For those who get disappointed when they don't get responses from emails that they send to RealJocks .......

  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Sep 03, 2011 7:38 PM GMT
    It is very flattering to get emails from others, and I don't take it for granted. I try to respond to anyone who writes to me as long as it is not something ridiculous or overtly sexual. That being said...there seems to be a bunch of guys who get frustrated when they send an email and get no response.

    This is one that I got today--- with name changed to protect.

    Hey man,

    I just ran across your profile and thought I'd drop you a line and say hi. You seem like a very cool, nice guy.

    How was your week? Any fun plans for the the long weekend?

    Aaron


    Ok....simple enough. But. When I look at it, I think to myself that it reads like a form letter. I mean....is there anything personal in here? Anything that lets me know that this guy even looked at my profile? Not even addressed by my screen name. Plus....it puts everything on me to answer....how was my week, talk about my plans. It might be more inviting to answer if Aaron said anything about what he was up to. Maybe he might point out a common interest between us?

    Like I said before, I am trying to be constructive here and I can imagine what is in store for me for bringing this up. But more than just a few times there have been threads started re: "why doesn't anyone like me", "why doesn't anyone talk to me", "why doesn't anyone answer me"......

    Simple rule of thumb- Offer something, put yourself out there a bit, personalize it.

    Well those are my thoughts.... what do you think?
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    Sep 03, 2011 7:41 PM GMT
    Whatever gramps.
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    Sep 03, 2011 7:47 PM GMT
    I always try to find something in common and bring it up in the PM. I don't say much for fear of sounding like it's all about me. I ask the polite initial questions; How are you? I hope you're having a great day,etc. anything that would start a conversation.
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    Sep 03, 2011 7:55 PM GMT
    silverfox saidWell those are my thoughts.... what do you think?

    Doesn't bother me, since I tend to be rather military-formal in my communications myself. I do always try to include personal references to the recipient as appropriate, as FastlaneKid does, but sometimes there's no opportunity.

    As for another poster calling you "Gramps," a total cheap shot, unless he mistakenly thinks he was being funny. I'm 11 years older than you. Making me, what? Great-gramps? icon_eek.gif
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    Sep 03, 2011 8:13 PM GMT
    read the damn profile and then say something interesting... like ask FastLane if his headline is in Armenian or Quenya

    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 03, 2011 8:29 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidread the damn profile and then say something interesting... like ask FastLane if his headline is in Armenian or Quenya

    icon_rolleyes.gif


    It's Armenianicon_smile.gif
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    Sep 03, 2011 8:46 PM GMT
    honestly i got one like "wassssup cutie" last night and i was just like no. usually, some people bring up the myers briggs thing and that's a great conversation, especially since it shows that they read my profile. i respond to virtually anyone unless - they basically say nothing aka "you're hot" and that's it or they have no picture.

    it's always good to make a new friend even if i'm not that interested physically.
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Sep 03, 2011 8:54 PM GMT
    mikeinslc saidWhatever gramps.


    Note from the OP: Hey thanks guy for coming to my defense but you know at my age my skin is tough as leather anyway HaHa. I kind of knew I was asking for trouble a bit with this thread....but nevertheless I will press on because I would like to start a dialogue to help....others....start a dialogue icon_lol.gif


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    Sep 03, 2011 8:59 PM GMT
    I think you are over-thinking the whole thing.

    Some people are not going to write a 10 minute long message... because like you said, some people won't write back. So they keep it simple to begin with, and if they get a response they will be more likely to personalize it knowing you took interest in chatting with them.
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Sep 03, 2011 10:48 PM GMT
    ULmatt saidI think you are over-thinking the whole thing.

    Some people are not going to write a 10 minute long message... because like you said, some people won't write back. So they keep it simple to begin with, and if they get a response they will be more likely to personalize it knowing you took interest in chatting with them.


    Matt not suggesting a ten minute long message. But maybe one item....something like "Hey I was looking at your profile (name) and I noticed we both like tennis, OR I like your eyes OR..... well, anything.

    I am trying to address people who don't get responses...and ways that they can possibly change that.
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    Sep 03, 2011 10:51 PM GMT
    mikeinslc saidWhatever gramps.
    Shutup fatty.
    fatty.gif
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    Sep 03, 2011 10:54 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidAs for another poster calling you "Gramps," a total cheap shot, unless he mistakenly thinks he was being funny. I'm 11 years older than you. Making me, what? Great-gramps? icon_eek.gif
    That's a good one. I'll remember that.
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    Sep 03, 2011 10:59 PM GMT
    I rarely message guys on here unless I know them from the forums, but when I send messags on dating sites it's usually "Hey, how's it going?" I have a decently high reply rate.

    If somebody I'm not interested in messages me I'll just ignore it. If they're not a complete stalker or something then they should forget that they even messaged me within a week or two. That's what happens to me, anyways. I've sometimes accidentally messaged people again a couple of weeks later and then realized I'd already sent them one.
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    Sep 03, 2011 10:59 PM GMT
    ULmatt saidI think you are over-thinking the whole thing.

    Some people are not going to write a 10 minute long message... because like you said, some people won't write back. So they keep it simple to begin with, and if they get a response they will be more likely to personalize it knowing you took interest in chatting with them.


    I agree, there have been times I've poured my heart out into a response only to have it go unaswered.

    I do however tend to like mentioning something about their profile, but not the picture. you dont even want to let them know they are cute until they atleast respond or better yet, say it first.

    i think with the op, there was nothing wrong with the reply. he wrote a detailed message with a question, you could have said whatever and then asked him a question.
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    Sep 03, 2011 11:03 PM GMT
    Well maybe if dudes on here actually filled out their profiles... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 04, 2011 2:17 AM GMT
    Anduru said
    mikeinslc saidWhatever gramps.
    Shutup fatty.
    fatty.gif


    God I bet that guy smells.
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    Sep 04, 2011 2:21 AM GMT
    mikeinslc said
    Anduru said
    mikeinslc saidWhatever gramps.
    Shutup fatty.
    fatty.gif
    God I bet that guy smells.
    Probably smells like you.
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    Sep 04, 2011 3:49 AM GMT
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