Looking for Gay Mormons

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2011 9:37 PM GMT
    Today I came out to my bishop. I was dating a guy for three years and since I'm a return missionary, I get to wait for the call from the stake president. So now I get to wait to hear about the fate on my membership.

    My friends that are not members have told me to just not care. Take the stance on "if they don't want me, then F*** them." I cannot bring myself to do that though.

    I am worried for the outcome. For those that have been in this position, I would love to hear from you. How did you handle everything? What did the bishops and stake presidents say to you? Were you ex-communicated? I have already been visiting the Affirmation website and listened to some other audio things...is there something in particular that helped you?

    I hate the feeling that I am going through this alone. I know I'm not the first person to go through it, nor will I be the last.
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    Sep 05, 2011 6:10 PM GMT
    You're going to have to figure out a way to say "fuck them" because Mormons are one of the most anti-gay of all the religions...hell they even funded Prop 8. There is no way to convince them you're a real person once you come out. They might "pretend" to be nice, but behind your back they'll talk about you like you're the biggest disgrace to ever enter the doors of a church.

    /brutalhonesty
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    Sep 24, 2011 8:21 PM GMT
    Tough stuff. I've been out for a while, but haven't ever directly approached the church about it. Easier to become inactive than be thrown out I guess. I think there is really a lack of consistency or training on this point in the church, and so it really comes down to how sensitive your bishop and stake president are. I think across the board though, everyone agrees now to focus on the sexual activites and not "being gay." I don't know, dude, it's a hard position they put us in. Nobody but other Mormons would ever get the trauma of being ripped away from the church, I think. Good luck, I hope you find some closure.
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    Sep 25, 2011 4:26 AM GMT
    crazyboy963

    Come to Utah, we have a lot of gay Mormons here. Lots n lots.

    I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with the church making you choose. I am not Mormon but I have met some gay Mormons after moving here. Some of them are 'out' and some of them aren't.

    What I can tell you is that even if you end up getting ex-communicated that there are gay LDS groups you can join with people who are facing the same dilemma you are facing; they want to keep their faith and remain Mormon while also being openly gay.

    It may not mean very much to hear this from an outsider but I think it's great that you are striving for an honest existence. God made you the way you are and you shouldn't feel guilty or alone.
    Don't let the bitter and ignorant ones tell you that your sexual orientation and faith cannot live in harmony because there are those who have been able to make it work and live happily.

    I hope all works out for you man. icon_smile.gif

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    Sep 26, 2011 10:07 PM GMT
    oozyrat said Nobody but other Mormons would ever get the trauma of being ripped away from the church, I think. .


    Hmmm, I would say the Amish have it pretty bad too... they are ousted from their communities and families once they are ex-communicated... its quite horrible... and muslims may face similar consequences ... even honour killings....
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    Oct 04, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    You're not alone. I have lots of gay Mormon friends, and no matter how all this turns out, there's a part of you that never really leaves the church.

    The one thing I can suggest is this: Don't go to Evergreen or one of the LDS counseling services unless you are absolutely certain that they are not going to try to change you. You are what you are, and there's no point in trying to be something you are not.

    You'll probably get lots of pressure to think through things. If you insist, you'll probably be ex-ed. No one can tell you how to handle that, except to be true to yourself.

    Hang tough buddy. I know this isn't easy for you.
  • metta

    Posts: 39107

    Oct 05, 2011 6:43 PM GMT
    Study to be carried out on gay Mormons

    http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2011/08/02/study-to-be-carried-out-on-gay-mormons/

    USU study looks at experiences of gay Mormons
    http://www.sltrib.com/csp/cms/sites/sltrib/pages/printerfriendly.csp?id=52299211

    It looks like the survey has been taken down.
    The survey is online at http://psychmeasures.org/index.php?sid=64625〈=en

    Affirmation: http://www.affirmation.org/

    Excommunicated From His Church, Gay Mormon Commits Suicide
    http://www.affirmation.org/news/2011_118.shtml