Advice on dating(masculine)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2011 6:23 AM GMT
    OK, so first off i'm new to this "being out" thing, I'm 21 and just recently told the people close to me and I was just wondering where exactly do I start. This may seem like an odd question but I honestly have no idea. I'm looking for a masculine man someone that I could hang out with, watch football, workout with and just chill. Almost like a best friend but with the relationship side. Anyways, I don't know where i'm supposed to look. The gay men that I know (not to be stereotypical) are just feminine and not for me, It's not what turns me on. I'm attracted to, hate to say it, straight men. Where can I find someone masculine? Do I go to a bar? Online dating? I'm just confused. Also for the masculine couples replying, where did y'all meet?
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Sep 07, 2011 12:35 PM GMT
    You will be ridiculed for this thread. Brace yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2011 12:46 PM GMT
    Many gay folks here suffer from what you are going through. For now I would just suggest getting use to the idea of being openly gay. That's a big step you took and you should be proud of being open to those close to you. Don't expect too much from opening up though. Just ease into it and enjoy it little by little.

    You're here on this site and it's not a bad place to start. You could also try searching the web for places that cater to your likes. Hitting the gay bars isn't such a good idea for what you are looking for as far as wanting a relationship but that's just my opinion. Get out there, get active and market yourself.

    I'm willing to bet there are quite a lot of folks like you all around you. You just haven't noticed them yet but they might have noticed you without knowing you are gay. You'll be fine and don't let people change what you like. Only you can do that.

    Best of luck. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2011 12:49 PM GMT
    As a guy who just came out myself i can totally understand where you are coming from. It feels almost impossible to find the guys you would like to date. All I can advice is you can't look too hard. just enjoy meeting new people online, at bars, make some friends and meet their friends. somewhere along the line you'll find the one you are looking for. Just don't be in the mindset that you need to date someone tomorrow. You should be perfectly happy being single before you can date someone with substance else you'll just find yourself settling for the first guy that comes along. Just my take on it.
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    Sep 07, 2011 12:59 PM GMT
    There's nothing wrong with your preference. It's your preference and you don't need to have everyone's approval on here. "Masculine" gay men tend to prefer other "masculine" gay men (and, indeed, even the more flamboyant gay men tend to like "masculine" gay men). Of course, the word "masculine" is subject to interpretation, and how you define "masculinity" as it pertains to your preference is purely personal. However, you cannot equate "straight" with "masculine" because, as we all know, some "straight" guys are more flamboyant (read: extra fem) looking than Liberace and Richard Simmons combined, and some gay guys are more "straight" looking than 99.99% of the hetero male population. Back to your question, if you're "masculine" based on your own definition, you will (hopefully) attract other "masculine" gay men. Stop pining over straight men--there are enough gay men with the qualities you're looking for.
  • studflyboy87

    Posts: 194

    Sep 07, 2011 1:19 PM GMT
    I know exactly how you feel. I met my first guy in January 2010. I had no gay friends, and no prior dating experience. I did not even know gay bars existed. Plus I feel it is really hard for someone to tell I am gay unless I tell them, so I knew no gay guy

    I have found the best place to meet guys who are masculine, almost "straight", is online. When I started off, that was the only place I could go to meet guys. There are a lot of curious guys, "Bi" guys, and guys who are into guys but not ready to come out.

    There is a lot of trash online that you have to filter through, but there are some great people there too if you are patient and look hard enough. I have met both my boyfriends online as well as some other great people, and I do not regret it one bit.

    P.S. If anyone ridicules you for stating your dating preference on an online forum, let me know. I will have a word with them.

    Good luck man icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2011 1:19 PM GMT
    So if anyone has a real answer for where to find like minded guys. I think half of realjock, myself included, would like to know. Lol.

    Better yet where to find a date that for a beyond a first date : (

    @ op: keep ur eyes open, as I am, and hopefully serendipity will b kind to us.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2011 1:19 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidThere's nothing wrong with your preference. It's your preference and you don't need to have everyone's approval on here. "Masculine" gay men tend to prefer other "masculine" gay men (and, indeed, even the more flamboyant gay men tend to like "masculine" gay men). Of course, the word "masculine" is subject to interpretation, and how you define "masculinity" as it pertains to your preference is purely personal. However, you cannot equate "straight" with "masculine" because, as we all know, some "straight" guys are more flamboyant (read: extra fem) looking than Liberace and Richard Simmons combined, and some gay guys are more "straight" looking than 99.99% of the hetero male population. Back to your question, if you're "masculine" based on your own definition, you will (hopefully) attract other "masculine" gay men. Stop pining over straight men--there are enough gay men with the qualities you're looking for.


