Gods going to strike me dead.....

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    Sep 01, 2011 4:37 PM GMT
    Have you ever been involved in a comical compromising position & thouht God is going to strike me dead....

    Ex. I was in barnes & noble, got up to the checkout line & the cashiers jaw dropped. I looked down and had picked up a gay porn mag, a childrens book for my son & a kirk franklin gospel cd. Lmao. She studdered thru the whole transaction.

    I said thank u & waited for lightening to strike leaving the store, lmao!
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    Sep 01, 2011 5:02 PM GMT
    When did B&N start selling gay porn? I was just at my local one last night, and I could barely even find any regular gay magazines...

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    Sep 01, 2011 5:05 PM GMT
    It's OK. I think God has a sense of humor (just look at nature and you'll see what I'm talking about). I'm sure He was up there laughing his holy butt off.
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    Sep 01, 2011 5:07 PM GMT
    You'd make an excellent baptist preacher. icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 01, 2011 5:15 PM GMT
    satan.jpg
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    Sep 01, 2011 5:26 PM GMT
    You could have told her they were for your local parish priest.
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    Sep 01, 2011 5:27 PM GMT
    DoomsDayAlpaca saidsatan.jpg


    omg i love pondering dinosaur
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    Sep 01, 2011 5:28 PM GMT
    Remember, Jesus hung out with the hookers and the lepers.
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    Sep 01, 2011 5:32 PM GMT
    lmao philosoraptor
  • JP85257

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    Sep 01, 2011 5:32 PM GMT
    2 times a day. I have a pretty fucked up sense of humor and no filter.
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    Sep 01, 2011 5:44 PM GMT
    spiffy saidWhen did B&N start selling gay porn? I was just at my local one last night, and I could barely even find any regular gay magazines...



    Exactly! It would appear that they've removed some here. I could not find the "Advocate" or "Queer". Then, again, I am in the south. So, who knows, but they use to carry it. I'm sure the powers that be where pressured by some idiots to remove them or something along those lines.
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    Sep 01, 2011 6:05 PM GMT
    RunintheCity saidRemember, Jesus hung out with the hookers and the lepers.


    He was also accused of being a drunkard, greedy, and he certainly liked parties! When you read John's Gospel the very first miracle he did was where? ...at a wedding party. And please know, weddings today can't touch weddings during that time. They lasted any where from a week to two. They knew how to party. Jesus was a people person through and through and he liked to have a nice time. Jesus was a radical and possibly gay. icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 01, 2011 6:07 PM GMT
    medfordguy saidYou could have told her they were for your local parish priest.


    hahahahahaha +1
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    Sep 01, 2011 6:09 PM GMT
    thecanadianone said
    DoomsDayAlpaca saidsatan.jpg


    omg i love pondering dinosaur



    philosoraptor
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Sep 01, 2011 6:54 PM GMT
    When I was about 12 or 13, I went to confession and confessed that I masturbated. Masturbation is considered a sin in Catholicism. For my "penance" the priest told me to say 3 Our Fathers and 3 Hail Marys and imagine myself masturbating on the altar.

    So I did that right away and that was the beginning of the end of my faith in religion.
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    Sep 01, 2011 6:57 PM GMT
    coolarmydude saidWhen I was about 12 or 13, I went to confession and confessed that I masturbated. Masturbation is considered a sin in Catholicism. For my "penance" the priest told me to say 3 Our Fathers and 3 Hail Marys and imagine myself masturbating on the altar.

    So I did that right away and that was the beginning of the end of my faith in religion.
    Are you sure you didn't misunderstand him, and he actually said videotape yourself masturbating on the altar?
  • coolarmydude

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    Sep 01, 2011 7:05 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidAre you sure you didn't misunderstand him, and he actually said videotape yourself masturbating on the altar?


    If he was that type, he would have told me to meet him at the rectory. icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 01, 2011 7:21 PM GMT
    I just hide the porn under my jacket so god can't see it and walk out the front door.
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    Sep 01, 2011 7:21 PM GMT
    LOL! I was sharing this with my roommate who then told me about his fraternity. He said they were hazing the little brothers and they made this one guy go into a store and purchase K-Y jelly a cucumber and a Teen Beat magazine. LMAO! He said the cashier was very deadpan faced about the whole thing. haha!
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    Sep 01, 2011 7:30 PM GMT
    When I bought a gay magazine for the first time,I slipped on someone's spilled drink and the pages opened up on two guys fucking one another ..An old lady picked the magazine......icon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gif
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    Sep 01, 2011 7:39 PM GMT
    Children's book $8.99, gospel CD $14.99, porno mag $12.99.

    Shock value, Priceless!

    Got a great laugh out of this one, thanks.

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    Sep 01, 2011 7:39 PM GMT
    Yeah usually when I say or do something that is very callous, usually about a patient about to die but its much better when someone is in on it with you and you can say" damn, "X" we are goin to hell"

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    Sep 01, 2011 7:50 PM GMT
    God gives you freedom of will. Thus he would never strike you down for doing such a dreadful thing. But.........may not mean we want pay for things later. But thats the bit some hate, they never want to pay for their actions.

    We even have those who have had the wife and kids, and now want a Gold Card. Now thats never gonna happen either.
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    Sep 01, 2011 9:10 PM GMT
    lol, you can look at the same stuff on the internet. for free.
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    Sep 01, 2011 9:21 PM GMT
    Back in the early 1980s I started buying Playgirl magazines over the counter at ordinary stores that had them. As an Army Officer I didn't want to be seen going into XXX adult stores.

    So I'd get a Playgirl, sometimes having to ask for it because it was hidden behind the counter, but also get a men's mag like a Penthouse or Hustler as my cover. And when I got a funny look from the clerk at the register, I'd say: "One for me, one for her."

    Back home I'd toss the men's mag in the trash, and wank off to the Playgirl. Unless the men's mag featured a photo spread with a couple, where the guy was naked, too, and then I'd keep it.

    God hasn't struck me dead yet.