I GET IT! I'M A SHIT PERSON! But I don't wanna change! Please help?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 5:45 PM GMT
    Okay, now I know I'm a troll on this website. I don't know why I do it, I just do.
    But separate that for a moment. I'm sick of being told I'm a shit person, and I really don't see it! In fact I never use to be like this at all... So I guess I see it a little. But a few years ago I said I wanted a new personality... So I gave myself one. I called it Regina George icon_smile.gif It was fun, and it lasted. However... I was always straight forward. If I hate you, I tell you. To your face. I'm not going to hide behind walls. And I consider myself a very loyal friend, I go out of my way for my friends and do my best to make them feel the warmth of my presence. Now, my best friend I use to have... we are no longer in contact. After I found out she was friends with the group of people who tried to separate me and my partner, and she was making rumors up about me using girls who don't aren't in relationships so I wouldn't have to compete for friendship with their partners and told everyone I was gay. From that day on, I've been civil. And bitch about her behind her back. And have no respect for her and no contact. However, she was in the wrong. And it's really annoying when my partner becomes best friends with her and all the people who tried to split us up again. They're like children in primary school. One day it's I hate you! the next it's all forgotten?

    FUCKING CHILDISH!

    Now i face a new dilema, that being all my friends who r still in school had a fight with this girl at work who was an outright cow to them and they reported her and it was this MASSIVE thing! But then like a day later they're buying presents for each other and it's all okay!?!?! Not only that but one of my best friends who I've been trying to keep in my life no longer wants anything to do with me. Why?

    Because she deleted me off Facebook without telling me I was annoying her... then demanded I add her again. I said no, but chose to still be friends through phone contact, however whenever i tried to contact her she'd say she was busy, then she said she had a new best friend as a joke. But I asked her out for dinner... And she blew me off for him hoping I wouldn't find out. I tried once more to get in contact. For her to be hostile and rude over the phone. And i accidentally made a joke comparing her to cancer (My Dad died of cancer) and now I believe she's overreacting because I when out of my way to apologize severely...

    So now what? Yes. I'm a bitch. Yes. I don't like alot of people. But should i just be fake about it? They hate me. They bitch about me. Why sugar coat it so we're all best friends? I'm just honest, and saying what everyone is thinking. And I'm not racist or discriminative at all. Yeah I pick on fat people and people who can't dress good but to me it's all superficial. I'm sick of being told I'm a shit person. Why are they so good? They're fake and immature little shits who just forgive major shit that went down yesterday. And I don't bitch about my friends, I'm %100 loyal. Yet I find them bitching about me and it's okay? Am I in the wrong? Or am I just SEEING it wrong? Help me out? How do I fix this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 6:12 PM GMT

    Kristoff, a little reflection about what you say before you say it goes a long way. One such is, "who will I hurt by saying this?" and another is, "If someone said this to me would I feel hurt?"

    icon_wink.gif
  • hawkeye7

    Posts: 565

    Sep 05, 2011 6:29 PM GMT
    meninlove is right
    Sometimes the best thing you can do is shut up and walk away. Be the better man.
    Being honest is only good when it is constructive, otherwise it is nutrual or probably hurtful the way you seem to use it.

    You have got some anger and you need to let it go. You might even need to speek to a profesional.

    I also think that facebook is beginning to harm our social fabric.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 6:30 PM GMT
    Kristoff saidThey're like children in primary school.
    Your problem lies in this quoted sentence. Go look at yourself in the mirror.
  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Sep 05, 2011 6:41 PM GMT
    You need professional psychological help.
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    Sep 05, 2011 6:49 PM GMT
    I do not have one of those daft captioned pictures to offer you, but you are certainly asking for one.

