Lost attraction?

  • barracuda68

    Posts: 66

    Sep 07, 2011 3:42 PM GMT
    What do you do if you still love your partner dearly but you're no longer turned on as much or at all anymore? You still want to spend your life with this person but are you simply resigned to unfulfilling/non-existent sex or cheating?

    Serious replies only, please.
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    Sep 07, 2011 3:48 PM GMT
    barracuda68 saidWhat do you do if you still love your partner dearly but you're no longer turned on as much or at all anymore? You still want to spend your life with this person but are you simply resigned to unfulfilling/non-existent sex or cheating?

    Serious replies only, please.


    OK...you need to dig down deep inside and examine why you're no longer turned on. A good friend, a well-known psychologist, opined once that many relationships fail because the parties in them forget what they first saw/felt in each other. We're talking remembering in a visceral sense, not an intellectual one.

    There's an old and much loved expression I'm thinking of here: Arms remember when eyes forget.

    For some, and we're of this type, emotion plays a large part in being turned on.

    -Doug
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    Sep 07, 2011 3:52 PM GMT
    lol, now I feel silly. I was responding thinking the OP was in a relationship and his description was what he was going through.

    He's single. Disregard my reply barracuda. icon_redface.gif
  • barracuda68

    Posts: 66

    Sep 07, 2011 4:15 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    barracuda68 saidWhat do you do if you still love your partner dearly but you're no longer turned on as much or at all anymore? You still want to spend your life with this person but are you simply resigned to unfulfilling/non-existent sex or cheating?

    Serious replies only, please.


    OK...you need to dig down deep inside and examine why you're no longer turned on. A good friend, a well-known psychologist, opined once that many relationships fail because the parties in them forget what they first saw/felt in each other. We're talking remembering in a visceral sense, not an intellectual one.

    There's an old and much loved expression I'm thinking of here: Arms remember when eyes forget.

    For some, and we're of this type, emotion plays a large part in being turned on.

    -Doug


    I don't know why I'm no longer turned on, doug. I've examined it again and again. I think it's probably natural, but no less disappointing. we love to cuddle and i love his companionship but when we met i wanted to jump his bones. everything about turned me on physically. i don't feel that's the case anymore and it saddens me.
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    Sep 07, 2011 4:30 PM GMT


    Well, how about we talk about what turned you on emotionally?

    Some men have their hearts and penises hardwired to each other. Others don't. In respect to monogamous relationships, we both feel the first type is more likely to have a successful monogamous relationship than the second.

    This in no way means the first is somehow better than the second, merely different.

    icon_wink.gif

    Consider this as well, that sexual turn ons come and go like tides in a long term relationship. There are peaks and valleys, and opportunities exist in both to explore each other, emotionally and physically.


    kindly,

    -us
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Sep 07, 2011 7:22 PM GMT
    barracuda68 saidWhat do you do if you still love your partner dearly but you're no longer turned on as much or at all anymore? You still want to spend your life with this person but are you simply resigned to unfulfilling/non-existent sex or cheating?

    Serious replies only, please.


    I would try to examine why I lost attraction for him and then try to think of ways to be more spontaneous and spice things up a bit. I would be honest with him and tell him that I want to try new things to make love making better. Hope this helps.