Not sure about being gay....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 6:50 AM GMT
    So I think I am gay but the issue is that i don't think I am. I have friends say I'm straight and gay both joking and serious. I don't know what to think anymore... I believe the reason why I'm also unsure is because i grew up in a religious household where i was raised to believe being gay is bad... so i don't know if i am gay or i am just letting my teachings from when i was a kid get the best of me... I have had sexual intercourse with a guy and woman the woman it didn't feel right but with the guy afterwards i felt bad idk what is wrong wit me =/
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    Sep 05, 2011 9:44 AM GMT
    thanks well i can honestly say having sex with a guy is much more satisfying icon_biggrin.gif
    and you seem so wise!!!! which is amazing icon_biggrin.gif thanks for your insight my friend icon_smile.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 05, 2011 10:17 AM GMT
    You seem to be hung up on the word

    You like guys?
    Then leave it at that
    don't box yourself in right now .... leave the labels at the door and see how everything settles in
    Give yourself some time to try some different relationships
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    Sep 05, 2011 2:34 PM GMT
    GQjock saidYou seem to be hung up on the word

    You like guys?
    Then leave it at that
    don't box yourself in right now .... leave the labels at the door and see how everything settles in
    Give yourself some time to try some different relationships


    Amen.
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    Sep 05, 2011 2:47 PM GMT
    You know, when I was coming to terms of my sexuality and dating men I felt bad too after I had sex with them too, but only because I felt that society/ religion conditions us to believe that it's wrong.

    After a while of thinking, reading... I had no problem with it. I felt better and more comfortable. There is a great book out there called "The best little boy" Its a story about a young man and family up bringing. I highly recommend it.

    Hope this gives some insight.

    Brendan.
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    Sep 05, 2011 2:52 PM GMT
    its a case of guilt thats is preventing you from finding yourself.

    i feel bad after gay sex too.

    but im catholic
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    Sep 05, 2011 2:55 PM GMT
    siggyziggy said... I believe the reason why I'm also unsure is because i grew up in a religious household where i was raised to believe being gay is bad...
    You were badly LIED to..
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    Sep 05, 2011 3:07 PM GMT
    Kalifornication saidYou know, when I was coming to terms of my sexuality and dating men I felt bad too after I had sex with them too, but only because I felt that society/ religion conditions us to believe that it's wrong.

    After a while of thinking, reading... I had no problem with it. I felt better and more comfortable. There is a great book out there called "The best little boy" Its a story about a young man and family up bringing. I highly recommend it.

    Hope this gives some insight.

    Brendan.


    The book is "The Best Little Boy in the World" which was written under a pseudonym by the economist and philanthropist, Andrew Tobias and 25 years later put out a sequel (and came out) and that book is called "The Best Little Boy in the World Grows Up" Both are great books.
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    Sep 05, 2011 3:25 PM GMT
    siggyziggy saidSo I think I am gay but the issue is that i don't think I am. I have friends say I'm straight and gay both joking and serious. I don't know what to think anymore... I believe the reason why I'm also unsure is because i grew up in a religious household where i was raised to believe being gay is bad... so i don't know if i am gay or i am just letting my teachings from when i was a kid get the best of me... I have had sexual intercourse with a guy and woman the woman it didn't feel right but with the guy afterwards i felt bad idk what is wrong wit me =/


    Do you like cock?

    I mean if you say yes then you have your answer...icon_wink.gif
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Sep 05, 2011 3:36 PM GMT
    siggyziggy saidSo I think I am gay but the issue is that i don't think I am. I have friends say I'm straight and gay both joking and serious. I don't know what to think anymore... I believe the reason why I'm also unsure is because i grew up in a religious household where i was raised to believe being gay is bad... so i don't know if i am gay or i am just letting my teachings from when i was a kid get the best of me... I have had sexual intercourse with a guy and woman the woman it didn't feel right but with the guy afterwards i felt bad idk what is wrong wit me =/


    welcome, you're most likely gay, and tought (past tense of "teach"... I've always had problems spelling this one) to be self loathing about it, it'll take a while, but you'll get over that (about 1~3 years if you work at it)
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    Sep 05, 2011 3:46 PM GMT
    Welcome.

    You like guys....welcome.

    You are religious....welcome

    Are you the only one? ... nope

    My partner and I both are raised Baptist, attend church, and believe in God.

    Now, time for you to keep searching through yourself and find out what is going on inside of you. Trust me it's not as hard as you think after you peel away the first few layers and begin asking yourself, what makes me tick? Is it really you inside of there or is it a world of other's teaching you what to think and believe?

    Good luck and welcome to the journey called life.

    Mike
  • CoreyA1

    Posts: 23

    Sep 05, 2011 3:55 PM GMT
    icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 05, 2011 6:40 PM GMT
    mayBbignow2 said
    CoreyA1 saidicon_lol.gif


    why is this funny?
    That is what i don't get either
  • MrNomis

    Posts: 268

    Sep 05, 2011 6:48 PM GMT
    siggyziggy saidSo I think I am gay but the issue is that i don't think I am. I have friends say I'm straight and gay both joking and serious. I don't know what to think anymore... I believe the reason why I'm also unsure is because i grew up in a religious household where i was raised to believe being gay is bad... so i don't know if i am gay or i am just letting my teachings from when i was a kid get the best of me... I have had sexual intercourse with a guy and woman the woman it didn't feel right but with the guy afterwards i felt bad idk what is wrong wit me =/

    if you have not had much experience with being open and just honest to yourself or anyone due to family and the way they see things i.e religion, norms, customs, etc we tend to just surpress ourselves and feel guilt. ... I am a gay man because its what society identifies or labels me...I was married and have two children as a result.. i know i am gay because i have been with men more than women and i love the experience.. bottom line is you have to just take your time and know that it will all work out.. don't label yourself because by doing so you are just setting yourself up for failure and confusion....
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Sep 05, 2011 7:05 PM GMT
    Just give it time and you'll figure it out. We all went through that at varying ages. It took a few years after I realized I was attracted to guys that I was at peace with identifying myself as gay. Everyone does it at their own pace. If cuddling with a cute guy makes your head swoon then that's a pretty good sign. I always use what I call the "cuddle test" to tell if I like a guy or not. If the cuddling makes my heart go pitter patter then I pursue him. icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 05, 2011 7:16 PM GMT
    Back when I was younger and going through a lot of crap in my life, my mother took me to a therapist to sort out everything. The therapist was a crock, but one thing that he said that was actually really helpful is "you are what you masturbate to..." Since then, it's been easier and easier to figure it out.

    Hope this helps.
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    Sep 05, 2011 7:25 PM GMT
    lilmonsterxx said

    Do you like cock?

    I mean if you say yes then you have your answer...icon_wink.gif


    I did not start feeling attracted to guys until my mid 20s and back then I sure as hell did NOT like cock!

    OP, try to avoid little definition traps. Have some adventure. See what emerges. Define yourself.
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    Sep 06, 2011 3:49 AM GMT
    thanks for your input guys really appreciate it icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 06, 2011 3:56 AM GMT
    What made the most difference in my life was joining a gay group..
    We met once a week and having that kind of support, finally knowing I was not the only one, being completely free to be myself and to cruise guys openly and not worry who is watching..but actually laugh and enjoy it....

    It took a lot of work back then, but today there are plenty of goups