Your first boyfriend!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 10, 2008 2:57 PM GMT
    What was your age and where have you met him?

    And were you out or not?


    I am trying to analyse my current situation a bit. I am 21 and I've never had a boyfriend. Just meaningless sex dates. I just had two fantastic days with friends and I met a guy that made me realise what type of man I am "looking" for. Unfortunately he's heterosexual. But I am getting so tired of myself, I am analysing every guy I meet. And of course this is a struggle many people have, but it helps getting it confirmed again hehe.
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    May 10, 2008 8:13 PM GMT
    I have yet to actually have a boyfriend. I've messed around with a few guys on more than one date, but nothing long term. icon_sad.gif I'm holding out for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now.

    I know where you are coming from Monir, though I think part of my problem was my body. I'm not a "jock" or attractive looking...yet. But I'm working on it. 1 - to feel good about myself...and be able to see my feet!!! 2 - so that I can get that kind of man I want. 3 - so that I can tell all the "jocks" or other superficial stuck-ups on here, and in person, to go find a dildo instead. You didn't even want to talk to me as a friend when I was big, and now you expect me to date you now that I'm fit?

    Revenge can be such a big motivation. LOL But its mostly about and for myself than that.
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    May 11, 2008 1:05 AM GMT
    I was 21. To be honest you probably won't meet anyone thats perfect, and your first boyfriend probably will be a jerk in a few ways, because most young gays have the reputation for being fuck ups. But here's for trying.

    Dan Savage always says "All relationships fail until one doesn't."

    If I were you I'd see if you can't fall into something you think might be good... or at least fun... and if it doesn't work, it doesn't. There are plenty of guys who would kill to be in the same position as you.

    Sadly, some have. Der.
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    May 11, 2008 5:05 AM GMT
    I was 21 and was with him for 30 plusssssssss years and we are still good friends !
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    May 11, 2008 5:34 AM GMT
    My first boyfriend came into my life about 2 months before my 30th birthday. I wasn't out at the time, but was very close to finally telling everyone before I met him.

    He was 16 years my senior, and taught me so much about life, love and sex. He allowed me to take my time with my sexuality, and made me feel very comfortable about living as a gay guy.

    But - he stood me up on my 30th birthday to go to a sauna. Meh.

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    May 11, 2008 3:06 PM GMT
    I was 25 and he was 22. We met in the computer room of the Math building at Queen's University, Kingston, Canada. We only dated for a month. He was my first sexual experience.

    Sadly he passed away at 33 from Hodgkin's Disease. Before he died he set up one of the first "virtual cemeteries" on the Internet. If you google "Michael Kibbee" he will pop up. I very bright and unique human being.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 11, 2008 3:18 PM GMT
    Well it was when I had just turned 33 and met him through Yahoo personals....

    I wasn't out... I hadn't even decided how I wanted to live my life. He said he expected me to be married to a woman in 5 years with children.

    And he is the only bf I've every had. 9.5 years.


    icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 11, 2008 3:24 PM GMT
    I was 20, and working on a Disney Co-Op in FL. It was my Gay Test Drive before coming out at home, haha.

    I met him at a club in Downtown Disney. I wish I could say it was a great experience, but me being so naive to relationships and having next to ZERO self esteem... it wasn't.

    It wasn't horrible, I mean he wasn't abusive or anything. But he wound up cheating on me after 3 months (which I didn't know at the time was about par for a gay relationship).

    2 weeks later I found myself on a date with someone else, so that helped the self esteem a little bit. While that didn't pan out, and during my whole 6 month experience down there, I did meet my first love. And that's an experience (though it hadn't worked out the way I wanted obviously) that I wouldn't trade for anything.
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    May 11, 2008 4:41 PM GMT

    I was 20...he was 18...I was his Resident Assistant at college...we were both out...

    - David
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    May 11, 2008 4:56 PM GMT
    I'm 21 and am with my first bf currently. Its long distance (something i said i'd never do) however, we do seem to manage pretty well as i see him often.

    He's 23, and lives 2 hours away, and i just got a speeding ticket the other day going up to see him, haha. We've been seeing each other since new years icon_smile.gif
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    May 11, 2008 5:04 PM GMT
    I was 26. He was 29. I was just coming out, he was not, and that, among other things, caused some friction. He's the reason I swore I'd never date another man older than me again.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    May 11, 2008 5:06 PM GMT
    I was 16 he was 19, we met at a bar. I was out, he wasn't.
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    May 11, 2008 5:20 PM GMT
    ShawnTO saidI was 16 he was 19, we met at a bar. I was out, he wasn't.


    Okay, I gotta ask how did you get into a bar at 16?

    I am going to Thunder Bay this week for work, your statement shines a whole new light on the city.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    May 11, 2008 5:24 PM GMT
    Thunder Bay - population 100 000, redneck, in the middle of nowhere. You can't be surprised about a minor getting into a bar. I started going to a particular bar when I was 15, it was our usual Friday night thing.
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    May 11, 2008 5:28 PM GMT
    I don't know if I would call him my boyfriend, but I was messing around with the older brother of a friend of mine for a lot of my senior year in high school. We managed to keep it secret the whole time, which was a miracle! He was on the college football team, about 6 foot 4, hunky and hairy chested and he taught me A LOT. Especially how to give a good blow job and take a very large cock in my ass! :>)
    He ended up getting married a few years later, what a shame. :>(
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    May 11, 2008 5:36 PM GMT
    I was 18 and in a new city to go to college and I met this handsome blond longhair who was big downstairs and we had a mini-affair that included a lot of weed. All the time, I knew he had a lover and the lover knew about me and I figured that was just the way things were in the gay world (I had just come out, more or less).

