Gay clubs, etc.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2011 12:27 AM GMT
    Am I missing out because I haven't done the "club scene" that so many guys talk about? I've been to a gay bar/club only a few times. Didn't really enjoy the experience---I don't know how to dance and I hate loud places where you have to scream just to talk to the person next to you.

    My boyfriend likes to go to a certain gay bar/club every now and then. He meets up with friends and I once asked him if I could go with him but he told me that he never brings guys he's dating to the club and that he likes to be at the club to hang out with his friends.

    Should I be concerned about this? If anything it fuels even more my insecurity about the whole club scene. Is my boyfriend dancing with other guys and is that something I should worry about? He does like to dance and he says that he's a good dancer. I have to trust that he's not hooking up with anyone. He goes to the club once every few months. Years back, when he was my age (he's 10 years older than me), he would go more frequently. That's before I knew him.

    I feel like I'm missing out but at the same time I don't exactly like going to clubs either. My therapist thinks I should go to a club by myself just to see the place and get a drink. I haven't been to a gay club/bar in almost three years. I don't know how I feel about this. By myself? Should I be going there with my boyfriend? We've never been to a gay establishment together even though we've been together for a year. What does that mean?
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    Sep 08, 2011 12:35 AM GMT
    Hmmm. I usually find myself having fun in clubs because someone will end up trying to talk to me and I'll dance and be stupid (I can't stand at all, but it's h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s to see me try). I don't do the hook-up thing at clubs, but I know that a lottt of people in the clubs do. I suppose you should really just talk to him about it. I mean, that's really the only way you are going to know, right?

    Honestly, it would seem a little fishy to me. Then again I come from a viewpoint "Well, if you are with me and you really like me then you wouldn't mind being seen with me... right?" Others don't have that mentality. Ask him about it. What can it hurt?
  • sonnet129

    Posts: 116

    Sep 08, 2011 12:36 AM GMT
    me11 said

    My boyfriend likes to go to a certain gay bar/club every now and then. He meets up with friends and I once asked him if I could go with him but he told me that he never brings guys he's dating to the club and that he likes to be at the club to hang out with his friends.



    You have a boyfriend. You don't need to go to a club or bar.
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    Sep 08, 2011 12:48 AM GMT
    me11 saidAm I missing out because I haven't done the "club scene" that so many guys talk about? I've been to a gay bar/club only a few times. Didn't really enjoy the experience---I don't know how to dance and I hate loud places where you have to scream just to talk to the person next to you.

    My boyfriend likes to go to a certain gay bar/club every now and then. He meets up with friends and I once asked him if I could go with him but he told me that he never brings guys he's dating to the club and that he likes to be at the club to hang out with his friends.

    Should I be concerned about this?If anything it fuels even more my insecurity about the whole club scene. Is my boyfriend dancing with other guys and is that something I should worry about? He does like to dance and he says that he's a good dancer. I have to trust that he's not hooking up with anyone. He goes to the club once every few months. Years back, when he was my age (he's 10 years older than me), he would go more frequently. That's before I knew him.

    I feel like I'm missing out but at the same time I don't exactly like going to clubs either. My therapist thinks I should go to a club by myself just to see the place and get a drink. I haven't been to a gay club/bar in almost three years. I don't know how I feel about this. By myself? Should I be going there with my boyfriend? We've never been to a gay establishment together even though we've been together for a year. What does that mean?



    Whoa, doesn't sound good!
    (Maybe this is a troll post?)
    You sound naive.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2011 1:12 AM GMT
    imo if he isn't letting you go to the club with him then he doesn't take what you 2 have seriously. When in a relationship I personally wouldn't put up with being excluded.
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    Sep 08, 2011 4:01 AM GMT
    my "boyfriend" doesn't mind me going he wants me to go.. maybe he's insecure about you going or something....

    personally i think it's alot funner with your bf at the club... you guys get to bump and grind and get all sexual.. LOL.. at least i do when i'm with him icon_smile.gif
  • Rawrdo

    Posts: 343

    Sep 08, 2011 4:10 AM GMT
    Normally when one person in a relationship doesn't like clubbing and the other one doesn't, I don't really see anything bad with the person going out with his friends as long as the other person is informed about it. However, since in your scenario YOU are the one who doesn't like clubs but were still the one to PROPOSE to go the clubs TOGETHER, then it does sound a bit fishy and alarming to see your boyfriend not being excited to share something that he likes with you. And that "hanging out with his friends" sounds a bit more like an excuse, after all since you don't like clubs it's not like you're gonna go all the time and interrupt his "hanging out time" that often.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2011 4:55 AM GMT
    me11 saidAm I missing out because I haven't done the "club scene" that so many guys talk about? I've been to a gay bar/club only a few times. Didn't really enjoy the experience---I don't know how to dance and I hate loud places where you have to scream just to talk to the person next to you.


    Nope you're not missing out. And if you don't like gay clubs by 30 you're really just ahead of the curve. Most gay bars are like watching reality TV: it's only fun if you're stoned. But I don't advocate getting stoned frequently.
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    Sep 08, 2011 4:57 AM GMT
    well i haven't either but i'm not worried about that just do what you feel right with icon_smile.gif if u wanna go, go out icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2011 4:59 AM GMT
    sonnet129 said
    me11 said

    My boyfriend likes to go to a certain gay bar/club every now and then. He meets up with friends and I once asked him if I could go with him but he told me that he never brings guys he's dating to the club and that he likes to be at the club to hang out with his friends.



    You have a boyfriend. You don't need to go to a club or bar.


    Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean u shouldn't go to the club/bar. You must go to hook up but I go as a social event and to be with my friends and drink, dance and have a good time.

    When I had a bf I go with and without him sometimes depending on my mood and if my friends want to hang with me only or with both of us..