    You cannot 're-invent' your personality, as though it were a brand of washing powder. You can, however, take a good look at yourself, lose the 'pity me' attitude and be a better friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 6:51 PM GMT
    I like my personality... I just don't get why others don't. I'm being real and honest. Their the ones who are fake.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 6:57 PM GMT
    And yeah I'm a complete bitch, but who isn't?
  • Diceroll

    Posts: 224

    Sep 05, 2011 7:05 PM GMT
    Kristoff saidI like my personality... I just don't get why others don't. I'm being real and honest. Their the ones who are fake.



    It doesn't matter how real and honest you are, if the stuff you've written in your OP is true (you're a bitch, you like to pick on people because of their size & dress sense etc) it's little wonder people don't like your personality. If you genuinely don't want to change this I'm not sure if anyone on this site will be able to help you much, TBH.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 7:46 PM GMT
    No offense but you seem like a self-loathing prick. Get over yourself, not everyone's a bitch, but you sir are. Amazing, kind, generous, empathetic, genuine people don't have to try to act a certain way to get friends because there positive attitude attracts other towards them. Its really not that hard to make and keep friends, and have people like you. I wouldn't be calling other people childish either, it only makes you look immature. Also the fact that you're ranting about how horrible you are, and trying to seek attention for help shows you're own desperate insecurities. Do a solid and try to be nicer to people and see things from their perspective. You don't have to like them or their values, but a little respect goes a long way.
  • ursa_minor

    Posts: 566

    Sep 05, 2011 7:46 PM GMT
    Kristoff saidI like my personality... I just don't get why others don't. I'm being real and honest. Their the ones who are fake.


    if they┬┤re the ones who are fake, then ask yourself why they left your side

    sure, being honest and real has its merits, but so does tact

    people nowadays think that being a bitch is something to be proud of (i blame it on media - SATC, etc). something that gives you celebrity status (just like Perez Hilton, hehe). but something that deserves a sucker punch.

    talk it out with your ex-friends ... perhaps that's a way to start fixing it

    to be real and honest, you probably have ADHD. go seek professional help.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Sep 05, 2011 7:52 PM GMT
    You should find and read an old book titled "How to win friends and influence people." You need to learn to be a genuine person, and turn the honesty into diplomacy, if you're going to get along with other people in life and especially in the workplace if you're going to have a successful career.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 7:54 PM GMT
    mayBbignow2 said
    hawkeye7 said

    I also think that facebook is beginning to harm our social fabric.


    +2
    +3
    I still don't have a FB account, and refuse to get one.
    Instead, I'm going to visit friends this evening...in real life. icon_surprised.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 7:55 PM GMT
    Kristoff saidI like my personality... I just don't get why others don't. I'm being real and honest. Their the ones who are fake.
    I agree with you
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:02 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    mayBbignow2 said
    hawkeye7 said

    I also think that facebook is beginning to harm our social fabric.


    +2
    +3
    I still don't have a FB account, and refuse to get one.
    Instead, I'm going to visit friends this evening...in real life. icon_surprised.gif

    +4
    Thankfully, FB has already peaked and appears to be on the wane, but it will take a few years before it goes under. Unfortunately, there will probably be something similar to take its place.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:04 PM GMT
    Kristoff saidI like my personality... I just don't get why others don't. I'm being real and honest. Their the ones who are fake.


    It's great that you like yourself - especially since nobody else does. Or most likely ever will.

    So stop trolling, turn out the lights and sit by yourself. You won't be missed. Think of the hours of fun-filled joy you will have!!! And you won't have to worry about fixing any of your many deformities - physical, mental or emotional - because, really, who cares?

    Ain't "realness" great? Gotta love that honesty!
  • sonnet129

    Posts: 116

    Sep 05, 2011 8:11 PM GMT
    Don't listen to anyone here. Just go into stand-up comedy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:14 PM GMT
    Your problem is not that you are a bitch. You're problem is that you are an unresolved bith...and that doesn't work. You cant a bitch in one thread and then turn around and make a thread about all the things you don't like about yourself begging for help. Bitches don't ask for help, bitches don't need advice, bitches don't need approval. If you are unsure of yourself in any way, being a bitch is not for you.

