tarnish his name.
    It wouldn't tarnish his name. It would increase his clientele.
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    Sep 01, 2011 12:12 AM GMT
    Time to find a new counselor.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2011 12:28 AM GMT
    Yikes, DTMFA (Dump the mother fucker already).

    As for god's wrath, never ever forget that the bible is not god's word, but was written by humans thousands of years ago, humans whose life has so little in common with yours, that it is ridiculous how much credence is still given to their writings. The bible is full of "revelations", 'miracles', 'god's voice' etc that are most likely just bad dreams, hallucinations from food-poisoning or intoxication. By promising you the afterlife in paradise they try to keep you in line in this one.
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    Sep 01, 2011 12:31 AM GMT
    Get the fuck away from a religious counselor........ You'll NEVER hear the truth you need to from those vile people.
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    Sep 01, 2011 12:31 AM GMT
    Stolenname said
    BuddyinNYC said
    Ermine saidTime to find a new counselor. He's not helpful and not objective. You didn't have to pay this guy for that "advice" did you?
    If you're really offended, you could make a complaint against him. This guy let his personal feelings get in the way of his professional work.


    Iceblink saidYou should not have to put up with a therapist advising you to be someone other than who you really are. I think the answer is really simple- find another counselor. Some people go through several before they find one they click with.


    100% agreement!
    Sounds like you're living in the wrong place and/or should find a gay friendly church. They exist and are love cultivating places!

    Hugs to you!


    I was raised Lutheran and it's hard to find a Lutheran church in Houston that is accepting. When it comes to "religion" changing your religion is easier said than done. I was raised know God's "wrath" rather than his love. Hard to flip that switch but I'm trying to. Thanks for the suggestion though.


    I understand your situation much better now. ... ...
    (I would never suggest anyone change their religion. Sorry if my suggestion may have sounded like that.)
    What about an anonymous listing on Craigs' List, virtually looking for an underground Lutheran congregation that is gay(friendly)? There must be others like you.

    Best of luck. Hugs!
  • RHUK

    Posts: 273

    Sep 01, 2011 12:38 AM GMT
    Sounds like a total dick, get rid of him!

    Ive never been able to reconcile religion and homosexuality, but if youre going to try it, youll want a counselor who isnt a complete douche
  • gcoastmark

    Posts: 83

    Sep 01, 2011 12:49 AM GMT
    bhp91126 saidYikes, DTMFA (Dump the mother fucker already).

    As for god's wrath, never ever forget that the bible is not god's word, but was written by humans thousands of years ago, humans whose life has so little in common with yours, that it is ridiculous how much credence is still given to their writings. The bible is full of "revelations", 'miracles', 'god's voice' etc that are most likely just bad dreams, hallucinations from food-poisoning or intoxication. By promising you the afterlife in paradise they try to keep you in line in this one.


    Totally agree...didn't mention that a ton of writings were reviewed and never made the editorial cut. You need to drop the mo'fo...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2011 12:53 AM GMT
    The " Therapist" is not professional. period.

    Move on with your life and start with a new professional therapist.!

    BE good to yourself, you are only human my friend,icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 01, 2011 12:56 AM GMT
    Stolenname saidSome of you know my partner of 10 years broke up with me due to a religious crisis a while back. I started seeing a counselor because of it. I thought I had dealt with my religious issues and accepted myself/place with God when it came to living the gay lifestyle vs. eternal damnation but because of my partner telling me he's dumping me because God wants him to be straight or celibate, and homosexuality is a sin I've sort of mentally reverted to a place where I have become uncomfortable with being gay and being true to myself.

    To make matters worse at my last counseling session the counselor and I got talking about damnation and God vs. being gay to which he said ...

    "You know, you have this fear of being damned and judgment that prompts all of your anxieties and worries about what others think about you. To be honest i would prefer that you weren't gay at all. You're a great guy; you should find a woman, get married and have kids. It's because of your past experiences that you conditioned yourself to believe you're gay."

    icon_eek.gif

    Uhhh ... yeah ... I've been seeing this guy for like 6 months and he has been helpful in the past but now he says this. That is really not helpful and it's kind of messed me up even more where I'm struggling with my sexuality, my self-confidence and religion again.

    Please help guys. Kind of don't want to go through this and feel this way anymore.


    I don't think he means his words. He's just tired of you and ready to move on to the next client. Maybe he's not seeing much progress, which brings the entire situation back to you: why are you so reluctant to embrace your homosexuality? Why do you make it such a big deal? Where did you get the idea that gays are damned for eternity?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 01, 2011 12:57 AM GMT
    Ridiculous and I agree he isn't professional.

    Kick him to the curb and get another counselor. Get professional references
    and put him/her on a trial period until you get some idea of what they are all about.
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    Sep 01, 2011 12:58 AM GMT
    DCUniversalGear said

    It's your duty to report him to the board to have his license removed.

    His 'therapy' is extremely harmful and could lead to a suicide.

    If you are in Texas, you need to go here:

    http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/plc/plc_complain.shtm

    File a complaint, have his license revoked or suspended.

    Imagine him telling this bullshit to an impressionable 15 year old gay teen?

    Imagine if his words could lead him to committing suicide.

    You could potentially save LIVES by filing a complaint.

    Please don't hesitate to do so.




    ^^^^^
    THIS
    I will go a step further and tell you it's your DUTY to report this scum bag. Think what kind of damage he could (will) do to a younger, more impressionable man!