Where did you meet your best gay friends?

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    Sep 01, 2011 2:18 AM GMT
    So, in ways, I'm still relatively new to SF and even more new to dating another guy. Good friends have always been a big part of where I invest my energy, but since most of mine here are straight, I've decided I need to hunt down more gay pals who understand that aspect of me.

    Fortunately, I'm in a city with lots of friend prospects. However, I've noticed you have to be a lot more diligent in putting yourself in situations where you make new connections as you hit your 30s. The natural bumping around can slow as people get content to sit at home with significant others.

    Anyway, I'm wondering what venues and activities have led to your best gay friendships. I like bars, but as a nerd I need to keep brushing up my skills on meeting people there. Links to activity groups and such are welcome too.
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    Sep 01, 2011 2:26 AM GMT
    Lots of people will say "join this" and "join that" but in reality, the same people who are in those groups will be the same people you see in the bars, for the most part.

    In other words, gay bars and clubs are still the best place to make gay friends unless you happen across one at work.
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    Sep 01, 2011 2:27 AM GMT
    Online
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    Sep 01, 2011 2:30 AM GMT
    Online and college.
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    Sep 01, 2011 2:35 AM GMT
    Many back in my college days, a couple were coworkers, one lived across the hall from an apartment I once lived, some at parties, some at bars and some through other friends.
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Sep 01, 2011 2:36 AM GMT
    Bars....Online....Hooked up in the past.....

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    Sep 01, 2011 2:45 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidIn 7th grade during art class. Still best friends after all these years.
    Also, here on RJ, I have a few that I am Very Close to.
    Oh yeah, almost forgot about that one.
    RJ definitely has the cream of the crop, hand down. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 01, 2011 2:51 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    TheGuyNextDoor saidIn 7th grade during art class. Still best friends after all these years.
    Also, here on RJ, I have a few that I am Very Close to.
    Oh yeah, almost forgot about that one.
    RJ definitely has the cream of the crop, hand down. icon_biggrin.gif


    Cream of the crop and "hand down" in the same sentence makes me think you're having a little too much fun on RJ...
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Sep 01, 2011 4:11 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidLots of people will say "join this" and "join that" but in reality, the same people who are in those groups will be the same people you see in the bars, for the most part.

    In other words, gay bars and clubs are still the best place to make gay friends unless you happen across one at work.


    I totally disagree, at least where I live. The activist community is substantially different than the barflies. Find an interest, whether it be activism, business, sports, religious or recreational in nature. You can meet people in bars, too, but my best friends I mostly met through organizations and friends.
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    Sep 01, 2011 4:12 AM GMT
    One in middle school (before he came out as gay) and one in high school (before he came out as bi).
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    Sep 01, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    I met my best friend Jeff here on this site last September. So much in common and have been actively building our friendship since then. Great guy. Life wouldn't be the same without him. :-)

    Elliott and I met via an ex roommate and when the roommate and I parted ways, Elliott and I continued our palship.
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    Sep 01, 2011 4:32 AM GMT
    My best gay friends I met in High School.

    Since then, I've met gay friends in a variety of different places. None that I have met in bars am I friends with to this day.

    I am also new to San Francisco. I've been here just over a year. Although I have not yet had the opportunity to really go out and meet gay friends, I have met some gay, lesbian, transgendered folks through the professional association which I serve.

    I'm sure I will meet more outside of that one avenue once my term is complete in 573 days. That will free up quite a bit of time.

    I've actually met several guys here on Real Jock, then met these guys in real life.

    Welcome to SF. Welcome to Real Jock!

    Aloha and Be Well!
    Alan
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Sep 01, 2011 4:36 AM GMT
    HaightLifting saidSo, in ways, I'm still relatively new to SF and even more new to dating another guy. Good friends have always been a big part of where I invest my energy, but since most of mine here are straight, I've decided I need to hunt down more gay pals who understand that aspect of me.

    Fortunately, I'm in a city with lots of friend prospects. However, I've noticed you have to be a lot more diligent in putting yourself in situations where you make new connections as you hit your 30s. The natural bumping around can slow as people get content to sit at home with significant others.

