Your man is now getting close to a woman. You confronted him and he says that he is a bisexual...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 3:34 PM GMT
    Would you move on or stick to him?
    This is my story and I have ditched him..though it was painful.
    To be very honest, I do not consider bisexuality a normal phenomena.

    What do you have to say?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 3:47 PM GMT
    You did right.
    Bisexuality as normal as gay or straight.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 3:50 PM GMT
    Upper_Canadian saidYou did right.
    Bisexuality as normal as gay or straight.


    It could be normal...But I can't stick to man who has sex with a girl icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif
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    Sep 04, 2011 3:54 PM GMT
    It's weird because every man who knew i dated girls sid it's ok and ome even found it sexy. But if he did not cheat on u with a girl then why should u dump him? That's so "heterophobic"
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    Sep 04, 2011 3:58 PM GMT
    dinoalexit saidWould you move on or stick to him?
    This is my story and I have ditched him..though it was painful.
    To be very honest, I do not consider bisexuality a normal phenomena.

    What do you have to say?

    Bisexuality is completely normal, as normal as being gay is. But it may not be RIGHT for YOU in your lover.

    Plus this guy appears to have misrepresented himself to you, and is not prepared to remain faithful & devoted to you alone, no matter what gender he's with. Therefore, that validates your decision to ditch him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 4:19 PM GMT
    I can't say i'm not curious about it. I actually had my first kiss with a girl last night. I didn't want to ditch my friend who drove me else would have ended up at her place. she was trying to get my friend to stay but he couldn't :-/ But i'm single right now and don't mind exploring that side of me.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Sep 04, 2011 5:11 PM GMT
    dinoalexit said
    It could be normal...But I can't stick to man who has sex with a girl icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif


    Is it because of his bisexuality or because of his promiscuity? The two are entirely different reasons.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 5:21 PM GMT
    I wouldnt stay. I wouldnt want a part time partner.
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    Sep 04, 2011 5:24 PM GMT
    I probably wouldn't stay either, but that's just because I want only a gay partner; not bisexual or pansexual. I can't say if you did the "right" thing, not that there is such a thing in this situation. But you did what you felt was best, and that's totally fine.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 5:29 PM GMT
    If we had agreed to a monogamous relationship, I wouldn't stay either but only because of his promiscuity with another person as opposed to his bisexuality.
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    Sep 04, 2011 5:36 PM GMT
    It's the possible infidelity that is the issue, not the sexuality. If he was getting close to another guy and said "I am VERY gay" would you feel better?
  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Sep 04, 2011 5:39 PM GMT
    l would do the same and say it was nice knowing you goodbye!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 5:44 PM GMT
    I'd have a three way with them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 6:12 PM GMT
    It's funny how gays keep saying they want tolerance from others and yet you are the most intolerant people out there. You think it's easy for us to deal with all of this ? Like it's a game or something ? Well no, it's not. It is very very hard for us to deal with all of this, getting rejected by everyone because they "think" we are gonna leave them or cheat on them for someone of the other sex.

    Maybe it happens sometimes but the problem is, everyone keeps GENERALIZING about it, like we are some kind of sex starving monsters that fucks everything that moves. But guess what, it's not more different than, for exemple, a gay in a monogamous relationship cheating on his boyfriend with another guy. Did he cheat on you because he's gay ? No, he cheated on you because HE'S an idiot and he can't control himself, his sexual orientation has nothing to do with that. It's the same thing for us.

    For me, I have never cheated on anyone. I love someone for his/her personnality and the way the person makes me feel, not because of his/her sex, I couldn't care less about that because I love them both. I love a human being ! That's all. My ex boyfriend didn't understand that. I loved him so much but because a girl was all over me and wanted to sleep with me, he assumed that I was gonna fuck her and leave him for her which wasn't even a possibility considering I didnt give a shit about her and I was already in love with someone else. But he left me for that without even talking to me..

    So to keep it short, please STOP assuming things, stop acting impulsively, be tolerant, be open minded and most important thing, COMMUNICATE ! If the guy did cheat on you, either its with a guy or a girl, then go ahead and break up with him. But don't blame his sexual orientation for that, blame his stupidity.

    I'm just so sick of gays saying they don't even wanna talk to you if you're bi because they assume we are gonna have sex with a bunch of women while we are with them, which is totally false. We're not more likely to cheat on someone because we're bi more than anyone else. You are just ASSUMING that.

    Anyway, sorry for the big wall of text but I had to give my opinion and I hope it's clear enough because as you have probably noticed, english isn't my first language. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 8:02 PM GMT
    I'm fascinated by bisexuality. on an intellectual level I understand and accept it, and try to keep an open mind. My guess is there are probably more bisexuals in the world than those who are 100% pure homosexuals ( icon_lol.gif ) and heterosexuals combined, so we have to accept them I supose icon_razz.gif

    on an emotional level though there are things I may never understand about the bisexual mind. just like my straight friends accept my homosexuality, but probably can't relate at all to how it's like being a gay man.

