Need some advice.

  • Greygull

    Posts: 282

    Sep 05, 2011 7:36 AM GMT
    So my Boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years.

    Me; 23, have a job and a degree and my own place. had a car but it died, moneys a bit tight right now for me, due to being underemployed and not able to find a second job, it's been this way for about 3-4mo

    Him: 21, Lives at home, is bisexual and so wont claim me in a public setting. Makes significantly more money than i do and has been helping me out bvy paying when we go out.


    So, we got together after 3 monthsish of a FWB relationship. We were both honest about our relationship history and he told me that eh had this girl he still had a thing for and they called it off but she lives in Dallas ( around four hours away) So we agreed to a monogamous relationship. fast forward 6 months and he starts getting texts and getting in touch with this girl again, he's honest about it and i tell him it's fine as long as they done escalate the friendship. in about January I find out on facebook that she considers him her boyfriend and that they had been running around on me thru a long distance relationship behind my back for a month or so, I corner him, he confesses and says he's confused about what he wants and i told him that him pulling this shit was cheating on me and it tore me up. he agreed to stop talking to her. Fast forward again to this last week. we were at dinner his phone rang and it was that bitch, and i saw it. he's been going to dallas alot recently for work. should I let it be or bring it up again? I've been really trying to get him to come out and get his own place because right now im having to hide our relationship and it's killing me. I figure after two years i deserve to be claimed and tolive with my boyfriend instead of struggling to meet my obligations.


    So, my lease is up and i can just move and leave him behind and make a new life somewhere where i can get a job that pays better. so my conundrum is So I stay or do I go?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 05, 2011 7:52 AM GMT
    Go!

    Focusing on one this, he claims he's bi and wont "claim you in a public setting" by that I assume he doesn't acknowledge there is a relationship outside of the house.

    I spent almost ten years with a guy who was in the closet, It did damage I didn't know about until the relationship was over. On that basis alone I'd tell you to leave.

    But he's also freakin cheating on you man, he's seeing some other person behind your back (well, has, could very well be again) you gotta get outta that fucked up situation!

    You deserve better, you deserve a relationship that meets the parameters agreed upon by both people in the relationship. Not some arsehole who thinks it's okay to go and do that crap while your at home wondering what your guy is doing!

    So, my advice.

    Leave his dumb arse and call the girl let her know her "man" is a cheater and if she knows, shame on her!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 05, 2011 7:59 AM GMT
    It's all up to you of course but I were you, I would have left the second I found out he was even talking romantically with someone else no matter their gender. And personally, I don't deal with that "I don't know what I want" crap. That's too much drama, and your case epitomizes that.

    Please, don't let this guy have this kind of financial power over you. You don't need him! He obviously doesn't feel the same as you do. If you want a fresh start with opportunities to meet someone who can reciprocate your feelings with as much intensity as you give out, start anew.

    Don't get stuck in this dead-end situation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 05, 2011 8:56 AM GMT
    Well, I think you should make sure you know whats going on before you make the decision to leave. You have the work trips to Dallas and her calling... see what's going on?

    Why do you think if he continues this relationship that he also wants to stay with you?

  • Sep 05, 2011 1:26 PM GMT
    I would never let somone treat me like that. I'd rather be alone than in a relationship just for the sake of being in one. Being single is great!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 05, 2011 1:32 PM GMT
    Greygull saidSo my Boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years.
    Him: 21, Lives at home, is bisexual and so wont claim me in a public setting.
    he's confused about what he wants
    im having to hide our relationship and it's killing me.
    I figure after two years i deserve to be claimed and tolive with my boyfriend
    do I stay or do I go?

    The question answers itself.
    Why would you want to stay with someone who won't acknowledge you and isn't even sure he wants to be with you?
    Go.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 05, 2011 1:40 PM GMT
    Go! You can do better.
  • citypartyboy

    Posts: 187

    Sep 05, 2011 1:41 PM GMT
    if you have to question it, that is probably your answer unfortunately.. icon_sad.gif



    good luck buddy with whatever you decide
  • Greygull

    Posts: 282

    Sep 05, 2011 3:59 PM GMT
    Thats what I've been thinking guys, but sometimes, im pretty insecure when i comes to long term relationships. fuck him lol