Boyfriend drama - sorta - help

  • Scorpio1113

    Posts: 90

    Sep 06, 2011 8:49 PM GMT
    So recently I made a thread here how I am feel neglected by my boyfriend. So I sent him a message, telling him how I felt. Basically, I told him I wasn't mad at him but that we should make up the distance between us by chatting for at least a few minutes when we can. I told him I understood he is busy, though questioned whether he had time for a relationship.

    His response bothered me. According to him, I am not putting any effort into the relationship so he doesn't feel like trying until he sees improvement. He also doesn't like how I spend my money. This all bothered me, as money I spend is usually when I am with him. I pay for his meals, metro tickets, and etc etc.

    Now, I am a college student away from home. So I am not working full time. I have a very supportive family, to counter his non-supportive one, that helps with money. I didn't work this summer (unfortunately), but I did earn money. He was upset about that, though I explained to him how money still was not really an issue. I then asked if I had enough money to be with him, but he said that wasn't it..that it was hard putting love and money together. My response was that it doesn't take a wad of cash to really be with someone.

    So we went back to me calling him out on his lack of effort, where I was defending mine. I told him how I planned out all the routes for us to see each other - including the duration and costs. I told him I have, and will continue to, make sacrifices for him if he does the same for me.

    We've pretty much made up since, but his comments still frustrate me just a little. I feel insulted. I know money is an issue with him on the account of he is paying for school, working, his phone bill, and saving up for a car. I get the sense that he believes I don't appreciate money, or that I am spending it unwisely, but I don't see why he believes that is a concern? I still have enough money to see him and take care of the both of us when I can. Does it get tight sometimes? Yes....but I mean we are young so that's natural...

    Sorry for the length, guys.
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    Sep 06, 2011 8:58 PM GMT
    Sounds like he's not yet ready for prime time. You might consider tossing him back and trying again. Considering where you I've, no doubt there's another guy there who'll understand & value you a lot better than this one. Going through some losers before you find a keeper is the normal cost of business in the gay world.
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    Sep 06, 2011 10:06 PM GMT
    It may be that he feels you have it too easy...not having to work...having a very supportive family...while he has to work for everything he gets...and no family support...just an idea.
    If he ends up not being the ONE lol Learn from every action and reaction G/L
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    Sep 06, 2011 10:21 PM GMT
    You sound like a great guy. Keep doing what you're doing. Money is not everything--there are more important things, such as a loving, mutually fulfilling relationship. Good luck.
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    Sep 06, 2011 10:47 PM GMT
    So, he told you whats bothering him....

    Suck it up and deal with it.

    You want him, then do things that'll ease the tension!
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    Sep 07, 2011 12:07 AM GMT
    wow you sound awesome...and he sounds like a child.You're rare man and you deserve someone that appreciates you. I tell you if I had a guy who would bend over backwards for me. I would do the same and never let him go.