    (sigh) Memories. . .
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    May 11, 2008 5:38 PM GMT
    ShawnTO saidThunder Bay - population 100 000, redneck, in the middle of nowhere. You can't be surprised about a minor getting into a bar. I started going to a particular bar when I was 15, it was our usual Friday night thing.


    Thunder Bay is redneck? Oh no I better watch myself! icon_wink.gif

    Yeah, I guess what you said makes sense. But you are pretty young looking as it is (not much facial hair) the doorman really must have turned a blind eye when you were 15. I might have been able to get by because I had to shave nearly every day at 15.
  • klinci3

    Posts: 60

    May 11, 2008 5:50 PM GMT
    I was 16 he was 18 we were both out...we met through friends


  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    May 11, 2008 5:53 PM GMT
    Even now I only need to shave once every 3 days. icon_razz.gif

    Yes, Thunder Bay is redneck, but very liberal, not conservative at all. Besides the 'cool' guys with their name calling in highschool, being out in Thunder Bay never posed a problem or potential dangerous situation. It actually isn't a bad place at all, just too small and isolated for my tastes. But I'm soooo glad I grew up there.
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    May 11, 2008 5:55 PM GMT
    I was 26. He was...25. We were both closeted, me less so than him. I had a few people who knew. Only his previous bf knew. We dated about a month...until he told me he loved me. I flipped out - after a month?!?!? - and dumped him.

    But he used to cook for me all the time - some odd stuff I didn't like, but most of it was delicious. He was cute, a Swiss Italian Costa Rican ad exec for P&G. I think he lives in Costa Rica now. Or maybe Texas. I dunno.

    Funny when you think about how people come into and go from your life.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Sep 15, 2009 11:40 AM GMT

    I was 19 and he was 24. We met in the fall semester of my freshman year, but became an item after a period of several months. I was actually dating a girl at the time and I refused to be an embarrassment to both myself and to her, so, she and I broke up. He and I would lay together, watching movies and what-not, but never did anything for a long while. We would just chat together about a lot of things we liked and disliked ... I would even stay for summer school just to get the chance to hang out with him even more.

    I thought he was one of the most beautiful guys - and still do - that I've ever met. I was not afraid to tell what was on my mind, but he would always turn his face into disbelief when he would ask me for my opinion on something ailing his thoughts, and my young, immature self would suddenly become stoic, sullen, and articulate enough to make the logical pathway clear enough for him to see that it was there all along (he still calls every now and then for advice).

    He and I may have broken up - yes, we eventually had sex because I thought I was in love - but we remain very good friends to this day. I find that he is surprised at my growth as a person and the sweetest thing is that he genuinely wishes me well as I do him.
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    Sep 15, 2009 12:24 PM GMT
    I never had boyfriends when I first started seeing guys. I first started seeing guys when I was 17. Only all I really wanted was sex, though i didn't know it at the time, and I'd meet up with guys who claimed they were looking for something special who only wanted sex too. So it was fine I guess. We both used each other.

    Then I started developing very personal fuck buds. A lot of them from out of no where didn't want to be fuck buds any more. They'd want to change the title to cute things like "fake boyfriends" or "pretend dating" or to "friends"
    Sometimes they'd spend a whole week with me and not even want to have sex but cuddle. There were quite a few guys that unofficially dated for a little over half a year.

    but in the end they were never boyfriends. It was very important to me that I never gave the title to anyone who I couldn't see myself settling down with. So I guess my first official boyfriend is the one I'm with now.

    I met him when I was 19. He's 5 months older than me. I was out to my standards lol meaning my immediate fam and all my friends knew. He had been out about his bisexuality since high school. I think our outness made for a very strong bond in a sense of we were both very quickly intertwined with each other's family.

    Having been together for 2 years now, i have very quickly learned that no one is perfect and even if you click a lot, relationships take work.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2009 12:28 PM GMT
    I was 30 he was 36.... I was working my way out.
    Thanks to Match.com...
    we're still the very best of friends.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 15, 2009 2:01 PM GMT
    I was 19 he was 35. He have just broke up with his live in lover when he meet me. We are so different in so many way, race, religion, age , interst, nationality but we are compatible as friend and of course sexually.

    However, he and his ex got back together. But he remain my bf for the next 7 years, even after I meet my other live in lover latter on. This guy will always be in memory as one of the greatest love of my life.
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    Sep 15, 2009 2:14 PM GMT
    I was 17 and he was 28. I know that sounds extremely wrong, but he was my best friends cousin and i had known him since I was 8. I saw him walking around campus at the university that we both attended while I was there for a campus tour. Being a Marine, he had been overseas for a few years and I barely recognized him when I saw him. We dated for 2.5 years before he landed a job in Cali, which he was going to turn down to stay in Michigan with me, which I had to break it to him that I wasn't going to stand in the way of an opportunity such as that. We're really good friends now, he's kinda like the mature older brother I never really had.