    You're problem is that you haven't built up the social credits to be considered a decent person, but you also are not tough enough to be considered the bitch you think you are. people love nice people.....and contrary to popular belief people love bitches too. But being a bitch is hard work, and it takes a lot of skill and sacrifice which is why some people suceed and others fail at it.

    If you want respect, you have to be a fully resolved bitch (think naomi campbell)

    As an unresolved bitch you get nothing (think rosie o'donnell)
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:15 PM GMT
    Kristoff said From that day on, I've been civil. And bitch about her behind her back. And have no respect for her and no contact. However, she was in the wrong.

    They're fake and immature little shits who just forgive major shit that went down yesterday. And I don't bitch about my friends, I'm %100 loyal. Yet I find them bitching about me and it's okay? Am I in the wrong? Or am I just SEEING it wrong? Help me out? How do I fix this?


    Sooo so much contradiction going on icon_eek.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Sep 05, 2011 8:17 PM GMT
    Kristoff saidI like my personality... I just don't get why others don't. I'm being real and honest. Their the ones who are fake.



    I'm being real honest -- YOU are the problem. Until you want to look within and change the things about yourself that are obviously causing you problems not only on this site, but in your life, you may find yourself feeling very alone. You might start by reading your own profile here on RJ. Doesn't sound like a guy I would want to be friends with. Selfish, jealous, mean-spirited, judgmental, vindictive --- all things you freely admit to being in your profile -- are NOT desirable traits that anyone really seeks in friends or relationships. The writing is on the wall, perhaps it's time you give it a good read and make some changes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:19 PM GMT
    One part of being happy is learning to accept one's self for what one is. I speak from experience. That does not mean that if you accept yourself as "a shit person" you can or should get in fights with people or talk behind their back or call them names, etc. Perhaps you can accept yourself as a sometimes difficult person and handle that by avoiding confrontation with those who have got on your bad side, or even perhaps hurt you. That's not being a" fake person," that is making the world an easier place for you to live in. Break-ups with friends, blowups, carying on feuds and so on only put more stress on you and those you love.
    Best of luck
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:19 PM GMT
    Kristoff saidAnd I don't bitch about my friends, I'm %100 loyal. Yet I find them bitching about me and it's okay? Am I in the wrong? Or am I just SEEING it wrong?


    Kristoff saidFrom that day on, I've been civil. And bitch about her behind her back.


    There's also a bunch of discrepancies in your online personae which may or may not be the same in your real world interactions.

    Kristoff saidThey're fake and immature little shits who just forgive major shit that went down yesterday.


    Being able to forgive is actually a trait of maturity. Holding onto grudges will just make you seem spiteful and malicious to others.
  • hawkeye7

    Posts: 565

    Sep 05, 2011 8:22 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    mayBbignow2 said
    hawkeye7 said

    I also think that facebook is beginning to harm our social fabric.


    +2
    +3
    I still don't have a FB account, and refuse to get one.
    Instead, I'm going to visit friends this evening...in real life. icon_surprised.gif

    It is really nice to hear others feel like I do I just don't care for face book
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:53 PM GMT
    with age comes the ability to rise above the petty BS that seems rampant in this thread.

    Who has the time or energy to put up with crap like this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:56 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Mil8 said
    paulflexes said
    mayBbignow2 said
    hawkeye7 said

    I also think that facebook is beginning to harm our social fabric.


    +2
    +3
    I still don't have a FB account, and refuse to get one.
    Instead, I'm going to visit friends this evening...in real life. icon_surprised.gif

    +4
    Thankfully, FB has already peaked and appears to be on the wane, but it will take a few years before it goes under. Unfortunately, there will probably be something similar to take its place.
    The only reason I use Facebook is to keep my A Cappella group organized. I've wanted to delete it multiple times.

    Edit:
    Also, here's a great song for your situation.



    What bothers me is the lack of privacy that I can't post on someone's else wall without that being broadcasted to everyone on my "friends" list.