    +1000000.
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    Sep 07, 2011 3:06 PM GMT
    Like a lot of things it's a matter of luck- being at the right place at the right time. That luck can be increased significantly by actually just getting out and doing things. You'll figure out what's working and not working for you. Guys are all around though clicks (good matches) are of course much rarer.
    Your picture-less and information-bare profile certainly has little chance of attracting the kind of guys I assume you'll want on RJ.
    Sift through the older RJ threads, read what other guys are doing. You'll eventually get lots of ideas. Good luck!
  • inuman

    Posts: 733

    Sep 07, 2011 3:21 PM GMT
    Ckfeezy saidOK, so first off i'm new to this "being out" thing, I'm 21 and just recently told the people close to me and I was just wondering where exactly do I start. This may seem like an odd question but I honestly have no idea. I'm looking for a masculine man someone that I could hang out with, watch football, workout with and just chill. Almost like a best friend but with the relationship side. Anyways, I don't know where i'm supposed to look. The gay men that I know (not to be stereotypical) are just feminine and not for me, It's not what turns me on. I'm attracted to, hate to say it, straight men. Where can I find someone masculine? Do I go to a bar? Online dating? I'm just confused. Also for the masculine couples replying, where did y'all meet?



    Don't know if this helps but maybe just maybe you'll find another dude like you at one of these venues in your town icon_cool.gif

    http://www.pensacolasports.com/PSA_Calendars_Red.cfm?month=9&year=2011
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2011 7:46 PM GMT
    Ckfeezy said Where can I find someone masculine? Do I go to a bar? Online dating? I'm just confused. Also for the masculine couples replying, where did y'all meet?


    This may sound crass, but I found all of my boyfriends at a hookup site... It takes a little weeding and sifting of course, but you can find good guys if you want them. I live in a small-ish town without a really sprawling gay culture so going out and meeting guys just randomly isn't a big option. The guy I'm seeing now actually hit on me on Grindr and we just kept talking.

    So... online I guess? hah.
  • hawkeye7

    Posts: 565

    Sep 07, 2011 8:05 PM GMT
    I know Pensacola pretty well an you are kindof in the wrong town, not that mine is any better. Finding a masculine, sexy man in Chattanooga is like looking for a cat in a room full of dogs, he is just not there.

    It will happen give it some time. BTW....you are going to have to put some pics on here, It might be your best chance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2011 8:11 PM GMT
    Go to work with a construction company and hang out with the guys after work. Trust me, you'll find a buddy and possibly a partner.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2011 8:16 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidThere's nothing wrong with your preference. It's your preference and you don't need to have everyone's approval on here. "Masculine" gay men tend to prefer other "masculine" gay men (and, indeed, even the more flamboyant gay men tend to like "masculine" gay men). Of course, the word "masculine" is subject to interpretation, and how you define "masculinity" as it pertains to your preference is purely personal. However, you cannot equate "straight" with "masculine" because, as we all know, some "straight" guys are more flamboyant (read: extra fem) looking than Liberace and Richard Simmons combined, and some gay guys are more "straight" looking than 99.99% of the hetero male population. Back to your question, if you're "masculine" based on your own definition, you will (hopefully) attract other "masculine" gay men. Stop pining over straight men--there are enough gay men with the qualities you're looking for.


    icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 20, 2011 11:25 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidThere's nothing wrong with your preference. It's your preference and you don't need to have everyone's approval on here. "Masculine" gay men tend to prefer other "masculine" gay men (and, indeed, even the more flamboyant gay men tend to like "masculine" gay men)...


    I agree, there isn't any problem with such preference. I feel the same and look for the same as well.

    I am happy to say that I have found my guy at a gay bar. I thought, hey I am "masculine" and I go to gay bars, it wouldn't be a surprise if I see like-mannered guys there too. And I did. Good luck! icon_smile.gif