    Personally I wouldn't exclude a relationship w a bisexual man, but I also wouldn't have unrealistic expectations of a "til death do us part" type of monogamous thing.
    Basically because 1) I think true monogamy is a rarity and not the norm. People are mostly periodically monogamous, not for life.
    2) if he's truly bisexual, wouldn't it be a huge sacrifice for him to suppress (half) his sexuality for the rest of his life in a monogamous relationship? (don't think that'll happen). In a way it'd be selfish to expect him to...

    but bi guys also have to accept that being openly bi, will probably make their partners insecure on some level... like how long is he able to suppress his desire for women?
  • UVaRob9

    Posts: 282

    Sep 04, 2011 8:46 PM GMT
    I've been watching these threads for a few weeks and noticed that no one brings up the following point: men and women are different. With each one, there's a set of societal expectations and opinions, plus you've also got to consider the individual expectations of each one and these are largely distinct because the objectives of the relationships are different. Was he longing for a different relationship dynamic or was it just that he was all about sleeping with her?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 8:53 PM GMT
    I'd ask him why he didn't tell me in the first place that he is more than incidentally bisexual or bi-curious. I would then ask him why he's making serious moves on someone else, regardless of the gender! Then, I would make him tell me whether or not he wants a serious, committed relationship or if he wants to 'break up' and continue to see other people.

    And bisexuality is a totally NORMAL thing for a certain percentage of the population, as is being bi-curious. Just like being straight, gay, lesbian, or asexual is NORMAL for certain percentages of the population.
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    Sep 04, 2011 9:30 PM GMT


    You did the right thing if it felt like an unhealthy choice to stay with someone who might be in transition, and/or unsure of their sexuality. Bi-sexuality can be quite normal in some men/people, and other times it is societal pressure to conform to "masculine" roles, and the guilt associated with self definition. Often this is culturally decided. You are in India? Are all "gays" considered "bottoms" or playing the female role outside the bedroom?
    I have come across male bi-sexual lovers that don't consider it cheating if it is a member of the opposite sex. Disassociation of both worlds can lead to psychological conflict with all concerned, but especially the primary "disassociator".
    Much healthier if all parties concerned are aware of each other, and ok with it.
    It really all boils down to what you want in a partner, what is healthy for you, and what is mutually agreed upon. Good Luck!
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Sep 04, 2011 10:15 PM GMT
    if it's because he cheated on you, that's one thing... but if it's only because he's bi, then you're lame and he's the one that shouldn't be in a relationship with you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 10:18 PM GMT
    Nah i wouldn't able to see him hanging with girls n acting like so straight ..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 10:30 PM GMT
    prompted me to make a thread about my situation. Didn't want to derail this one but would like to hear your opinions. I'm bi curious.

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1792570
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 10:52 PM GMT
    Depends. Is he just bi or is he likely to act on the attraction? Gay men aren't immune to being attracted to other guys. My partner and I often point out guys we think are hot to each other. And I'm attracted to women sometimes but we are monogamous. If he is bi and willing to be faithful why not stick with him?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 10:54 PM GMT
    I think it depends on you; if you broke it off because his bisexual inclination threatens you & you think he'd never be able to commit to anyone else, then I'd have to say you made the wrong choice.
    If you think he'll get his dick wet anywhere anytime, then it's your call.

    My boyfriend has only had one gay relationship before me, the rest were with women. I've slept with women, but am very much on the gay end of the spectrum. We live together. Every once in a while I'll hear him mention a female friend or co-worker and I'll find myself wondering "Does he want to bang her?" Im honestly not even sure i've ever heard him refer to himself as gay, but that aside, Ive concluded that he isn't the cheating type, he'd be dumb as a box of hair to choose a woman over me, and if he ever did slip & bang a broad as a one time thing I don't want to know about it; no one is perfect....Plus, I know he loves getting banged a hell of alot more then he does doing the banging ; )
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Sep 04, 2011 11:14 PM GMT
    Someguy89,

    I don't think it's that. Gays are struggling with acceptance and when people say it's a choice bisexuality complicates it because then it makes people against gays think they don't have to be gay so it makes a lot of gay people resentful even if it's a bit short sighted. Also saying one is bi is more acceptable than saying one is gay. It's tolerated better. Most people seem to have a problem when a guy is bi because of the same-sex side of it.
    The other issue I think with being bi is that a gay/straight partner may worry about not being able to fulfill their bi partner needs since they are only one of the sexes their partner is attracted too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 11:21 PM GMT
    Don't think the problem is that he is bisexual. The problem is if he thinks that giveshim the right to be unfaithful. If thats the case - ditch him.