When Gay Tempers Flare. Ever Had This Happen?

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    Sep 05, 2011 7:37 PM GMT
    So I'm already pissed. The gay couple with whom we were supposed to ride to the Home Show in Miami Beach today tells us they want to have lunch first when they pick us up. OK, we're flexible.

    So we sit down to lunch, and they announce they're "wasted" and don't want to drive to Miami Beach after all, spoiling our plans. I'm furious. But I was raised to rarely show emotion, always the gentleman. My partner likewise takes the news with good grace. We actually had a lovely lunch with them. Why ruin a nice meal?

    Then we return to our condo complex, me still fuming, and we're sitting outside with a rather difficult resident, talking condo business (which I hate). And I make a reply to this guy, and my partner snaps at me: "No, you don't know what what you're talking about."

    That is possibly the worst thing you can say to me. I said nothing further, just calmly rose from my chair, left and went to our apartment. That's as close as I come to losing my temper and having a hissy fit.

    And I'm sitting at this computer, thinking about how I'm gonna even the score, plotting all kinds of nasty things in revenge. About 30 minutes later my partner comes in, and immediately kisses me on the head, and apologizes for snapping at me, hoping I forgive him, and still love him.

    All the malice & revenge drained from me in an instant. I kissed him, and assured him I love him more than anyone else on Earth. And I do.

    How silly we are, how stupid, how swift to anger and gay drama. Have you fallen victim to this? Gawd knows I do far too often.

    What is wrong with me? What is wrong with us? I see this all the time. Do you?
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    Sep 05, 2011 7:47 PM GMT
    Like 99% of things discussed here....its not a gay thing. Its a human being thing. Everyone thinks all of this shit is unique to gays. Its not. We are people. Like everyone else. And thats how people react sometimes. A straight person would be pissed if people cancelled on them at the last minute. You handled it like an adult.

    The idiot at your condo is like every idiot out there. They think they know everything. Thats probably why they discuss condo business. Who really does that unless you are on the board. Kudos for holding your tongue. I probably wouldnt have.

    Its not gay drama. Its human drama. Talk to any guy married to woman. Your snapshot of life is his everyday icon_razz.gif
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    Sep 05, 2011 7:59 PM GMT
    Every time I walk past a straight bar and see fist fights over who's looking at who's "bitch," I realize the term "gay drama" is an oxymoron.
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    Sep 05, 2011 7:59 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 saidLike 99% of things discussed here....its not a gay thing. Its a human being thing. Everyone thinks all of this shit is unique to gays. Its not. We are people. Like everyone else. And thats how people react sometimes. A straight person would be pissed if people cancelled on them at the last minute. You handled it like an adult.

    The idiot at your condo is like every idiot out there. They think they know everything. Thats probably why they discuss condo business. Who really does that unless you are on the board. Kudos for holding your tongue. I probably wouldnt have.

    Its not gay drama. Its human drama. Talk to any guy married to woman. Your snapshot of life is his everyday icon_razz.gif

    Thanks, a very comforting reply. I try very much to avoid gay drama, or any drama really. No personal drama was authorized during my military career, but since taking off my uniform and coming out gay I think I indulge myself a little. I certainly see it all around me.

    And I do have a temper. GAWD do I have a temper, always have. Whether it resides in my being gay or elsewhere I don't know. But I see it in other gays. And so I wondered if others here have a temper issue, and also are prone to gay drama.
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    Sep 05, 2011 7:59 PM GMT
    I did notice one thing last night. A girl or tranny (I couldnt tell) was plowing through the dance floor and from what I could tell she was doing on purpose to try get attention. She got to me and she rammed her purse on to back. So I kicked out my leg and tripped her. that might be gay drama. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Rawrdo

    Posts: 343

    Sep 05, 2011 8:00 PM GMT
    Oh boy I've had plenty of times in which my temper gets the hold of me, you aren't the only one. However, because I know of my quick hot-headed temper when I get into that angry-mode I try my best not to do or say anything that I'll regret later. Angry texting is just as bad as drunk testing, and it's effects could even be more devastating. Thus, I always write all of what I want to say and convey first, and then edit and re-edit until I have my point across but without it having any aggressive tone to it. It sure takes a lot of self control and will power, but I really think it helps in the long run from preventing petty arguments to escalate into huge fights. If you are one of those logical and rational people, then you could see it this way, shouting and getting angry will not win you a debate or an argument. For that, you have to keep your wits on and your head cool if you want to be taken seriously. Also, (I know this is kind of bad) but if you keep your cool when someone else unjustly snaps at you, the other person or party feels much more regret and guilty then if you snap right back in defense.
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:01 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    Dallasfan824 saidLike 99% of things discussed here....its not a gay thing. Its a human being thing. Everyone thinks all of this shit is unique to gays. Its not. We are people. Like everyone else. And thats how people react sometimes. A straight person would be pissed if people cancelled on them at the last minute. You handled it like an adult.