    Anyway, I'm wondering what venues and activities have led to your best gay friendships. I like bars, but as a nerd I need to keep brushing up my skills on meeting people there. Links to activity groups and such are welcome too.
    i met my best gay friends at the gym.
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    Sep 01, 2011 4:42 AM GMT
    Bar, work, online, and volunteering

    I've heard several people new to San Francisco complain about it's hard to make new friends. Find things you like doing and join a group for it. Volunteer, check out The Center, take a class, join a sports team, or see if there's any gay meetup groups for things you enjoy around town.
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    Sep 01, 2011 4:44 AM GMT
    It came attached to my left arm.
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    Sep 01, 2011 4:48 AM GMT
    cold said
    paulflexes said
    TheGuyNextDoor saidIn 7th grade during art class. Still best friends after all these years.
    Also, here on RJ, I have a few that I am Very Close to.
    Oh yeah, almost forgot about that one.
    RJ definitely has the cream of the crop, hand down. icon_biggrin.gif


    Cream of the crop and "hand down" in the same sentence makes me think you're having a little too much fun on RJ...
    I started to put "no pun intended" at the end, but it's actually a double-entendre on purpose. icon_cool.gif
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    Sep 01, 2011 4:49 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidIt came attached to my left arm.
    You came on your left arm? icon_eek.gif
  • Zcube

    Posts: 40

    Sep 01, 2011 4:51 AM GMT
    I met mine online and in college.

    He wanted to date me, He wasn't my type of guy but i bet him we'd last longer as friends than we would if we got into a relationship. We've been best friends for over 7 years!

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    Sep 01, 2011 4:56 AM GMT
    JP85257 saidBars....Online....Hooked up in the past.....



    Why doesn't any of that surprise me?

    Well, my two (gay) best friends right now: one of them I met in college. We've known each other since our first days as freshmen...then we were RAs together. My other gay best friend--I went to HS with. I use to have the biggest crush on him because he was that typical hot jock-type with the muscle car and girlfriend. Turns out he was a big ol' mo. My other best friend (who is straight) was one of my residents when I was his RA; then I was his manager at a job somewhere and we've been friends ever since.

    I have some other really awesome (gay) friends who are just amazing. It is something I recognize everyday, all the time and incredibly grateful for everyday.
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    Sep 01, 2011 4:56 AM GMT
    JP85257 saidBars....Online....Hooked up in the past.....


    Why doesn't any of that surprise me?

    Well, my two (gay) best friends right now: one of them I met in college. We've known each other since our first days as freshmen...then we were RAs together. My other gay best friend--I went to HS with. I use to have the biggest crush on him because he was that typical hot jock-type with the muscle car and girlfriend. Turns out he was a big ol' mo. My other best friend (who is straight) was one of my residents when I was his RA; then I was his manager at a job somewhere and we've been friends ever since.

    I have some other really awesome (gay) friends who are just amazing. It is something I recognize everyday, all the time and incredibly grateful for everyday.
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    Sep 01, 2011 5:05 AM GMT
    I only have one gay and one lesbian friend. Both I met them at the gym. One as a co-worker the other as a member.
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    Sep 01, 2011 5:09 AM GMT
    My one and only best gay male friend since adolescence was from a close-knit co-ed boarding school in a conservative Muslim majority country . . . and BOY did that turn out to be something icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 01, 2011 5:37 AM GMT
    Well i've met a few good friends on this site and we have become friends for a few months now. Going on chat does help a bit because not all those there want to wank or watch others wank. Some just go in there for some conversations and over time you get to know them and they get to know you and you see there are things in common so you become friends icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 01, 2011 6:11 AM GMT
    Cracker Jacks Box. Worked for me. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2011 7:11 AM GMT
    My coming out group, so to speak, on a gay BBS.

    A gay social group in town, now defunct for over a decade.

    The gay football circuit.

    Managed to also meet a couple great guys on gay.com (who were then in town) and also some right here on RJ.