    The idiot at your condo is like every idiot out there. They think they know everything. Thats probably why they discuss condo business. Who really does that unless you are on the board. Kudos for holding your tongue. I probably wouldnt have.

    Its not gay drama. Its human drama. Talk to any guy married to woman. Your snapshot of life is his everyday icon_razz.gif

    Thanks, a very comforting reply. I try very much to avoid gay drama, or any drama really. No personal drama was authorized during my military career, but since taking off my uniform and coming out gay I think I indulge myself a little. I certainly see it all around me.

    And I do have a temper. GAWD do I have a temper, always have. Whether it resides in my being gay or elsewhere I don't know. But I see it in other gays. And so I wondered if others here have a temper issue, and also are prone to gay drama.


    I have already figured out you had one. I was surprised you controlled it so well. You came out the better person in both cases.

    I on the other hand......
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:01 PM GMT
    I'm very short-tempered obviously from forum posts but also in real life but i recall a time where this guy pushed me for no reason before i knew it he was on the ground bloody. I got it that bad
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:02 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said

    Then we return to our condo complex, me still fuming, and we're sitting outside with a rather difficult resident, talking condo business (which I hate). And I make a reply to this guy, and my partner snaps at me: "No, you don't know what what you're talking about."

    That is possibly the worst thing you can say to me. I said nothing further, just calmly rose from my chair, left and went to our apartment. That's as close as I come to losing my temper and having a hissy fit.

    And I'm sitting at this computer, thinking about how I'm gonna even the score, plotting all kinds of nasty things in revenge. About 30 minutes later my partner comes in, and immediately kisses me on the head, and apologizes for snapping at me, hoping I forgive him, and still love him.

    All the malice & revenge drained from me in an instant. I kissed him, and assured him I love him more than anyone else on Earth. And I do.

    How silly we are, how stupid, how swift to anger and gay drama. Have you fallen victim to this? Gawd knows I do far too often.

    What is wrong with me? What is wrong with us? I see this all the time. Do you?


    ---------------------------------------------------

    thank you art for telling us, in your own words, how vicious/malicious you really are and hopefully all will come to see what Ive always seen.--
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:08 PM GMT
    Can I ask a question that is not really related but...

    What is the difference between a condo and an apartment?
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:09 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 saidI did notice one thing last night. A girl or tranny (I couldnt tell) was plowing through the dance floor and from what I could tell she was doing on purpose to try get attention. She got to me and she rammed her purse on to back. So I kicked out my leg and tripped her. that might be gay drama. icon_biggrin.gif


    CatOMGFunny.gif">

    OMG! What did she do!? LOL!
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:13 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidCan I ask a question that is not really related but...

    What is the difference between a condo and an apartment?


    You rent an apt and own a condo. In most cases, the condo is maintained far better and also in some cases (like mine) they are built as condos so they have better windows, more sound proofing between units and better appliances.
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:16 PM GMT
    C_J35 said
    Dallasfan824 saidI did notice one thing last night. A girl or tranny (I couldnt tell) was plowing through the dance floor and from what I could tell she was doing on purpose to try get attention. She got to me and she rammed her purse on to back. So I kicked out my leg and tripped her. that might be gay drama. icon_biggrin.gif


    CatOMGFunny.gif">

    OMG! What did she do!? LOL!


    Fell face first on the floor. Trannys and girls often think they can be mean or rude without consequence. I have NO issue dealing with them. A few years ago at pride I had my fill of lesbians the last one that knocked in to me spilling part of my beer ended up wearing what was left in my cup.
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:21 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 said
    C_J35 said
    Dallasfan824 saidI did notice one thing last night. A girl or tranny (I couldnt tell) was plowing through the dance floor and from what I could tell she was doing on purpose to try get attention. She got to me and she rammed her purse on to back. So I kicked out my leg and tripped her. that might be gay drama.

    OMG! What did she do!? LOL!


    Fell face first on the floor. Trannys and girls often think they can be mean or rude without consequence. I have NO issue dealing with them. A few years ago at pride I had my fill of lesbians the last one that knocked in to me spilling part of my beer ended up wearing what was left in my cup.


    I hate when they do that, but I am pretty solid. So I usually just tense up when I see them coming, cause it's pretty funny to watch... They look like they just hit a brick wall. Then I yell at them.
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:22 PM GMT
    I Do Not Know What You Are Talking About
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:22 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidCan I ask a question that is not really related but...

    What is the difference between a condo and an apartment?

    A condo is like an apartment, in a community structure, but the units owned. But sometimes a condo is called an apartment anyway for convenience. In New York City an owned apartment is called a co-op. There are some slight local legal differences.

    My partner & I live in a condo, which is the term used here in Florida for an owned apartment. He's the Vice President of our condo association, and so gets involved in lots of issues & disputes with the owners.

    Since the majority of them are older and retired, and have nothing to do with their free time but bitch & complain, and cause trouble & disruptions, they are referred to locally as "Condo Commandos." They would be the crabby "Get off my lawn!" crowd, if they had their own lawns.
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:29 PM GMT
    C_J35 said
    . icon_biggrin.gif


    CatOMGFunny.gif">



    Cutest cat evah. icon_razz.gif
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:30 PM GMT
    Ah, I see, sort of. In the UK we have flats and apartments but there is not difference between them apart from apartments are supposed to be more expensive and swanky. You can rent or buy either a flat or an apartment. We don't have condominiums, there's no equivalent here.
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:32 PM GMT
    We ALL have moments ike that, my partner and I included! You got over it quickly s I would not worry about it at all. Living with someone and sharing your life with him means you both are occasionally going to take out bad moments on the other. It's not all that different from being mad at yourself, since your mate is a part of you. Getting past it and understanding that we all have little blowups is the important thing.

    I am an officer of our beach condo, one reason I would like to sell it. Everytime we are there I am likely to meet aonther resident with a complaint. That's OK, I took on the job and can deal with it. But it can be a pain in the neck too, in that the place becomes one big problem for me.

    One reason we have been reluctant to buy a condo in FLA is because of the condo commandos!
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:32 PM GMT
    Beaux said
    C_J35 said
    . icon_biggrin.gif


    CatOMGFunny.gif">



    Cutest cat evah. icon_razz.gif


    I know...right!? icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:33 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    Art_Deco saidSo I'm already pissed. The gay couple with whom we were supposed to ride to the Home Show in Miami Beach today tells us they want to have lunch first when they pick us up. OK, we're flexible.

    So we sit down to lunch, and they announce they're "wasted" and don't want to drive to Miami Beach after all, spoiling our plans. I'm furious.


    As you should be! Think of all those interior decorating tips you missed out on!!!


    Okay, so I laughed at a SB gag. May God strike me down!
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:33 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said...How silly we are, how stupid, how swift to anger and gay drama. Have you fallen victim to this? Gawd knows I do far too often.

    What is wrong with me? What is wrong with us? I see this all the time. Do you?

    No. I make the decision to stay in control of my emotions.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Sep 05, 2011 8:33 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said"No, you don't know what what you're talking about."

    That is possibly the worst thing you can say to me.
    I said nothing further, just calmly rose from my chair, left and went to our apartment. That's as close as I come to losing my temper and having a hissy fit.

    And I'm sitting at this computer, thinking about how I'm gonna even the score, plotting all kinds of nasty things in revenge.



    And here all this time you have been painting that partner of yours as so helpless, when really what he probably deserves is a medal. God forbid ANYONE, even your beloved partner, would say anything cross to you, because you'll be off plotting how to "even the score" with all kinds of "nasty things in revenge". Yes, it's all starting to make sense now.
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:40 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    redheadguy saidAh, I see, sort of. In the UK we have flats and apartments but there is not difference between them apart from apartments are supposed to be more expensive and swanky. You can rent or buy either a flat or an apartment. We don't have condominiums, there's no equivalent here.


    OK, the technical definition.

    Assume we have 2 apartments. One is in a "condo" building, the other is in a "co-op" (short for "cooperative") building.

    In the condo building, you own your apartment and, based on the square footage of your apartment compared to the square footage of the sum of all the other apartments in the building plus the square footage of the "common areas" of the building (i.e. the lobby, the roof terrace, etc.), you own a proportionate share of those "common areas."

    In the "co-op" building, the square footage of your apartment is compared to the total square footage of all the apartments plus common areas and your percentage entitles you to a certain number of "shares" in the building. So you don't actually own your apartment, rather you own shares in the co-op.


    Thanks. I rolled in at 6am and I just didnt have it me to type that out.
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    Sep 05, 2011 8:41 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ said
    Art_Deco said"No, you don't know what what you're talking about."

    That is possibly the worst thing you can say to me.
    I said nothing further, just calmly rose from my chair, left and went to our apartment. That's as close as I come to losing my temper and having a hissy fit.

    And I'm sitting at this computer, thinking about how I'm gonna even the score, plotting all kinds of nasty things in revenge.



    And here all this time you have been painting that partner of yours as so helpless, when really what he probably deserves is a medal. God forbid ANYONE, even your beloved partner, would say anything cross to you, because you'll be off plotting how to "even the score" with all kinds of "nasty things in revenge". Yes, it's all starting to make sense now.



    Well, Curious, you just publicly demonstrated you're just as bad. Have you ever spoken with either of them on the phone? Well, we have, including Doug's Mom.
    The three of you on this topic attacking Art as a person have a history of more than just thinking about something disagreeable to say - you go ahead and say it.

    Irony -table for three. icon_wink.gif

    -us

    We've seen Art lose his cool on RJ and make a sweeping generalization, about Muslims, about French, and each time he's not only apologized later in the thread but learned from what others had to say and acknowledged/explained what he learned.

    Top that.